75 Funny New Year Quotes For Literally Any Mood

This is officially the year we say, “Thanks, but no thanks, 2024!” Just because we’re faced with another potential garbage fire year looming doesn’t mean we can’t have a fun New Year’s Eve, though. As a matter of fact, doesn’t that seem like all the more reason to celebrate (safely)? We can only hope 2025 will be happier and healthier, right? Right? Bueller?

If you’re forcing yourself to be optimistic about next year, you’re not alone. If you’re genuinely optimistic, good on you! Share some of that energy with your more cynical friends. This is the New Year’s Eve we’ve waited, well, at least nine months for. So, let’s find a way to put our best foot forward. Whether your NYE plans are filled with glitter, streamers, and your loved ones, a night of Netflix and chill, or gazing up at the stars in existential angst, you’ll probably take time to acknowledge the new beginning on social media.

Snap a picture and feel free to use any of these funny New Year’s quotes and sayings for your captions. We’ve got a little something for everyone… no matter how optimistic or pessimistic they are about our future.

New Year’s Eve Captions for the (Cautiously) Optimistic

1. 8 p.m. is the new midnight!
2. My resolution: Stop procrastinating. But, ya know, it’s a holiday. I’ll start next week.
3. Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky ones who still get to meet us.
4. Wishing you a year full of success — unless it’s my turn to win.
5. Any excuse to wear sequins!
6. But first, champagne.
7. It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.
8. Happy New Year! May your wallet be as full as your online shopping cart.
9. No wishing. No hoping. This year, I’m just “doing.”
10. All that glitters is… probably part of my outfit.
11. New year, same me.
12. Have a sparkling new year!
13. Devote this year to loving yourself.
14. Before I get drunk and naked, happy New Year, bitches!
15. “May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.” — Joey Adams
16. New year. Who dis?
17. Headed into the new year like…
18. Don’t expect any New Year’s changes from me — I look forward to being the same sassy, classy, and a little smart-assy delight you love.
19. Ah, I love this little window of time when I can still believe next year will be better than the last.
20. Hats on. Masks on. Party’s on. 2025, let’s do this!
21. I can’t wait to ctrl-alt-del 2024 and start over.
22. Here’s to another year... of pretending to know what we’re doing.
23. Cheers to remembering to write 2025 instead of 2024 by, like, April.
24. On the bright side, we never got used to writing 2024 on things, so 2025 should come easier.
25. If you’re 30 & up, don’t forget to take a nap on New Year’s Eve so you can make it to midnight!

New Year’s Quotes and Captions for the Realist

1. Welcome, 2025! Here’s hoping you can’t be worse than last year.
2. Seriously? We saw how 2024 went. Do we really want to do this again?
3. Happy 2025! Spoiler Alert: Groceries are still expensive AF.
4. Whatever you do, don’t ask what’s next!
5. I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room on New Year’s Eve. I might not even go.
6. I’m tired of people-ing. Can we bring back social distancing for 2025?
7. Here’s hoping 2025 figures out which Zoom meetings could have been emails!
8. After 2024, my 2025 expectations are lowering faster than the ball in Times Square.
9. A wish for 2025: May the dumpster fire belong to someone else.
10. Pop, clink, fizz! (That’s Alka Seltzer, not champagne. #thanks2024)
11. “Every New Year’s, I have the same question: ‘How do I get home?'”
12. So excited for you guys to ruin another 365 days of your life. Happy New Year.
13. May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. Best of luck with the New Year, dear.
14. May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pain. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.
15. New years are like pages in a book that’s so boring. You always think that the next page will be interesting, but it turns out to be the same every time. Happy New Year!
16. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
17. I refuse to reminisce about the past year unless it’s in a “best of” format.
18. Almost time for that “new year, new me” bullsh*t.
19. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
20. In 2025, kindness is going to be my go-to... but f*ck off will be my wingman.
21. Here’s to pretending that anything changes when the year does!
22. Welp, I’m tired. I’m calling it a year!
23. All I want for the New Year is a nap.
24. Dear New Year’s resolutions, it was fun while it lasted.
25. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.

New Year’s Quotes from Famous People

1. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot
2. “Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughan
3. “You’ll never get bored when you try something new. There’s really no limit to what you can do.” — Dr. Seuss
4. “To the old, long life and treasure; to the young, all health and pleasure.” — Ben Jonson
5. “Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes next year and forever.” — Neil Gaiman
6. “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'” — Alfred Lord Tennyson
7. “You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” — Charlie Brown
8. “An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” — Bill Vaughn
9. “First, you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” — Prince
10. “New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week, you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” — Billy Crystal
11. “‘Out with the old, in with the new’ is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.” — Andy Borowitz
12. “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” — Oprah Winfrey
13. “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” — Oscar Wilde
14. “May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue so that I triumph even when I fall.” — Aleister Crowley
15. “This New Year’s, I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until Jan. 2.” — Melanie White
16. “I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.” — David Bowie
17. “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” — Micheal Altshuler
18. “You can get excited about the future. The past won’t mind.” — Hillary DePiano
19. “I would quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.” — Unknown
20. “So tonight I’m going to party like it’s 1999.” — Prince
21. “I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.” — Henry Moore
22. “Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.” — Barbara Walters
23. “Tonight’s Dec. 31, something is about to burst... Hark, it’s midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!” — Ogden Nash
24. “I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.” — Robert Paul
25. “My New Year’s is a harmless annual institution of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.” — Mark Twain