Do Yourself a Favor, Folks, And Marry Someone Funny

My husband and I met in college. I was sitting in my freshman dorm room, elbow-deep in studying for finals, when this guy in a red hat jumped into my doorway and sprayed me with a super soaker. MY super soaker. He laughed and ran away when he saw the look on my face. And while I don’t remember being super impressed in that moment, he must have done something right because it’s been over twenty years, and I still sorta like him.

One particular day, early on in our relationship, I got ticked off at him. For what, I’m not even sure now. Probably he’d sprayed another girl with a super soaker.

He was walking me back to my dorm room and I was doing my best to ignore that he even existed. I can still see my bratty little self, hands shoved in my winter coat pockets, nose in the air, walking ten feet in front of him.

That’s when he started running.

He ran straight out in front of me and, in the most dramatic movement ever, pretended to trip over something on the sidewalk and fell into a huge pile of snow.

It was ridiculous. And hilarious. I cracked up and forgot about whatever I had been so mad about before. He had just shown me his greatest talent — breaking tension with humor.

At the airport the other day, there was an older woman in a wheelchair who was complaining to the flight attendant that she had been waiting for a long time to board. The flight attendant gave her some rote answer and the woman became even more frustrated. So my husband leaned over to the older woman and said, “You want me to give you a piggy-back ride?” The woman started laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face.

My husband is a total goofball and I’ve never regretted that I chose someone like that to spend my life with. I’m sometimes very embarrassed when I’m out in public with him, but I’m always — always — laughing.

Life can be serious enough. Why not spend it with someone who has an innate ability to find humor in the most absurd instances?

The funny guy will show you that life is meant to be enjoyed, not bogged down with worry at every turn.

The funny guy will not let you take yourself too seriously.

The funny guy will be the one you turn to when you’re scared or frustrated or sad. He will make you smile, even when you’re pretty sure you aren’t capable.

The funny guy will shoot you with super soakers. He will jump into snowbanks for your entire relationship, often with only his underwear on. He will snap you playfully with towels and jump out and scare the shit out of you. Try not to kill him.

The funny guy has so many good ideas. He has more ideas than you have energy. You can sleep later.

The funny guy, unlike his portrayal in movies, can be serious and sensitive and steady when he needs to be too. He knows life isn’t always fun and games.

The funny guy is the greatest of dads. He will play and roughhouse and dress up in goofy costumes and your children will think he hung the stars in the sky.

The funny guy is usually a really good guy. He lives his life to see you happy. Your children happy. Even random old ladies in the airport.

You’ll never regret marrying the funny guy. Of course, your life will still be filled with ups and downs but, if you choose the funny guy, at least you’ll be laughing your ass off the whole way through.

The other day, I watched my 11-year-old son after school. He was standing in the middle of a bunch of girls. He was talking in silly voices and scrunching his face up into all sorts of configurations. He then pretended to run into the flag pole and fell down. The girls laughed and laughed, and I could tell my son was thrilled with this reaction. I groaned inwardly.

But I also smiled. Another funny guy had just been created.