Five Times Parents Should Put Down Their Phones, According To A Parent Coach

I’ll never forget when my daughter shamed me for being on my phone. It’s definitely up there on the list of Bad Parenting Moments. She was talking to me, working on a puzzle, and I was just mindlessly scrolling next to her. And...I wasn’t paying attention to a thing she was saying. She was pissed (rightfully so), and said, “MOM! Get off your phone and listen to me!”

That totally snapped me out of it.

I felt like s**t for being that parent and totally ignoring her. Also, I would have been so mad and annoyed if my husband had been doing what I was doing. After that incident, I try to be on my phone way less when I am with my daughter. Also, I always tell her that we need to limit screen time, so how hypocritical do I seem when I take away her iPad and then hop on TikTok? Yeah, not great!

One parenting coach agrees that parents need to be on their phones way less, especially around their kids. Parenting coach and author Fadekemi Adeniyi shared five times parents need to put their phones down in a now-viral video.

1. When your child wakes up in the morning

“Number one, when your child wakes up in the morning. When you're seeing your child for the first time in the morning, drop your phone ... Let your eyes light up. The way you react to seeing them now is the way they'll see themselves. Okay? So, when your eyes light up, they’re like, ‘Oh, I'm important. I light up my parents' world.’ That alone can build your child's confidence,” she explained.

2. When you’re about to be separated from your child

Adeniyi continued, “When you're getting separated. Maybe they're going to school and or maybe you're dropping them off at school. Drop your phone.”

She says that whatever we speak, as parents, to our kids during those moments right before a separation will stick with them through the rest of the day. Whatever you say to them now sticks with them throughout the day.

“This is where you want to say, ‘You're a leader. You have a strong mind. You're important. We love you.’ This is when you want to say that. Drop your phone. This is not time to pick up your phone.”

3. When you’re about to be reunited with your child

After coming together again with your child after a longer separation, give your child your full attention. The OP explains, “You're just seeing your child again. Let your eyes light up. Drop your phone.”

3. Eating together as a family

This is one of those “Practice what you preach” type moments! It’s so easy to turn on the TV or grab your phone, but studies show that mealtime can be so beneficial for family connection.

Adeniyi agrees. “Your child is watching. What you do is what they would do. Okay, so drop your phone. They're watching you. Model the behavior you want to see in your child. Connect. Talk together. Okay, at the table. Don't be staring at your phone when it's a good time to bond with your family,” she instructed.

4. During bedtime routine

“[Bedtime] is time to connect. You must have disconnected from your child during the day. Maybe you've gotten angry at them. You scolded them. This is the time to connect. Don't let your child go to bed without connecting. Even if it is 10 minutes of play. Even if it is a 5-minute play, connect with your child,” the OP says.

There is really nothing that makes humans more disconnected from their surroundings than being glued to their phones. If we want that connection, that bond, with our kids, we need to work on ourselves and how we’re behaving during those times of connection with our kids.