If You Don’t Like My Dog, We’re Not Dating

I was dating a guy for a few weeks, and I ended it abruptly because he didn't like my dog.

Let me explain. He didn’t come right out and say, “I don’t like your dog.” Instead, we had a fundamental disagreement on how you should treat animals. And I couldn’t let go of how he treated my dog in particular. When I confronted him about it, he told me I was being ridiculous. But I wasn’t, and I feel completely confident in my decision.

He seemed to like my dog when he first met him. He had a puppy and they played together. Like most dogs, my dog got excited and would bark when they played.

This guy pointed out that his dog didn’t bark, so why did mine? He got annoyed at my dog and suggested I train him with a shock collar because that’s what he did with his dog. I was pissed. Like really pissed, but also, who does that? There is no way I will shock my dog into obedience.

His reaction was a red flag. We obviously have very different ideas about how to treat animals. But it took me watching him push my dog away from him to end the relationship for good. Literally — he shoved him away when my dog was just trying to get a little love.

Don’t shove my dog just because he’s asking for attention. Pet him.

And that’s when I decided: If you don’t like my dog, we’re not dating. Do I think my dog is the best, most well-behaved dog in the world? No, I don’t. But if you don’t care for my dog, that means you don’t really love all dogs, and I really question your character as a human being. There, I said what I said.

My dog came to me at a time when I needed him most. He’s loyal, loves me unconditionally, and there have been stretches of time when snuggling with him has been the only affection I’ve had. He protects me and makes me incredibly happy.

Can you be annoyed with my dog? Sure. Can you tell him you can’t give him love right now? Absolutely. Can you ask me to do something with my dog so you can get some work done, go to the bathroom, or we can be intimate without an animal in the room? Of course.

But you can’t not like him. That’s not allowed.

Like my kids, my dog is part of the package. If I stay the night somewhere, he needs to come. If someone is spending time at my house, he’ll be here. If we go away, I need to make arrangements for him to stay with a friend or family member. These are non-negotiables if you want to date me.

No, my dog won’t be here forever. He’s almost eight years old, and I’m well aware that my time with him is limited. But after he goes, there will be another dog. Then another one after that. So if you don’t like this dog because he doesn’t behave exactly how you feel he should, I’m pretty sure you won’t enjoy my future dogs. And well, that’s just not going to work for me.

For a split second I wondered if I was being too harsh when I broke things off with that guy, but then I called a friend and said, “He doesn’t like my dog.”

You know what she said? “Dump him. Dogs come first.” I’ve never felt so seen, and I haven’t given my decision a second thought since.