Lifestyle

Kevin Spacey, You Can F*ck Off And Crawl Back Into Your Closet Now

by Amber Leventry
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
Frazer Harrison/BAFTA LA / Getty Images

In a never-ending list of names, another brave and tired soul publicly announced his sexual assault. Anthony Rapp named Kevin Spacey as his predator, telling BuzzFeed the name he didn’t mention in a 2001 interview with The Advocate when he had said, “He came to the bedroom and he picked me up and lay down on top of me.” The “he” was a 26-year-old Spacey to a 14-year-old Rapp. Rapp said he felt empowered by the many women who have spoken up to take down Harvey Weinstein, another Hollywood star made famous by the people, specifically women, he hurt.

Spacey was quick to apologize to Rapp on his Twitter account, even though he claims he “didn’t remember” what he describes would have been “deeply inappropriate drunken behavior.” Bullshit. Obviously.

Spacey was also quick to create a distraction by saying he was “encouraged” by Rapp’s story to talk about his personal life and proceeded to come out of a poorly constructed closet.

Yes, you read that right. This 58-year-old grown-ass man felt “encouraged” by accusations of child molestation. So encouraged, that he decided to go ahead and make his sexuality public in the midst of the chaos.

Anthony Rapp: I see you. I hear you. I believe you.

I was also assaulted as a child. My predator was also someone of the same gender. And as Rapp once described himself, I am also queer. When #MeToo was trending, I didn’t feel included for this reason. As if having a woman as an abuser wasn’t victimizing enough. Or since I’m gay, I somehow enjoyed the abuse. (Wrong, wrong, wrong.) I thank Rapp for adding his voice and story to this dialogue. Because sadly, us too, and we deserve to be heard.

Kevin Spacey can fuck off. He violated a child. End scene.

He does not get to blame alcohol. He does not get to blame poor memory. He does not get to hide behind rich Hollywood curtains when it is convenient for his career and wallet and then tap dance his way into the public eye as a gay man when “encouraged” by his victim’s story in order to distract us from the crime.

No. He has taken advantage of too much already. Kevin Spacey is canceled.

He doesn’t get to violate a child and then create a smoke screen like this. He does not get to stomp on my self-acceptance and proud sexuality by using it to his advantage.

Enough.

First of all, and I hate that I even need to write this, BEING GAY DOES NOT MAKE YOU A PREDATOR. Yet, thanks to Spacey and his attempts to save face, the timing of his coming-out tour will lead people to imply that his heinous acts are based on his sexuality. The people who believe members of the LGBTQ community are perverts and pedophiles will now point to this case as their proof that I, and all queer people, will harm your children.

Thanks a fucking lot, Spacey.

Second of all, this is not how coming out works. I hope Spacey isn’t expecting a Pride Parade or a crisp rainbow flag for his office because he hasn’t earned either. I am truly sorry if he ever felt afraid of losing everything he loved because of being gay. I know that feeling. I have lived that feeling. I overcame that feeling. I considered suicide. I cried tears of shame and self-hatred.

I was terrified of being outed. But I choked on words, and with a shaky but honest voice, I came out. Without hurting anyone else and no longer hurting myself, I claimed my sexuality. I am gay. I am queer. I am proud.

It’s a kick in the teeth to see Hollywood celebrated for occasionally making a movie with the portrayal of a gay man like it was for Moonlight, yet I hear so many rumors of actual LGBTQ actors who will never be celebrated for being who they are.

It’s a shame that society makes us feel like we can’t be bisexual or gay or transgender unless we are willing to risk it all. It’s a shame that because of this Spacey chose fame, fortune, and lead roles over living his truth. As if that shallow risk is greater than the risk of losing family and friends that I and so many take every day.

In terms of being gay, you do not get to claim me too, Kevin Spacey. You could have helped so many in the LGBTQ community by representing us as an out and proud gay man, but you chose to be self-serving. I am not going to allow you to continue to be self-serving by taking away a victim’s voice. You don’t get to silence Anthony Rapp with your publicity stunt. I will not let you contaminate my voice and the voices of the LGBTQ community in this manner. We have worked too long and fought way too hard (and we are still fighting every day) to have our queerness be associated with the sexuality you are using as a scapegoat for your predatory behaviors.

So, for the first time ever, I have to say: You can crawl back into your closet now, Kevin Spacey. Because, fuck you.

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