This Boy Mom Wants To Know How Parents Are Raising Sons To Not Be "Bad Men"
"I am fearful that my son could turn into someone that I didn't raise."
In the 2024 election, there was a distinct shift among people ages 18-29 towards Trump, especially in men. Fifty-six percent of young men were in favor of the former President in 2024, compared to only 41% in 2020. When it came to actual votes, young Gen Z white men —mainly those without college degrees— voted overwhelmingly for Trump (67%).
So, even though young voters tend to skew to the left, why did this happen? One major theory relies on the “red pilling” of men. The “Red Pill,” a term that comes from the 1999 film The Matrix, has become a saying to describe their “awakening.”
When it comes to men, “red pilling” reveals social, economic, and sexual “truths” that say men are at the mercy of women’s (and feminists’) power and desires. The Red Pill terminology grew in male supremacist forums and podcasts (see: Andrew Tate).
For parents today, this kind of internet culture can be frightening.
One mom fears the worst for her own son, wondering how parents are going about raising their boys to not grow up to be, as she puts it, “pieces of sh*t.”
“I'm going to get a lot of shit for this video, but I have a question for mothers of boys, of sons. How are you raising your son to ensure that he is not a piece of sh*t when he's an adult, but also doesn't inherently feel badly about himself?” TikTok mom, Jesse, asks in her video, before sharing that she has a 12-year-old son.
Jesse admits she is worried about her son losing his kindness, compassion and empathy, noting he is the best kid ever. Jesse also has a teen daughter who she assures her confidence in.
“With my daughter, I don't fear that she will get older and become an adult and be someone else. I am positive that this is who she is. This is who she will continue to be. It's who she's been her whole life,” she says.
“I am, however, fearful that my son could turn into someone that I didn't raise. I'm terrified that he will get red-pilled, that society will get its hands on him and turn him into someone that I don't recognize.”
Jesse shares that she lost her own brother to the red pill movement, noting that his misogynistic and hateful viewpoints have geared him towards a life of hating women. She brings this up because even though her brother now thinks this way, he was not raised with those kinds of morals or values.
“He really wasn't that way until he was like 18, 19 years old and it's only gotten worse, you know, as he's gotten older. And it's my biggest fear that that will happen to my son, that he will be an incredible kid who he is now and eventually won't be,” she admits.
And while Jesse continues to have meaningful conversations with her son about misogyny, the patriarchy, and respecting women (and people in general), she worries that eventually, her words won’t matter.
“I'm so fearful that that will go away when he goes to college or just I can tell the kind of friends he is starting to make will draw him away from who he is in that sense,” she concluded.
After her video went viral several TikTok users gave some great answers to help this worried mom.
“Including my sons in EVERYTHING. they are never excluded bc it’s not a “boy” thing- cooking, shopping, music, self care day, etc. And talking about EVERYTHING- friends, politics, silly stuff, pointing out acts of empathy/compassion, validation of their feelings. But I have the same worries,” one mom said.
Another wrote, “I picked a great dad for him. He is teaching him that therapy is normal, apologies are easy to give and receive, love is universal.”
Focus on raising him to be secure and confident in his inherent value as a human being so he won’t be drawn to spaces that tell him he has to suppress/oppress others to prove his worth/value,” another noted.
One user pointed out, “Media literacy is also going to be important. Also identifying/working through defensiveness. Both require stepping back from initial emotional reactions and analyzing a message's intent.”
“You should have him read. A lot! About many, many different kinds of people. When you watch the news/shows ask him what he sees and have a talk about it,” another said.
Another user encouraged the OP to get ahead of her worries.
“Talk to him about what red pill and all that is, don't wait for him to stumble on it or hear about it from friends first. that way he is prepared and not so easily taken down a rabbit hole,” she said.
This mom’s video garnered thousands of comments with words of advice and encouragement, which is great! And this mom should be recognized for even wondering and worrying about this kind of possibility for her kid. There are a lot of parents who don’t have the foresight or emotional intelligence to help raise the next generation of good, kind humans (as we saw with the 2024 election), and good on her for starting the conversation!
