This Mom Has No Rules Or Expectations For Her Adult Children
"I had 18 years of their lives to do my job."
In a refreshing take, one mom shares that, when it comes to her adult children, she does not have any rules or expectations for them. That’s right! She allows them to be full-fledged adults, making their own choices and living their own lives. It must take a confident mother to feel so assured her little birdies will fly free out of the nest, and she explains just how she grew that trust and respect with her kids in her now-viral video.
TikTok user Annie begins her video, “My rules for my adult children are that there are no rules. There are no rules and there are no expectations.”
Hard boundaries can feel heavy and stressful once a child turns 18. Though they may not feel like an adult or have the financial means to live on their own, there is something to be said about a parent respecting their kid, treating them like an individual, and trusting them to make good and honorable choices on their own without guilt trips or strings attached by mom and dad.
She continues, “There's no, ‘You have to call me once a week or you have to come home on these specific holidays’ because I had 18 years. I had 18 years of their lives to do my job. Now they get to soar. They get to fly. They get to do their thing without worrying that mom is lonely or mom is sad or mom misses me. I'm good!”
“I'm their support person. They're steady consistent support person while they go do their thing with no expectations from me. They don't need to make me happy. I am happy to watch them live their life. If they fail and they need me, I'm here. No judgment. They're going to mess up. I'm here.”
“And if they win, I will celebrate with them. I'm here. I will consistently always be here to be their biggest cheerleader. Their constant support. Without expectations. They do not have to please me. I want them to please themselves. It is their life. When they have kids, they get to set the rules. They get to decide what happens because they're the adults. It's theirs. Their job is not to make me happy. Their job is to live their lives. And I trust them to do that. No rules.”
I. Want. To. Be. This. Mom.
This is the kind of mom that adult children want to call! They want to spend time with a mom who loves unconditionally without messy stipulations or quid pro quo. A parent who can stand back and watch their kid shine, make mistakes, and develop into their own person on their own terms is a parent who has full love and trust in their kid.
TikTok users agreed, sharing their thoughts in Annie’s comment section.
“I wish my mom was like that. She acts like I owe her the rest of my life to entertain her. It’s awful the guilt,” one user wrote.
“My adult daughter told me she wants to cook her own mini Thanksgiving and hang with her dog. Do whatever you want baby — I love you,” another mom wrote.
Another noted, “💯💯💯 The irony is, when you have this take, they often stay close. Because they know they are unconditionally loved and respected.” Bingo!
