Moms Tell Jimmy Kimmel What They Want For Mothers Day, It's Not Macaroni Necklaces

Jimmy Kimmel helps moms keep it real about what they really want for Mother’s Day

When it comes to giving their moms gifts, our kids get off easy. There are no standards there. Children are the reason the phrase “it’s the thought that counts” was coined.

They’re not expected to buy anything, because the lazy ingrates don’t have jobs! If they do have money, it’s only because we gave it to them, and no gift is more meaningless than one you paid for yourself. That’s not even a gift!

They’re not expected to craft anything useful, because they’re kids, and kids don’t do useful things. Also, it’s no longer the 70s, I’m pretty sure Mom doesn’t need a ceramic ashtray. She totally loves it though, honey, in all its utter uselessness! Great job!

Seriously, it hardly matters how ugly or useless or crappy whatever the kids gift her is, Mom is gonna love it no matter what. Go look at your refrigerator right now. If it’s anything like mine, it’s littered with “artwork” the world’s worst artist would scoff at. I mean, even Hitler would laugh, and he was TERRIBLE. But it doesn’t matter! Your kids made it! It’s precious! She’s going to pin it on the fridge for the world to see. Because she’s a mom. That’s what they do.

Whether she loves it or not, she’s going to tell the kids she does. But what she tells Jimmy Kimmel is a different story.

In a hilarious video, the jokester host asked moms what they really think about that shapeless thing Junior made in art class. And then he got them to explain what they actually want for Mother’s Day. Based on what I know about my wife, it’s pretty dead-on. Even the Ben Affleck part. (My wife has a crush on Ben Affleck. It’s why she married me: NEXT BEST THING!)

The women in the video joke about the junk their kids give them for Mother’s Day, and then proclaim, without mincing words, that what they really want this Sunday is to hang out with their friends and get blasted on mimosas. And maybe talk about Batman’s prodigious genitalia? If that’s the stuff my wife wants to chat about, I’ll gladly take the kids. OUT OF THE STATE!

My wife is one of those crazy women who actually likes to spend Mother’s Day with her kids, at least until it’s 10AM and she starts wishing she just didn’t have kids. But the drinking and the friends and the drinking and the leave me alone and the drinking? That definitely applies to her, and probably many other moms.

Obviously, Jimmy and the moms in the video are poking fun at Mother’s Day, their lives, and their kids. How can you not treasure the special stuff they make with their tiny hands? We all love that crap. But if my son brings my wife some lump ceramic receptacle? You better believe she’s going to drink champagne out of it. And that’s fine. It is her day after all.

Happy Mother’s Day!