Mom Pulls Epic MacGyver Move To Get Some Time To Herself

This mom’s hack to break away from her clingy kid is genius

As a mom, you know there’ve been times when you were like, “I would saw my god damn arm off and let the baby use it as a pillow if it meant I got to poop alone.” Well, one mom decided to stop messing around and actually made it happen. Sort of.

She’s the hero we all need right now and you’re going to want to steal her amazing idea.

Maternidarks is an online community of moms based in Chile. The forum gives members a chance tell those parenting stories some might view as, well, dark. Founder Alexa Ramirez tells Scary Mommy the site is a “safe place” to talk about life as a parent without fear of judgment. One mom used it to tell her tale about how she managed to get a little time away from her ultra-clingy toddler. She wants to remain anonymous, but honestly, we would dedicate a national holiday to this bad ass mom if we knew her name.

Because, oh my god.

Her caption reads, “My baby is going through that stage in which when I’m out of his sight, he starts crying, and I need to make lunch! He doesn’t want me to hold him or to play with him, he just NEEDS to know that I’m beside him, he doesn’t even look at me at the eyes, only turns around to check that me (or my leg) is indeed, there.”

Sound familiar?

So, what’s a crafty (and totally desperate) mom to do?

“I find myself in the necessity to fill up a pair of jeans, put my shoes and that was it! I already made lunch and went to the bathroom a couple of times. I studied every detail, if you look carefully, even my “feet” are separated because he sometimes goes between my legs to play.”

She did it. Girl found a glitch in the matrix and discovered a way to get her velcro-like toddler to back off long enough for her to make a damn sandwich, and we’re in total awe. She rigged up a fake half-body version of herself just for the privilege of being able to walk away briefly without setting off Toddlergeddon. Mom level: secret agent.

Let’s be honest, how many times have you tried to leave your kid so you could pee/cook/sweep/close your eyes for one fucking minute only to be thwarted? You back away very slowly, almost out of the room, they’re happily playing until, BAM. You’ve been found out and have to start all over again. Not anymore. Just build yourself a half mannequin of your lower body (or upper, every baby’s different) and you’re good to go.

We give this crafty mom a standing ovation. Now, off to find the materials to make our own mom dummies.