he gets it

You Need To Hear This Husband Affirm His Wife & Dismantle Patriarchal Standards Of Beauty

This is what we call an “evolved man.”

by Katie Garrity
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
This husband and girl dad is calling  B.S. on the patriarchal beauty standards that women are inunda...
@chrissyjpowers / TikTok

You don’t need to tell a woman about the unfair beauty standards that come with being female in a patriarchal world. Women aren’t allowed to be certain sizes without ridicule. We can’t age without being judged. And after a certain age, it feels like we disappear altogether. There are just different standard for men and women when it comes to beauty and appearances.

One husband that actually sees this viewpoint through the eyes of a frustrated woman gave his wife a pep talk about beauty while also calling B.S. on the patriarchal beauty standards that women are inundated with since we were young, and people can’t stop watching it.

Chrissy Powers filmed her husband as the two sat outside, seemingly in the middle of a conversation about beauty, aging, and the double standards that come with being a woman.

She asks him to repeat something “brilliant” he had just said to her.

Powers says, “I just looked at a picture of ... Jennifer Lopez. And I said, ‘How does she look that good at 50 something?’ And you said ...”

Her husband interjects and said, “I said she spends millions of dollars on herself to look like that ... That's the problem with patriarchal culture. The patriarchal culture tells women that if they don't look like a celebrity, their value is, like, nothing.”

He references something that comedian Bill Burr said one time about how when men go to the movies and see Brad Pitt, fit and handsome on the screen, men don’t feel the pressure to look like him.

“We know we can't, so we just accept it. We are just us,” he says.

“It’s more acceptable for you to accept it though,” Powers replies.

“That's the patriarchal culture!” her husband responds.

Powers then says, “If we see women getting old, then we say, ‘She let herself go.’”

Powers’ husband goes on to vent about how the beauty supply market targets that exact vulnerable thought that so many women worry about receiving, pumping “anti-aging” product ads into their social media feeds and TV screens.

“The idea that a woman is only valuable when they're between the ages of 18 and 25. That's ridiculous,” he says.

“I’m more valuable now, right?” Powers asks.

He confirms with an exasperated, “Yes!”

“Listen, women have to stop believing the lies that the patriarchal culture machine tells them that their value is only because they look young. It's ridiculous,” he says to his wife.

He declares that there is nothing wrong with aging. It’s an inevitability. Instead, he blames the patriarchy, advertising, and capitalism for conditioning women into “feeding the machine all of your money to try to look younger, try to be fitter ...”

When his wife asks him if he thinks she’s hotter now than when he met her. He then responds with a thoughtful and warm approach, complimenting her in such a unique and gentle way.

“Oh, 100%. Oh, God, you're so much more beautiful. I mean, you were hot then. You have, there is a wholeness to your beauty now because it comes with wisdom,” he tells her. “It comes with inner knowing. It comes with doing the work that is required to you to this point. Because if you're not growing, you're stuck. So you're doing the beautiful work of the change, the lasting change of moving forward which is wisdom.”

Can we clone this person and ship him worldwide?

After the TikTok video was seen by over 200k users, comments flooded in, praising Power’s husband while offering their own frustrations with the patriarchy and unfair beauty double standards.

One user wrote, “Dad bod vs mom bod. Mom bod isn’t accepted even though we created the child. It’s exhausting”

Another said, “When you said ‘there is a wholeness to your beauty now...’ tears came. Women aren't told this enough if at all. So, we learn to tell ourselves. thank you”

Someone else pointed out the wonderful fact that this man is speaking these progressive truths with confidence within earshot of his daughter.

“The daughter in the background is absorbing her Dads words and internalizing in a most wonderful way. This will help her so much 🥰,” they wrote.

Thoughtout our lives, we learn that older men like this are often part of the problem — they are the ones placing value on women’s appearances and dismissing everything else. But this guy is giving a whole lot of people hope that men understand the patriarchy, too, and they don’t like it either.

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