56 Hilarious Mushroom Puns, Jokes, And One-Liners That'll Definitely Grow On You

Are mushrooms a fruit or a vegetable? Great question! They’re considered a vegetable, but technically they’re a member of the fungi kingdom. (Interesting fact to share with the kids: Kingdoms are how scientists classify groups of living things to study — plants, animals, and so on.) Despite being sold in the produce section, mushrooms are actually not plants at all. They are healthy for you, though. They’re low in calories, fat, cholesterol, and sodium, and they offer protein, vitamin D, and B vitamins — riboflavin and niacin. They also provide selenium and potassium. And interestingly, they are a good source of chitin, an indigestible carbohydrate that contributes “bulk” to our diet, helping us feel fuller. Did we mention how hilarious mushroom puns and mushroom jokes are? Basically, mushrooms are an underrated food group and don’t get enough recognition.

Well, we’re going to remedy that. We’ve got a whole troop of mushroom jokes, puns, and one-liners you can sink your teeth into. But before we get to the funnies, we’ve got a few fun factoids about mushrooms to share:

• Mushrooms produce vitamin D when exposed to ultraviolet light, but they don’t need light to grow. Interestingly, mushrooms for human consumption are grown indoors in a sterile environment to prevent contamination.
• Mushrooms are grown year-round in all 50 states. The fact that they’re grown indoors means they don’t need a specific climate to thrive. You probably have a mushroom producer nearby. Check your local farmer’s market to see!
• Mushrooms are incredibly gentle on the planet. They’re one of the most sustainably grown foods in the US. They require very little energy and water to grow, and their growing medium is compostable. Along with that, their growth footprint is small. Over a million mushrooms can be produced annually in a one-acre space.

Now that you know a bit more about this fascinating food, are you ready for some mushroom humor? Let’s get started.

Best Mushroom Jokes

1. What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?

“You’re a fun-gi.”

1. How do you get into the mush-room?

Ring the porta-bella.

1. How does a mushroom clean her house?

With a mush-broom.

1. What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom?

“Put a cap on it.”

1. Why do mushroom children behave so well?

They don’t want to get in truffle.

1. Where do baby mushrooms grow before they’re born?

In the mush-womb.

1. Why is it impossible to have a conversation with a female mushroom?

Because shiitake too much.

1. Knock, knock.

Who’s there? Mush. Mush who? Mush you always ask so many questions.

1. What did the mushroom say after getting into a car wreck?

“Help! I’m in so much truffle!”

1. What did the mushroom wife say to her mushroom husband at their wedding?

“I love you so mush-groom!”

1. Why did the mushroom get stuck in traffic on the way to work?

It was mush-hour.

1. Why did the fun-gi (fun guy) leave the party?

There wasn’t mush-room.

1. What does a fast mushroom car say?

“Shroom! Shroom!”

1. Why do toadstools grow so close together?

They don’t need mush-room.

1. Why was the mushroom arrested?

For stalking.

1. What do you call a mushroom encyclopedia?

A fung-guide to mushrooms.

1. Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch?

He prefers toadstools.

1. Why did the mushroom hate going to school?

He was always spored.

1. Did you hear the joke about fungus?

You may not like it at first, but it will definitely grow on you.

1. What made the mushroom farmer a good person?

He had really good morels.

1. What does a mushroom buy when it’s having a mid-life crisis?

A spores car.

1. How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mush-room as possible.

1. What do mushrooms enjoy eating around a campfire?

S’pores.

1. Why does the fungi always win the argument?

He doesn’t leave mush-room for debate.

1. What happens when two fungi get married?

They become fung-us.

1. What do you call a mushroom that makes music?

A de-composer.

1. What does a mushroom do for fun?

Play spore-ts.

1. Why did the mushroom lose the weightlifting competition?

He wasn’t stroganoff.

1. What veggie goes best with jacket potatoes?

Button mushrooms.

1. What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel?

“A shroom with a view, please!”

1. What did the fungi say when he was offered seconds at dinner?

“No thanks. I don’t have mush-room left in my stomach.”

1. What do you get if a frog eats a mushroom?

A toadstool.

1. What does a polite mushroom say?

“Thank you very mush!”

1. Where do mushrooms hang out on Saturday night?

The salad bar.

1. What happens when the mushroom’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

1. What do you call a giant mushroom?

Hu-fungus.

1. Why did the mushroom have to leave her home?

It was growing toxic by the day.

1. Why couldn’t the mushroom get into the club?

He wasn’t mold enough.

1. When do mushrooms retire?

When they get too mold.

1. How do mushrooms work from home?

They host meetings on Zhroom.

1. What do mama mushrooms sing to their babies?

“Mush little baby, don’t say a word…”

1. Why did the mushroom need time off work?

Because he was fried.

1. How do you ask a mushroom to be quiet?

“Shushhhh-room!”

1. Why are mushrooms so filling?

Because once you’ve eaten them, you don’t have mush-room left in your stomach.

1. Did you hear about the mushroom that had to make a tough choice?

He had a morel dilemma.

1. Why doesn’t the word “mushroom” make a good computer password?

It’s not stroganoff.

Best Mushroom Puns and One-Liners

1. I want to share a joke about fungus, but I don’t have enough shroom to write it down.
2. Eating mushrooms in the morning is the breakfast of champignons.
3. I didn’t always like mushrooms, but they’ve finally started to grow on me.
4. Mushrooms can’t be trusted — they’re notorious for stalk-ing.
5. A mushroom in need says, “Help! I’m in truffle!”
6. I’m spored of your mushroom puns. I thought you were a fun-gi. Got shroom for any new material?
7. Mushroom puns are perfect for any occasion. They’re portabella and can be read on the go.
8. What do you mean you don’t want to hang out? I’m a fun-gi!
9. He may have been a fun-gi, but he sure did have questionable morels.
10. Unfortunately, many mushroom puns are in spore taste.