Mom Asks If She’s The A**hole For Asking Husband To Prioritize Her Life In Labor

In a viral Reddit thread, a pregnant mom reveals that she told her husband if pregnancy or childbirth complications were to arise, to save her life over the life of her unborn child

A pregnant mother-of-one recently made a confession on Reddit: that if any pregnancy or childbirth issues were to arise, she made her husband agree that he would save her life over that of their unborn child. Obviously, the internet had major feelings about this hypothetical scenario, and the post has gone viral.

“So my daughter was born 2 years ago, I had a very good pregnancy but develop gestational diabetes at 32 weeks (due to me being overweight I was checking my sugar levels every other day). Due to this my OBGYN schedule a cesarean I didn’t have any issues with this I just wanted my baby to be born safely. So before going in to the hospital I talked with my husband that if something where to happened and he needed to choose between myself and our baby to please choose me. He got quiet but said that he agreed and that please let me mother know about what we talked,” she wrote on the website in a post titled “AITA For telling my husband that if he had to choose between my self and my daughter during birth to choose me?”

Luckily, everything went according to plan and both baby and mama survived.

However, now the woman is trying to get pregnant again. While attending a Christmas party with her girlfriends, the conversation about babies came up. One of her friends asked if she was ready for “another 9 months of pregnancy” and she decided to answer truthfully.

“I said that I do want another baby and that pregnancy doesn’t scare me such as giving birth again. I said that I straight told my husband again that I’m scared that something may happened to me during the birth and in the hopes of giving my daughter a sibling I could leave her without a mother. That the original agreement stands that he needs to choose me if that’s the case,” she continued.

Well, apparently her friends were less than cool about her decision. In fact, they were “disgusted” with her thinking “and said that i was an asshole to my husband in asking him to basically kill his baby (those where the exact words), that I was a very negative person and that I needed to rethink my thoughts,” she wrote. “I’m a person that likes to be prepared for the worse case scenario and hope for the best. I didn’t want my husband to be blindsided with who to choose and to have the answer on the spot. Nobody likes to think in what could go wrong specially in a pregnancy but I need to think every possible case that we could encounter.”

The she posed the question to the world of Reddit: “AITA!?” (Am I the asshole)

Well, the post totally “blew up” with a heated debate. People on both sides had serious opinions, and weren’t shy about sharing them along with their own personal stories. However, an overwhelming amount of commenters declared her “Not the A-hole.”

After the crap-storm of comments, the original poster returned to clarify a few things. First off, English isn’t her first language. Second, the holiday party was at a friend’s house and though they all work together, they talk about everything. “I have yet to talk to them since this happened I didn’t want to create a scene. It did affect me that they think I’m such a negative person but I will talk with them,” she explained.

Also, she felt the need to offer the disclaimer that she was overweight. “People telling me to loose some weight before having another baby, thank you! I didn’t though of that before how enlightening!” she wrote. “Also why do people want to know how much I weight? If you don’t know GD can affect any woman that is not overweight yes you have a better chance to have it but not only overweight woman develop it.”

Mostly, she wanted to emphasize that the main reason she discussed the situation with her husband is because “giving birth is a serious things, [sic] so many things can go wrong in an instant an I wanted to be prepared for it.” She points out that “people don’t like to think about the bad stuff during pregnancy but the risks for the mother are massive, your body goes under so much. It also takes a mental toll on you.”

She concluded her follow-up to the post with some cold hard facts, that everyone going into childbirth should be aware of. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 700 women die in childbirth every year. An additional 50,000 more nearly die, experiencing “severe maternal morbidity,” most often due to complications from severe bleeding.

No matter where you stand on this debate, it certainly is a great reminder that every couple should discuss these potential scenarios ahead of time. There is nothing wrong with being on the same page as your partner when it comes to life-or-death decisions.