The Duchess Is All Of Us: Kate Responds To 2-Year-Old’s Tantrum Like A Boss

Duchess Kate handles tantrums like a total pro

There’s a lot about Kate Middleton’s life as the Duchess of Cambridge that sets her apart from us mere mortals — the hats alone put her on a whole different level. But one aspect of her life that none of us envy is having to be the featured guest at public events while carting around a two-year-old. We got another glimpse of that special hell and Middleton’s A+ tantrum-defusing skills today at an airport in Germany.

The royal family has been on a trip visiting Poland and Germany for the past five days. Before boarding their private plane back to London, they were given a tour of the Airbus training facilities at the Hamburg airport, including a chance to check out a helicopter. We’re sure that Middleton, like any mother traveling with a two-year-old and (almost!) four-year-old, was thrilled with the opportunity to do one more goddamn thing before they could get on their quiet, private plane and get the heck out of dodge. But she’s a Duchess, and was graceful about it in her very Duchess-y way.

Princess Charlotte, however, had lost all of her chill.

The problem, you see, is that Charlotte was given some papers from her Dad’s folder to hold on to, and Middleton tried to take them back. (Every parent of a two-year-old gasps in horror.) If there’s one thing a two-year-old hates, it’s having something taken out of their hands that they would very much like to have in their hands, be it a sheet of paper, your favorite sunglasses, or a half-eaten hot dog they found on the ground at the park. Whatever it is, it’s now theirs, and woe unto the person who tries to take it away.

In this circumstance, that person was Middleton.

Now, the Duchess has proven in the past that she’s no slouch when it comes to getting her kids to straighten up in public (remember “The Look”?) and she didn’t disappoint here either, despite the Category Three Shitstorm that was threatening to erupt at her feet.

When the papers are finally pried from Charlotte’s tiny, angry fingers, she goes immediately into The Flashdance — that move where kids seem to run in place in rage.

Once The Flashdance is deployed, parents have mere moments to avoid a total meltdown. Middleton goes right into the eye-level crouch and points in the direction of the cameras, which we think either means a) “Are you going to embarrass yourself in front of all these cameras and by you I mean me?” Or b) “Our plane is that way. There’s probably ice cream on the plane. And possibly a pony. Let’s go check it out.”

Whatever it is, Charlotte looks over while still standing on her tantrum toes and falls rather delicately (as princesses do) onto her butt. That’s when Middleton decides to call it and scoops her up, which is the universal “We don’t have to go home but we can’t stay here and argue about paper” mom move.

And guess what? Charlotte calms down. Why? Because Kate Middleton is a rock star. And because Princess Charlotte will soon be on a private plane, eating ice cream and sitting on the back of her very own pony.

The things we have to do for kids, huh?