Yes, The First Thing I Do After Dropping My Kid Off At School Is Take A F*cking Nap

It's noon, and I just woke up. Again. I'm sure some people would see this tidbit and scoff or judge. Well, this message is for you.

As a mom who works and goes to school full-time, who barely has a "village" but is doing the best I can, this is what my life is like. And, honestly, my schedule isn't really any of your business. But the thing is, the pressure put on moms (all moms) to always be "on" is outrageous, and I'm hoping a look inside one "lazy mom's" schedule might help other moms feel better about how they spend their time.

If it also happens to put a few people in their place, hey, that works too.

When I wake up at noon, I have three-ish hours to do some homework and a little freelance writing, switch the laundry, catch up on the dishes in the sink, and, if I'm lucky, clean our absolutely disgusting toilet. Not a lot of time, yet I make it work. Every damn day.

It's worth noting that noon is not my first wake-up of the day: Noon is about the time I wake up from my nap. Twelve hours earlier, at midnight, I was still at my computer, doing more work and homework. I went to bed around 2 a.m. and woke up naturally at 6:30 a.m. And no, four hours does not make a good night's sleep, but it's what works for this mom at this moment.

At 6:30, I "start my day" with a shower, breakfast, birth control, and part of a lecture from my current course load in grad school. By 7:45, my kindergartener is awake and asking for breakfast. While she eats in front of PBS Kids, I tidy up a bit from the night before, boil tea for the day, and pack her lunch. An hour later, we make the 30-minute commute to her school, and by 10 a.m., if I'm lucky, I'm back in bed, burrowed under blankets, and reading about marketing analytics until it puts me to sleep.

When I leave home again at 3 p.m., it's to pick up my daughter. Once my kid is back in my possession, there's no time or brain power for anything related to school or work. SiriusXM's Disney Junior Radio or the Broadway channel soundtrack our drive home while my daughter tells me about her day and reads billboards or cringey bumper stickers as we sit in rush hour traffic.

Once home, she enjoys a snack in her tray and spends a few minutes winding down with her tablet. I use that time to go through the landfill of paperwork that the school sends home every day. I sign her calendar, pack her lunch and snack, and then start dinner. While dinner is doing its thing, we work on her homework together. Eventually, her dad gets home, and the real chaos begins.

It's a fun time, don't get me wrong; just not conducive to doing work or school. We play and eat. Maybe we have our daughter do a chore like cleaning up some toys or feeding the cat, so we get five minutes to have an adult conversation. By 8 p.m., it's bedtime for her or class time for me. The two nights a week that I have class from 8 to 9, her dad is supposed to do bedtime... yet, somehow, when I sneak back down the stairs at 9, there's always an excuse as to why she's still awake — and he's sound asleep on the couch.

So, bedtime is later on Mondays and Wednesdays, but by 9 or 10, I'm back at the screen, working away until I can't keep my eyes open again. I crash into bed, often asleep before I reach the doorway. By 6:30 a.m., I'm awake again, and the next day looks the same as the last.

I'm not complaining. I chose grad school. I chose working from home long before I had my child and way before it was a more normal thing to do. I chose motherhood, too. Actually, I wished, waited, and worried for motherhood for a long time. So, I don't take it for granted. Choosing those opportunities doesn't make juggling them any easier, though. And looking at each as an opportunity and not an obligation is also not enough to keep me from needing that nap each day.

Here's what I know about my choices and opportunities: My kid is smart and kind. She's loved, and she knows it. My bills are (usually) paid and (usually) on time. My house isn't the cleanest on the block, but it's safe and healthy. My child, my partner, and the rest of my family get plenty of time with me.

Even when I take a mid-morning nap.

Because of that nap, I'm able to make a meal from scratch (usually). I can take a deep breath when my kid makes bad choices and repeat a quote from my favorite book, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it... yet." Because I take a nap, I stay focused, get good grades, and know that a better, easier future is waiting for us just beyond graduation.

My naps mean my sanity — my mental and physical health. They're no different than the lil' treats from Starbucks or the loop around Target many moms take each week. My naps are as good as the therapy my grandma got from tending to her garden or my grandfather got from tinkering on projects.

So, yeah, I'm going to keep taking my naps. And, if that bothers you, maybe you're just grumpy and need a nap, too?

Deirdre Kaye is a writer/journalist and mother to one very smart, sweet deviled egg. She enjoys taking three months to finish a book, planning all the tiny details of road trips she’ll never take, and decorating her craftsman bungalow. In addition to Scary Mommy, her writing can be found on Bridal Guide, Yahoo, HuffPo, TheDad, and Cleveland Scene.