Celeb Couple Has The Worst Idea Ever For 1st Month With A Newborn

Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder plan to observe a ‘month of silence’ after baby’s birth

There are some celebrity parents who prove that despite their riches, they can absolutely be just like us. Drew Barrymore’s brows, Kate Hudson’s pizza, and pretty much anything Chrissy Teigen tweets are solid reminders that when it comes to parenting — we’re all navigating this crazy world together.

Then there are the other type of celebrity parents. Anytime Gwyneth Paltrow sends out a new GOOP email, we’re reminded of the vast difference between Us and Them. It seems as though parents-to-be Nikki Reed and her husband, Ian Somerhalder, may fall into this camp because they have some truly special ideas of what life with a newborn will be like for them.

“We’ll take the baby’s first month for ourselves,” Reed recently told Fit Pregnancy and Baby. “After the baby arrives, we’re doing one month of silence. Just the three of us, no visitors, and we’re turning off our phones too, so there’s no expectation for us to communicate.”

*record scratch*

A month of silence? No visitors for a month? Ha. Haha. Hahahaha.

While we can absolutely appreciate two parents who want to do all they can to bond with their baby during those early days (even if we’re jealous of two people who are able to afford to be off, together, as a family, for an entire month), this whole “month of silence” idea is, uh, a tad unrealistic.

Not just because trying to hold back grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends for 30 days is a Herculean effort in itself, but because we give it 48 hours before they’re downright begging for someone to come over. Someone to help hold the baby while they shower, eat, take a power nap — you name it, you’ll need it.

Reed also says that she doesn’t want to feel pressure to constantly send pictures and updates after the baby is born. “You don’t get those first 30 days back,” she says. “And we want to be fully present.”

Look, before I had a child, I was all about the “unplugging” and “being present in the moment” stuff too. Then I gave birth, was hit with an onslaught of postpartum anxiety around day four, and had oh, I don’t know, about 5,000 questions per day regarding breastfeeding and my healing vagina. I needed my phone. I lived for that phone during 3 a.m. cluster feedings when I desperately wanted to be in touch with the world around me for a few minutes. When I didn’t know what color my daughter’s poop was supposed to be. When I wondered if the scented, giant pads I accidentally bought were going to give me an infection Down There.

When you’re a new parent, Google gets you through it.

Same goes for the help of willing relatives and friends. Nothing makes you crave the comfort of another human to communicate with quite like intense sleep deprivation and a constant state of mild panic.

So be well, Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder. We wish you the all the health and happiness in the world. But we give it until about day three before you’re eating your words — and there’s nothing wrong with that.