Ridiculously High Bids For 'Sleep Doll' Prove How Damn Desperate Parents Are For Sleep

This doll might make your infant sleep, but it might come at a cost

There’s no shortage of products out there to make life with a baby easier and there’s a reason for that; parents are willing to buy them. Having a baby is tough. You lose your identity, your sanity and your clothes are all stained but worst of all, you lose sleep.

And that’s why there are parents ready to shell out over $300. For a doll.

The Lulla doll makes some pretty big promises to parents desperate for sleep. According to Metro UK, the special toy was developed by Icelandic mom and psychologist, Eyrún Eggertsdóttir. Based on co-sleeping research, the doll was designed to make sounds mimicking a parent’s heartbeat and breathing noises, which will supposedly cause your wee one to drift off.

As far as those promises, the Lulla purports to help babies fall asleep sooner and sleep longer while stabilizing their heartbeat and breathing. The doll’s proximity also increases neurological development and general well-being with less stress and crying for the baby.

That all sounds well and good. Well, like, really well and good, apparently. Because the doll is almost impossible to find with bids on one eBay listing currently past $300. It retails for around $99 through most online sellers. Oh, and it sounds like Darth Vader, according to one distributor who spoke to The Telegraph about the doll’s popularity. Indeed, mom Rebecca Ilie says, “I actually found the sound quite terrifying, like something out of Exorcist. It’s quite loud and I can hear it from outside the bedroom, but it works.”

Kids are pretty creepy. I guess it makes sense that the sounds of evil are soothing to teeny, sleep-destroying demons.

Sure, $300 for a doll might sound completely crazy-cakes, unless you’re the proud owner of a non-sleeper. I had one such baby and it nearly drove me to the brink of insanity. It was well past his first birthday before he would sleep for more than a few hours at a time, and even that was only while he was docked at my boob and sleeping in my bed. If someone told me all that stood between me and a halfway decent night’s sleep was $300, I would have pounced on it faster than I grab my wine when the clock strikes 5.

If this all sounds good to you, the doll is available for pre-order on the creator’s website for only $71 with shipments set to go out in August. Good luck.