70 Happy Birthday Puns And Jokes For Every Relationship In Your Life

Birthdays are absolutely thrilling when you’re seven. They become a little less fun, though, as you get older. As the birthday girl (or boy), you’re confronted with how terribly old you are “suddenly.” As someone celebrating that person, you’re tasked with finding the perfect message to write inside your card. So, what do you write in a birthday card for your partner, your dad or your work bestie? All of these happy birthday puns and jokes make excellent filler. Find the one that best suits your relationship or the personality of the recipient. We won’t tell them you stole your words from the internet.

Super Pun-ny Birthday Jokes

1. Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!

2. What did one candle say to the other?

“Don’t birthdays just burn you up?”

3. Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes?

Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

4. Wine improves with age and you improve with wine.

5. This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?

6. Growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional.

7. Did you hear about the big birthday candle sale?

It was a big blowout!

8. Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!

9. I know birthdays get worse as you get older.

But look at the bright side — not too many left now.

10. You’re not old! You’re aged to perfection.

11. Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.

12. Why do candles love birthdays so much?

They just wanna get lit!

13. More candles means a bigger wish!

14. Forget about the past, you can’t change it.

Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

15. Birthday boy/girl, nothing holds a candle to you.

More Birthday Puns And Jokes

16. What type of music is scary for birthday balloons?

Pop music!

17. What goes up but never comes down?

Your age!

18. Just tell everyone you’re not old, you’re a classic.

19. I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!

20. There’s nothing better than presents from friends and family on your birthday, unless it’s the presence of friends and family on your birthday.

21. They say everything gets better with age.

22. Why are you always warmest on your birthday?

People won’t stop toasting you!

23. Congrats! You’re one candle closer to starting a house fire.

24. You’re not 50 years old, you are 20 years old with 30 years of experience!

25. Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.

26. Why don’t owls exchange birthday gifts?

They don’t give a hoot!

27. What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday?

Happy birthday to ewe!

28. Why did the pirate say on his birthday?

Arrrg! Aye, Matey!

29. Did you hear about the birthday boy who swung his bat 100 times before finally hitting the piñata?

He really busted his ass!

30. Presents?

I thought you meant you wanted my presence.

Keep Going… More Happy Birthday Puns Ahead

31. You know you’re getting old when there’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

32. How can you tell you’re really getting old?

Your candles cost more than the cake.

33. Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle?

No. They both burn shorter.

34. What did the teddy bear say after he blew out his candles?

No cake for me. I’m already stuffed.

35. What does one ice cream say to the other on their birthday?

Congrats! It’s sherbert day!

36. When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When you slice it.

37. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

They relish them.

38. You know what they say: Life is what you bake it.

39. What does an elephant want for its birthday?

A trunk full of gifts.

40. What’s the hunter want for his birthday?

A pheasant

41. How do raccoons celebrate their birthdays?

They get trashed.

42. Did you hear about the tree crying at his birthday party?

It got a little sappy.

Even More Birthday Puns For Wishing Happy Birthday

43. Have a toad-ally awesome birthday.

44. Have a pawsome birthday.

45. You’re old, but you donut look it. Happy birthday!

46. Oh ship, it’s your birthday.

47. Have a tea-rrific day.

48. Have an otterly awesome birthday.

49. Heard you reese-ently had a birthday. Hope it was great!

50. Hap’bee birthday.

51. Happy bird-day.

52. You’re old, but I do not carrot all.

53. Happy purr-thday.

54. Hope your birthday is one in a melon.

55. Have a soup-erb day.

56. Miso happy it’s your birthday.

57. I’m raisin a toast for your birthday.

58. You’re pretty dino-mite. Happy birthday!

59. Have an egg-cellent birthday.

60. You feta have a gouda birthday.

61. It’s your birthday — Be a little shellfish.

62. Have a crab-u-lous day!

63. I donut know what I would do without you. Happy birthday.

64. Happy birthday best tea.

65. Hope you are having a turtley awesome birthday.

66. Sending you s’more birthday wishes.

67. Have a grate birthday in the cheesiest way possible.

68. What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once.

69. What’s a monster’s favorite part of a birthday party? I-scream!

70. What do you get every birthday no matter what? Older.

Hilarious Quotes About Birthdays

“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope

“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” — Bette Midler

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schulz

“Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” — Nicky Gumbel

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” — Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H. Prochnow

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain