“Stauffer Family” Mom Katie Anderson Is Coming Into Her Own

These days, “parenting influencer” is practically a mainstream career path. But when Katie Anderson first found her way to Instagram more than a decade ago, the idea that her photos and videos could one day become the family business didn’t cross her mind. In fact, she was busy photographing fruit when her eldest daughter, Kaitlin, started pitching ideas to her about posting skits of one-half of Katie’s twin-daughter duo: Mila Stauffer. Yes, that Mila... the precocious toddler who went viral at just 3 years old for venting about her comically grown-up problems on Instagram (“I’m so stressed... I’m gonna do some reading and belax” *pulls out InTouch Weekly*).

Before long, Mila’s twin Emma felt comfortable enough in front of the camera to be part of the fun, and the Stauffer Twins became internet sensations. Now 10 years old, the smart and sassy tweens have catapulted their family to online stardom, racking up over 13 million followers across their channels and even clothing lines at Walmart and Target. Anderson — mom of seven, chaos coordinator, content creator — has only recently begun making more frequent cameos, but she’s always been steering the ship. And from navigating the stuff that comes with digital fame, like internet safety, to weathering typical teen problems, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing.

When Scary Mommy had the chance to chat with Anderson over Zoom, she opened up about her family’s journey and what’s next.

Scary Mommy: Could you ever have imagined back when you started posting family videos that this is where you’d be today?

Katie Anderson: No! I literally joined Instagram because I love photography. There was this one account that would always have a theme, and it'd be like, ‘Post a fruit today.’ Everyone would come up with these creative ways to showcase that or whatever, so I would always do stuff like that. That turned into photographing my kids and just posting.

So, no, I never thought, ‘Oh, this is going to be something.’ That was never the intent at all. It literally became something when, as I grew a following, brands would reach out and be like, ‘Can we send you this or whatever?’ Even then, I didn't really think much of it. I was like, ‘Oh, that's cool. OK. Yeah.’

SM: TikTok has been a huge driving force in the last five years in parenting influencers going mainstream, but your start happened before that really took off. Has a shift taken place?

KA: We actually didn't even start TikTok until two years ago because I was like, ‘Oh, I don't want another thing to do, another platform.’ We grew really quickly on there, but it's hard to compare TikTok to Instagram because Instagram, for me, has been so wholesome and wonderful. I get just amazing messages from people all the time. Our point is to literally make people laugh.

Before I did these, it was photography. Then my older daughter Kaitlin came to me one day, and I knew she'd always made videos, but she's like, ‘Oh, I made this video with Mila. You have to post it.’ I was like, ‘That's going to ruin my feed. It's just supposed to be pictures.’ I did it anyway, and it blew up.

So, it put my photography on hold because that's what people wanted. They wanted these funny videos. I would get messages from people like ... ‘I'm going through a divorce, and this has gotten me through.’ So, it's always been about making people happy and literally laugh, because that's what I like to go on social media for. I love watching people's funny videos.

TikTok's just different. It's harsher. Maybe it's because [it’s] a lot of kids, and everything is scrutinized. I just feel like I'm new to that.

SM: What are some of the lessons you feel like you had to learn trial-by-fire along the way?

KA: I guess I just learned to be more cautious, but at the same time, we don't do anything that's really crazy. So, along the way, you just learn that you do have to think of everything.

The main thing that has been good for us is — people don't realize this — in a one-week period, we probably spend one hour total per week making content. I'm sure most people that are influencers, it's their job and they're doing it all day, but we just really don't. I try to do it when the girls are like, ‘We want to do it.’ A lot of the things we do are because they bring the ideas. They're like, ‘Let's do this, let's do that.’

When they were younger, it started out because Kaitlin would write this video and be like, ‘Do this.’

But now they're so into it that they bring ideas, and then they fight over, ‘Well, I want to do this part, I want to do this part.’ Most of the ideas — 90% of the ideas — come from them. So, we spend about, like I said, one hour a week shooting content.

The only time that we don't that it's not like, ‘Let's do this or let's not do that,’ is if we have a brand deal or something. I know there are some instances where parents have, but you can't make kids do these. It's in them. My daughters love to act. Entertaining is huge in our family: my mom, my ex-husband, everybody. So, it’s really easy for us because they love it, and it's their schedule.

SM: Mila and Emma definitely seem like natural-born performers.

KA: The boys are older, and everyone's like, ‘Why don't you ever have them in it?’ Because they don't want to do it. I've said, ‘You guys should. You're so cute.’ They're like, ‘No, we don't want to.’ They've been in a few things, but as far as everyday content, they're like, ‘We would be crucified at school.’ It's just not their thing.

SM: Mila and Emma are 10 now, entering those tween-going-teen years. Have they started pushing back any?

KA: Yeah, definitely. They haven't, per se, done that in videos because, like I said, they usually come up with ideas. But I'll just be filming them or something for a story, just normal stuff, and they'll be like, ‘Oh, please don't post that.’ If they say someone's name that they like, ‘Please don't post that.’ That just started recently, this past year, having an opinion where they're noticing: ‘That would be so embarrassing. Please don't.’ Or Mila will watch a video and be like, ‘I look like a dork. Please don't post stuff like that.’

SM: We hear SO much these days about internet safety and kids. What did your conversations about that look like early on, and how often do y’all revisit your rules?

KA: When we first started, they were so young; they never were on social media. They never did any of that until recently. Last year, they were really into TikTok. But for the most part, we're always together in the house, in the family room, the kitchen, whatever. So, we're always watching them all together.

They do play Roblox and stuff like that. I'm just really open with them, and they get it. I don't baby things for them. My biggest pet peeve is baby talk. When I talk to them, I literally just say it — ‘If you're on Roblox and someone's talking to you’... It was like, ‘Well, what if it's a girl?’ I'm like, ‘You don't know if it's a girl. You literally don't.’ They'll be like, ‘But why?’ I just tell them this is what people do. You can't talk to people on these things. We have all the blocks and the safeguards and stuff, but you never know.

So, I just talk to them like that, and they get it. They're really mature, and they're not defiant. People will be like, ‘You're being naive,’ but I just know my kids. I talk to my boys about drinking and drugs. I talk to them about it all the time, especially now when you're hearing Fentanyl is in candy and stuff like that. I'm just really open with them.

SM: Because of the era I grew up in, the girls remind me of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson — twins in the spotlight whose brand is evolving as they get older. Have you talked about what that's going to look like moving into the future?

KA: They want to be actresses. That's it. That's what they talk about. I mean, Mila talks about singing, too. My mom's a professional singer, my ex-husband's sisters were singers, and my oldest daughter is writing songs; she's working with a producer. So, it's big in our family. But I'd say even before that, they want to act. Sometimes, they'll read comments, and people will be like, ‘Why aren't these girls acting?’

We live in Arizona. If it happens, it happens. I haven't really dove in because I have my sons. Even just the little stuff that we do, I'm always feeling guilty leaving them ... It’s like, I know that that'll take me away even more, and so I'm just torn.

SM: Yeah, that's tough. Well, what about you? What’s next?

KA: When I first started social media, because it was my photos, I was in a lot of my content. I tried to be a part of it. Then we started doing the videos, and I stepped back from being in anything because my ex-husband was like, ‘Nobody wants to see you anyways. This is what they want to see.’ So I was like, ‘OK.’

It's been one of my biggest regrets.

That's why now you see me in more stuff, because I always wanted to be a part of it. It was fun to me. The girls and I have so much fun doing it. There are a lot of reasons why, besides even my husband saying that, I wasn't in content and stuff. It was on me; I just couldn't do it. Then the girls were begging and begging. So, finally, I did it.

I haven't really thought much about myself because I was never really a part of it ... I'm just starting to think about myself in this space, I guess.

SM: It's never too late.

KA: That's another thing — I'm the worst when it comes to that. I never thought I would care about my age ever. I remember when I was younger, someone would say something about age or whatever. I'm like, ‘Why do they care?’ ... I remember saying to myself, ‘I'm never going to care about that stuff.’ I remember those thoughts in my head. I don't even know if I should be admitting all this, but I'm going to be 47, and I feel like a ticking time bomb. That's why I say it's my biggest regret. Why did I let all that time go?

SM: It's a weird phase of life, for sure. What kind of content do you like following right now?

KA: I follow a lot of the fashion mom stuff just because they always seem to share what's new, even if it's makeup or products. I also love following the people who share all the Amazon gadgets and stuff. I love that. But I'm also starting to find a ton of people who do the stuff we do, the funny stuff and relatable stuff.

There is this one account, North Valley GRP... it's a dad and his three sons, and I die every time I watch their stuff. They're just making fun of everyday stuff that you're like, ‘Oh, my gosh ... how did they think of that because it’s so true?’ I just love laughing. I just love content like that. I love it. But then it's hard — I want to do that video, too (laughs). It’s so good.

SM: I hate when people have ideas and you're like, ‘Damn, why don't I think of that first?’

KA: Yes. How did they come up with that? My older daughter, Kaitlin, would probably come up with all that stuff. So, she does help a lot. She'll just send me ideas every once in a while, but the relatable stuff is so fun to me. I think that's what they want to see. I mean, obviously, they want to see other stuff, but you need a dose of that every day just to laugh.

SM: I was so amazed when I read that Kaitlin was responsible for all the early Mila videos.

KA: Every single one of them.

SM: That’s wild.

KA: She was like 12, 13 years old, and she literally used to come and read them to us, and sometimes we'd have to, for example, change a word. I'm like, ‘Oh, I probably shouldn't say that word.’ But yeah, I remember she would read them to us. One time, I cried because I was like, ‘How do you do that?’

SM: So, with influencing becoming so mainstream, what advice do you have for parents and kids getting into this world?

KA: Being on top of it, really being a part of it, is huge because there are always questions. If you're always there to answer them, I think that takes a lot of the worry out: consuming the content with them, not letting them be in bed and consuming it alone and whatever, putting all the safeguards on, and doing all that stuff.

But also ... one thing that we did right off the bat is that when it comes to the money, they have accounts, and the money that is made goes to them. When we got a divorce, I even asked to put it in there because I just wanted to be protected against that.

We follow the laws in California — there's filming laws, there's Coogan Account laws — we follow all of that. I think that it's just important because they need to be compensated for what they're doing. Even if it’s a family account and it's everybody, everybody needs to be compensated. It’s really been huge for us.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.