What It Means To Be A Scary Mommy Now

Ever since I became a mom for the first time — way back in the dark ages of 2013 — I’ve been a gigantic fan of Scary Mommy. I remember lying on my couch during my first maternity leave watching Married to Jonas and Newlyweds: The First Year (don’t @ me) with my newborn son on my chest, scrolling through Facebook and howling at everything the site posted.

I recognized then, as I do now, the mom we’re speaking to: the friend who’s snarky and has a call-it-like-she-sees-it approach to life. The site has always highlighted stories and experiences of moms who are unafraid to do the work, who are honest even (and especially) when it hurts, who are passionate not only about their own kids but about your kids, too. And I’ve loved Scary Mommy for helping me realize things that I hadn’t been brave enough to realize on my own.

It’s no secret that moms have had it the worst since the pandemic began over two years ago. We’ve been at our breaking points time and time again and yet told to carry on, without much meaningful support to speak of from our employers or government. We’ve yelled — hell, we’ve primal screamed — for help and been offered little in return except “you’re doing great, sweetie.”

So it’s through that lens — the months-past-the-breaking-point, where-do-we-even-go-from-here lens — that Scary Mommy takes a moment to begin anew. You’ll see a warmer, more modern-looking site than you’re used to, but we’re still the same girl underneath the new veneer. With this new Scary Mommy, I promise to help bring you not only those biting, truthful first-person accounts of motherhood, sex and relationships, and mental health and well-being (and much more), but also stories about things you care about not just as moms but as women (*gasp*) of a certain age.

I’ve been thinking a lot about those yard signs that have popped up over the past five years. You know the ones: “In this house, we believe…” At best, it serves as a family mission statement; at worst, it’s about neighbors trying to out-woke each other. But let’s take it at face value for a second: It’s an easy way to show what you stand for. So I thought I’d share what we here at Scary Mommy believe.

We believe, first and foremost, in the undeniable effect of having a good laugh.

We believe in not taking anything too seriously.

We believe in a woman’s right to create her own motherhood journey, no matter if or how it comes to be.

We believe motherhood is the hardest unpaid job out there.

We believe in the importance of community.

These are weird times. Two years in and I still don’t know what to make of — *shakes hands wildly through the air* — all this. So while we don’t know where, exactly, we go from here, I do know this: Even with our new look, this will continue to be a place for you.

When I got this job as the Editor-in-Chief, my younger son, who is in kindergarten, said — completely unprompted, promise — “you’re a scary mommy now, mommy.”

Damn right I am, but I already was.

Kate is the Editor-in-Chief at Scary Mommy, helping to bring the stories you know and love to you daily. Before joining BDG, Kate spent 11 years at HuffPost, most recently serving as the Senior Editor for Parenting and Culture, overseeing all parenting and streaming coverage. She has also worked at WSJ. Magazine, House & Garden and InStyle. She’s a native New Yorker and a graduate of Davidson College. She’s the mom of two delightfully rambunctious boys, whom she shares with her husband. They don’t have pets yet, but it’s likely in their future.