I'm Kind Of Bummed About This One Classroom Rule For My Daughter's Valentine's Day Party

Once the school notice came home that my daughter’s Kindergarten class would be having a special Valentine’s Day party, I couldn’t help but think back to the classroom parties I used to have in school.

I remember decorating my box or bag with ribbon, stickers, and construction paper hearts, hoping to snag a special Valentine from the kid I had a crush on in whatever grade. I also remember picking out Valentine's for certain friends and writing special messages on them, like “You’re my BFF!” or “Thanks for being my friend!”

And then there was the ultimate valentine to receive when you’re 10— the one from your crush. I’ll never forget the valentine I got from my crush in 3rd grade. It was a Looney Tunes valentine that said, “You’re really tweet!” and at the bottom, he wrote, “P.S. I like you.”

I kept it in the bottom of my shoe the rest of the day. Y’know normal kid stuff!

Now, that all kind of seems to be forgotten — at least at my kid’s school, and there’s one particular rule for her Valentine’s Day party that really bummed me out.

Her teacher sent instructions about the party and writing Valentine's cards, including no food (understandable!) and that the kids would make their own bags at school. The one rule that was hard for me to accept was that my daughter would only be writing her name on the cards. She would not be allowed to write her classmates a personalized greeting with their names.

This was just something different from the days of yore (I’m old!), and apparently, I’m not alone in feeling some type of way about this change.

One teacher posted her feelings and reasoning for this new rule about names on valentines and was met with some visceral responses.

“As former teacher, please DO NOT write names on your children's valentines. They will otherwise spend 30 mins trying to match each name with their box and this is time a teacher simply doesn't have. I know kids want to personalize cards and pick certain ones for certain people. But it is a logistical nightmare in the classroom,” she wrote in a now-deleted Thread.

Some parents expressed similar apprehension to the change like I did while some teachers chimed in and disagreed with the OP’s reasoning, mentioning how writing and reading names help with reading comprehension and handwriting skills.

After her opinion went viral, she deleted the OG post and wrote a follow-up, saying, “Didn’t realize kids valentines were so controversial. I was simply speaking from experience as a former elementary school teacher. We have to think about everything. Every little task. Plan it out thinking of all possible outcomes. When doing a craft we don’t give the supplies until they are to start the craft, otherwise the little ones will start doing things sans instructions. We have routines for getting ready to leave at the end of the day and walking in the hallway.”

“When it comes to holidays, it’s no different. We have an allotted time for the party. We plan our volunteers, snacks, activities. I know some kids enjoy personalizing valentines cards. I always told parents they could give as many personalized cards before and after school. But with a limited amount of time, each kid passing out individually named cards takes twice the amount of time. Time we simply don’t have.”

For Kindergarten or school-aged kids still mastering reading and writing, this does make sense. There is only so much time during the day and for kids to actually enjoy their valentine’s party, there needs to be some efficiency and time management. I totally understand and appreciate teachers who want to make the most of their time in the classroom and arrange certain rules and processes for the betterment of my child. So, this is kind of a both/and feeling for me.

I’m happy that my daughter has a teacher who thinks ahead, but I’m still a bit wistful about how things used to be on Valentine’s Day back when I was a kid.