Parenting|

A Mom Friend Who 'Gets You' Is Key To Survival

by Maria Guido
mom friend
ABC

There’s a new show premiering in a couple weeks that many of us will be able to relate to. ABC’s new comedy American Housewife introduces Katie, a down-to-earth mom raising her “imperfect” family in a wealthy, cookie-cutter town filled with “perfect” mommies and their “perfect” offspring. Not all of us live surrounded by wealth, but we certainly know what it feels like to raise kids around a bunch of people who seem to know how to adult a lot better than we do.

It sucks.

My Westport was an expensive neighborhood in Brooklyn. I was a bartender, struggling to raise my first child, surrounded by women with money, organic groceries, expensive playgroups, and $1000 strollers. You know what kept me sane in the sea of moms who were doing it better? A few good mom friends. That’s all it takes, ladies.

We spend so much time prepping for motherhood. We read the books, visit the websites, take advice from any and everyone. But the most essential thing a mom needs for survival? A mom friend. A mom friend who gets you.

A mom friend who gets you is more valuable than a Rolodex full of professionals. Trust me. The perfect mom friend does it all, imperfectly.

She’s a doctor…

Kid have a low-grade fever? Your mom friend is better than any advice nurse, WebMD entry, or Google search. She talks you off the ledge, and saves you from being “that mom” at the pediatrician’s office. You know, the one who comes bursting through the door every time her kid gets a splinter.

She’s a life coach…

No matter what you’re going through, she’s there with the words you need, when you need them. She pushes you to follow those things you call “hobbies” that she really knows are “passions.” She gives you the pep talk you need to get your husband to help out more around the house. She sends you the perfect inspirational memes, that usually involve four-letter words and cynicism. She gets you.

She’s selectively blind…

She comes to your house, and you don’t have to move the giant pile of shoes by the door. Or get the Cinnamon Toast Crunch off the entertainment center. You don’t even have to put on a bra. Hallelujah.

She’s a psychic…

She knows what you’re thinking. Yes, that mom at drop off with the Louis Vuitton bag and full face of makeup is ridiculous. The eyeroll will be perfectly timed.

She’s a cheerleader…

“Who cares if it was only 10 minutes on the elliptical before you went into the steam room? The important thing is, you got to the gym. Good for you!” She knows exactly what to say — at all times.

She’s a stylist…

She knows your favorite scarf is pilled beyond repair. She shows up with a new one, because she knows moms never buy anything for themselves. And she knows you’re already eyeing the new wallet she needs. We would never have anything new if it weren’t for our mom friend.

She’s a nutritionist…

“Magnum ice cream bars have calcium.” “Red wine has been proven to lengthen your life.” “Coffee is good for your brain.” Are these actual medical facts? Probably not. But your friend drops “knowledge” when you need it most.

We’re moms — we’re used to functioning on the bare minimum. We don’t need much, but a good mom friend is essential.