A Mom Shared How The “Circle Of Friends” Technique Helps Children Navigate Frienships

Watching your child build their first friendships is one of the great joys of parenting — but seeing them struggle in that arena can be heartbreaking. Unfortunately, not every person your kid meets is going to be BFF material, so this mom shared a simple way to help kids (and grown-ups, too) to understand that the different levels of friendship.

Karen Tay shared a video to Instagram Reels, inspired by her 5-year-old daughter.

“She told me about how a friend had treated her, and her request was for me to arrange a play date with this friend so that she could get closer to her. And in fact, this friend was blowing hot and cold on her,” Tay explained.

“I had mom heartbreak,” she said.

We’ve all been there — an inconsistent friend is not fun to deal with at any age. But, Tay took this moment as an opportunity to teach her daughter a lesson (one many of us probably wish we’d learned a little bit younger).

Tay explained the “circles of friendship,” starting with the inner circle: “People you can really trust your heart with.”

Next, “There's friends and collaborators who may come and go, and really you get the chance to play with them, but still be able to assess what boundaries you need to put in place, how much you trust them,” she said. “So guard your heart still, but play.”

Finally comes the outer circle, people who have already shown you that they don’t value your friendship.

“We also talked about the importance of trusting your gut, of really learning to be alone and be happy, what activities make you happy and even trying new friends, people you might not have considered before,” Tay said.

The commenters applauded Tay’s technique, and while many wrote that they’d be using it with their children, just as many said they needed to hear it themselves.

“The younger children learn about boundaries the better…you’re a kind mom to help her to learn how decide herself to make healthy choices,” one user commented.

“👏 This is so good as first time mom navigating playground/ school friendship dynamics and learning for myself as well ❤️” one mom wrote.

“This is honestly a timeless lesson, & something we need to revisit routinely even as adults,” said another user.

Friendships can be complicated, but this is one way to make them just a little bit easier to navigate.