My Husband And I Grope Each Other In Front Of Our Kids, And Here’s Why

My husband and I grope each other constantly. I don’t think a day goes by without at least one of us copping a feel. I say this proudly because after almost 20 years of being together, we are still hot for each other. And I don’t see any reason to hide this from our kids.

Let’s be honest, keeping up with intimacy once you add kids to a marriage gets extremely challenging. You don’t have near the time or energy you used to have to focus on your spouse. And that can often mean that your sex life slowly dwindles down to nothing. So my husband and I will do just about anything to tend to the remaining embers of our childless sex life.

Yes, we hug each other for no reason, share lingering kisses in passing and cuddle up on the couch. But we also grab each other’s butts, purposely rub our bodies against each other, and cop a feel on various body parts. Although, the cop a feel part we usually do behind a counter, in the pantry or when we think the kids aren’t looking.

We aren’t tonguing each other down and grinding in front of our kids. It’s almost always super casual and all in fun. It happens in the midst of mundane, everyday tasks like doing the dishes, folding laundry or making a meal. I mean, can you blame me for wanting to grope my husband when he is in the middle of washing dishes?!?!

We see groping each other as showing our love and affection in a quick, fun way. It’s like little snacks throughout the day to keep us looking forward to the meal to come behind closed doors. And no, we don’t have sex every night, so get your mind out of the gutter.

Now, based on a quick google search I did of married couples and groping, it seems I may be in the minority when it comes to liking my husband groping me and returning the favor. I will admit the word in and of itself is not the sexiest sounding word. And granted, groping is not the most romantic way to get in the mood. So, I get it if groping is not your cup of tea.

What works for my marriage may not work for your marriage. PDA might make you really uncomfortable. Or the idea of your spouse groping your behind might be a total turn off. But I can bet that every person in a relationship wants some form of physical affection from their partner.

The way I see it, it’s a good thing that after 20 years, four kids, and lots of ups and downs, we can’t keep our hands off of each other. A little butt grabbing can go a long way in a marriage. It reminds me that my husband still thinks I am hot and still wants me. The day my husband stops is the day I start to worry that something is wrong.

We also bicker and fuss at each other in front of our kids over normal marriage things. They need to see that your partner can be your favorite person and still annoy the crap out of you. And you can fuss one minute and want to kiss each other the next. That is what real every day love is really like.

I don’t want my kids to confuse the unrealistic grandiose romantic gestures they see in movies and TV with real life. That doesn’t mean there is zero romance going on. That just means that the majority of marriage is raising kids, working, keeping a house running, washing and folding clothes, cooking meals … and sometimes a grope here and there is how you let your spouse know you still see them and want them.

I want my kids to see the ups and downs of a healthy relationship. There aren’t many grand romantic gestures happening over here. Just everyday little moments that add up to a happy marriage. So I don’t hesitate to grab my husband’s ass even when my kids can see me doing it.

My kids rolling their eyes and yelling “ewwwww” brings me pure delight. I know they do it all in fun. And my husband and I never fail to point out how lucky they are to have parents that actually enjoy each other.

The way I see it, we are being the example of what we want for our kids. My husband and I are the barometer from which our kids will develop their future attitudes about sex and intimacy. I don’t want my kids to feel shame around physically expressing their attraction to their partner. I want my kids to see that there are multiple ways to be intimate in a relationship and it’s not always something that happens behind closed doors.

Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t tonguing each other down or feeling each other up. We do have boundaries. But I see nothing wrong with my kids seeing us getting handsy with each other just as I see nothing wrong with them seeing us have respectful disagreements. It’s so very important that they see all sides of our relationship.

Whether you agree with groping your spouse in front of your kids or not, I think we can agree that parents should be mindful of the relationship example they set for their children. Children deserve to be in a home where their parents exhibit love and affection towards each other. And every relationship will have its own version of what that looks like. So don’t judge me for groping my husband and I won’t judge you.