A Mom Shares Her Take On Extended Family & Sports: “It’s Your Responsibility To Show Up”

My daughter is the only granddaughter and niece on my side of the family. This means that when she starts a new sport or activity, she usually has a full fan section at every game or practice filled with relatives.

I’ll typically send out her sports schedule or recital times once in a group chat, noting where and when the events will take place, and then they can pick and choose what works for them.

One mom of four handles her kid’s sports schedules similarly, noting that once she sends out that schedule — it’s out of her hands.

“I might ruffle some feathers with this one, but if I send you all four of my kids' schedules for sports — it's your responsibility to show up,” TikTok mom and content creator, Caitlin Nickel, explains in her video.

“Let me repeat that. If I send you the sports schedule for whatever sports happening, whatever season is happening, it is your responsibility to show up for my child — all four of my kids.”

Nickel explains that once she sends out whatever pertinent information an extended family needs to know in order to attend said games or events, she’s done her part. She is not going to remind anyone, and she is not going to help plan out any sort of viewing strategy.

She continues, “So, it is then on you to look at your schedule, look at the sports schedule, and see if anything lines up, if there's any days you can go to. It's not my responsibility to text you five days prior to the game and remind you, ‘Hey, this is coming up. It's here. You know, hopefully you can make it.’ It's not my responsibility to text you the night before and be like, ‘Hey, just a reminder, game's tomorrow.’ It's not my responsibility to think like, ‘Oh, the girls have softball game at 10 a.m. and then 12 p.m. — you could hit both of them for them.”

That being said, Nickel recognizes that with four kids, there is no way to be able to make it to everything (even though, as their mom, she does). It’s a lot, and she gets that. However, she warns that if a promise is made by a family member that they will be at a certain game or event, they better damn well be there.

“...If you tell my kid you're going or you're going to try, you better bet your ass is in the bleachers, cheering them on. And if you don't show up, that's okay. They'll notice. I will notice, probably before them, but me and my partner are always going to show up for these kids and that's all that matters,” she said.

“You're a bonus. You're extra. That's great if you want to show up. Kudos to you. But if you don't want to, you don't want to make the time, totally fine. Don't even worry about it. The little circle that we have around our kids of our people, they'll show up. And that's really all that matters.”

Several parents in the thick of youth sports and activities weighed in on this opinion, writing in the comment section that they agreed with Nickel’s point of view.

“Absolutely! I run my household, I can’t run your household too…,” one user wrote.

“I agree! When they ask for the schedule, you send it and then they constant ‘when/where’s the game!?’ Also, the ones who NEVER bother to show, ever. WE NOTICE, noted. ✔️” another wrote.

One grandma wrote, “We don’t miss anything. It’s our favorite pastime watching our grandkids do anything.”

Others thought that sending a friendly reminder about a game wasn’t that big of a deal.

“I always text my sister to remind her. I have one 15 year old. my nephew is special needs and I know she's super busy w appts. I don't mind at all,” one user wrote.

Another said, “I get it, but I think it’s your delivery that is off 🤔 at the start of the season I give out the schedule and say we would love to see you, but understand if you can’t. Then I go about my life”

There is obviously a difference between sending a friendly reminder text to family (if you don’t mind) and having to hound grandparents down who said they’d be at a game but then didn't show. Seems like this mom is just trying to do right by her kids while also managing a hectic schedule.