When My Mama Bear Kicks In, You Better Watch Out

I used to think I was a badass bitch with a high pain threshold. Once, a neighbor threw a rock at my head and split it wide open. I walked into my house and told my mom I thought my head was bleeding. I was rushed to the ER to get several stitches without a tear. I was pissed at the kid who threw the rock because I couldn’t wash my hair for a week while the stitches heeled. I let him have it on the playground the next day too.

There was the time I walked around for a few days with a roaring case of appendicitis. I thought I had the stomach flu and just because I couldn’t stand up straight, it was no excuse to miss out on some high school fun.

Then I had kids and my inner “Mama Bear” instincts were unleashed. My old toughness had nothing on my new mama-toughness, that’s for damn sure.

One afternoon, our neighbor invited us over for a swim. My son had never been in a pool other than the tiny, blue kiddie pool that held a foot of water. So when we arrived and he was was over the moon about their above-ground pool, how could I say no?

My 7-month pregnant belly pressed up against the side as I lowered him in. My sister was there watching my 1-year-old daughter, so I could focus on my son. I was incredibly anxious, telling myself to calm down, he’d be fine.

As he crept to the middle, it was getting a little deeper, but I was sure it wouldn’t be over his head. I told him to stop and he didn’t — he was yelling, splashing, and so excited he couldn’t control himself. Then, my neighbor warned me it dipped down a little in the middle.

I yelled at my son to stop walking and to stay closer to me. His little mind was reeling and he couldn’t hear me. All of a sudden, the water was touching his earlobes. He lost his footing in a split second and down he went.

I think he was under for about three seconds by the time I got to him. I leapt over the side in my maternity jeans, shoes, and pink polo shirt. I remember his eyes were open under water. He was blowing bubbles, desperately trying to get up.

I grabbed him, and after coughing a bit he smiled at me. He was fine, but I was not. I walked to the side of the pool and couldn’t remember how I got in there. Two men told me I jumped over the side without even touching it before they could get up to help.

Then I stood there because there wasn’t a ladder to get out of the pool, just a small stool to step on outside of it. There was no way in hell I was getting out of there without some help. It took those two men to get me out of the pool I’d just jumped into like a ninja warrior with a belly the size of a yoga ball.

This was my first real experience with what my body was capable of not only as a mother, but as a pregnant mother. I’m here to tell you now, 14 years after that incident, I’m in the best shape of my life and there’s no way I could scale the side of that pool today. Unless one of my kids needed saving, that is.

I needed to get to my baby. My body knew it and did what it needed to get the job done.

There’s nothing that propels a mother’s adrenaline and allows her to do some of the most painful shit of her life like that “Mama Bear” instinct. Apparently I’m not the only one who has felt I could move mountains when it comes to my child:

Amy B., said she had “carpal tunnel so badly from nursing, she ended up having surgery only to go home straight after and continue to bathe, feed, clothe, her child.”

Pain means nothing to a mother when we have a newborn babe to take care of, that’s for sure.

One mom, Kate, recalls falling down the stairs and “doing a full somersault onto tile shielding my child the whole time,” because as soon as you feel yourself falling, your only job is to protect the little nugget in your arms. It doesn’t matter if your break a limb — you are going to cushion your child above all else.

Another mom ripped off her clog and shoved it in a dog’s mouth when it got to close to her baby. “He charged my double stroller with my two babies in it,” said Alexandra R. “The teen walking the dog told me to ‘cool it, man’ and I screamed ‘YOU FUCKING COOL IT.'”

Just wait until that teenager has a kid of their own. They they will realize there’s no way a mother can “cool it” when an animal has an open mouth anywhere near their babies. I’m sure this mom wanted to take the clog from the dog’s mouth and shove it into the owner’s to show them you don’t fuck around when it comes to guarding your kids.

“I once aggressively charged an evil swan that tried to attack my 2-year-old,” Jessica G. told Scary Mommy.

Speaking of birds, I kept chickens for a long time and once had a rooster get very big and mean overnight. One day we got home and piled out of the car and the big cock went after my youngest son who was walking around yard. I ran in between them and kicked him in the chest as hard as I could.

He came running at me again and jumped up, digging his talons into my leg. I kicked him again. This went on a few times until the fucker gave up. My leg was bleeding through my jeans, but my son was safe.

There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our children. And our bodies know how to kick into badass-bitch mode so fast we are left wondering how the hell we did the stunt.

Being a mom is seriously one of the strongest super powers there is. And anyone or anything trying to come between a mother and her baby learn this pretty fucking fast. And of course, there are those times when all is well, and we are still on watch.