Natural Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting... Let's call the whole thing off.

Why this sudden trend of pigeonholing Moms? Every mom I know proudly wears some parenting label. Natural Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Conservative mama, Homeschooling mama. When did this start? Why did this start? More importantly, why the hell don’t I fit in???

It’s like trying on jeans. I try on 100 pairs and none of them fit just right. Some fit my butt but not my waist, some fit my thighs but are too short. It’s a freakin’ nightmare. Same with the mommy labels. Am I a freak? Are these other women just blindly following what some book tells them so that they can fit into a label?

AM I DOING IT WRONG???

Where do I fit?

I breastfeed exclusively, so I must be a natural parent.

I co-sleep, so I must be an attachment parent.

My kids don’t all have the same dad, so I must be a trashy mama.

My guy and I aren’t married, so I must be an alt mama.

Oh, but wait! I also spank my older kids, own guns, gave my 6 year old a BB gun for Christmas (a Red Rider, no less!) get frustrated and yell at my kids, sit in the shower with the water on full blast and sob, spray my kids with the waterhose when they’re playing outside and don’t know I’m out there, take my kids to church (sometimes) and love the way they smell when they’re hot and sweaty and have been playing hard.

Whatever happened to just being a Mom? This high school clique stuff annoys me. I didn’t fit in then, and I don’t fit in now. I don’t want to, either. I’m doing it my way and my kids are pretty freakin’ awesome, so no, I don’t think I’m doing it wrong. I think I’m doing it exactly right.

You probably are, too.