Parenting

Searching For Some Laughs? Scroll Through These 50 Hilarious Google Jokes

by Team Scary Mommy
Family laughing — Google jokes
Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

You know a company or brand is successful when their name becomes the generic term for its product — think Kleenex, Xerox, Jell-O, and yes, Google. It’s strange to think that a company founded in 1998 could be involved in so many aspects of our lives, both on and off the computer. Planning some travel and need to know how to get somewhere? Try Google Maps. Trying to get in touch with someone? There’s Gmail, Google Voice, Gchat; take your pick! Want to turn the lights off in the next room or hear a playlist of camp songs for your kids? Just ask Google Home. You can even ask it to zing you some funny one-liners. Although, if you’re a self-proclaimed nerd or have a teen who enjoys tech-y puns, you might prefer reading Google jokes — as in, yes, jokes created about the search engine. After all, when you think about it, “Google” itself is kind of a silly word (even though it seems normal now that we’re constantly referencing and using its products).

Listen, you don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying a laugh at Google’s expense, either. The company is known for its sense of humor! Their April Fool’s jokes and pranks are the stuff of legends. So, are you ready for some side-splitting content about the search engine? The following Google jokes will have you scrolling for more. Even if your kids aren’t quite old enough to realize what makes this list so hilarious, at least you’ll have something to chuckle about while they crack up over things like duck jokes and bee puns.

Best Google Jokes on the Internet

  1. If Google maps asks me to rate the sun…

It’s not going to get more than one star.

  1. I just Googled “medieval servant boy.” Google’s response?

“That page can’t be found.”

  1. My Google password is “SnowWhite&the7dwarves.” Why?

Because Google said I needed at least eight characters, including caps, a number, and a symbol.

  1. I got an e-mail saying, “At Google Earth, we can read maps backward!”

And I thought to myself, “That’s just spam.”

  1. Today, I Googled “cigarette lighters.”

I ended up getting 15 million matches.

  1. Bono from U2 said he’s given up with search engines like Yahoo! and Bing, and will only use Google from now on. Why?

Because he still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.

  1. Google must be a man. Why?

He interrupts and tells you what you actually meant.

  1. Where does Google go for happy hour?

The search bar.

  1. Uber and Google are going to merge…

The new company is called “Goober.”

  1. Google recently bought FitBit.

Now they can trace your steps both online and offline.

  1. What do you call doctors who graduated from online universities?

Google docs.

  1. Person A: Knock, knock.

Person B: Who’s there? Person A: Yah! Person B: Yah who? Person A: No, I prefer Google.

  1. Apparently, Google is not as smart as people think.

Recently I asked Google Translate how “Je ne sais pas” is translated, and it replied: “I don’t know.”

  1. I’ve been so busy lately that I forgot to drain the kids’ mac and cheese.

Next time I’ll set a Google Colander reminder.

  1. What happens when a Google employee breaks an arm?

They get a Google Cast.

  1. Why did Google reject the password “14days”?

It was too weak.

  1. What’s the most popular search engine for ghosts?

Ghoul-gle.

  1. How does a tree use Gmail?

They log in.

  1. Where is the best place to hide your secret candy stash?

The second page of Google search results.

  1. What search engine do babies use?

Google-ga-ga.

  1. Why was Cookie Monster upset?

Because Google asked if he wanted to delete his cookies.

  1. What did the turkey say to the computer?

“Google google.”

  1. Why did the spider use Google?

To find some more websites.

  1. I think my neighbor is stalking me. Turns out, she’s been Googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

  1. What did Google Translate say to Siri?

“Why are you so Siri-ous?”

  1. Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to Google it.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

  1. Why would you Google the former prime minister of Israel?

Because he is Netanyahu.

  1. Google is about to come out with a new browser that manages search results based solely on your DNA.

It’s going to be called the Google Chromosome.

  1. What do you want for dinner? Google Meet…

Or Google Vegetables?

  1. I asked Google what IDK means…

All it would say is “I don’t know.”

  1. Google Waymo has a self-driving truck. So, would that be considered…

Semi-autonomous?

  1. What kind of car does Google’s CEO drive?

I don’t know… but the rims are all “chrome”-d out.

  1. Do you know Google now has a platform for recording your bowel movements?

It’s called Google Sheets. (We’ll see ourselves out.)

  1. My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5-degree angle.

I responded, “That’s not right.” So, with a scowl, she Googled it to prove to me the earth is, in fact, tilted at that angle. “Precisely,” I agreed. “If the angle were right, Google would have said 90 degrees.”

  1. I Googled the Pittsburgh Steelers today.

It took me to an Allrecipes.com page for how to make a half dozen turnovers.

  1. What Google platform do vegans hate most?

Google Meet.

  1. I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was “dishonestly gaining an advantage.” I immediately felt bad for looking it up.

That was cheating.

  1. Google Plus was the gym of social networking…

We all joined but no one ever used it.

  1. How did the bank robber choose his next target?

He used Google safe search.

  1. What is Google’s favorite snack?

Microchips.

  1. What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

Michael Googlé.

  1. Dear Yahoo,

I’ve never heard anyone say, ‘I don’t know; let’s Yahoo it. Just saying… Sincerely, Google

  1. What if there was no Google?

Good question — Google it.

  1. Last night, Google stopped working, so I spent a few hours with my family.

They seem like nice people.

  1. Thanks to Google, I no longer have those nameless fears that have haunted me since the pandemic began.

Instead, I’m haunted by fears with names: acrophobia, enochlophobia, mysophobia….

  1. I asked my Australian chemist friend for a solution for a faster internet browser.

He said, “Just use chromate.”

  1. Do you ever get bored Googling on your laptop…

And then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller Google is up to?

  1. Why shouldn’t you use “beef stew” as your Gmail password?

It’s not stroganoff.

  1. I tried to type “am I a functional adult?” into Google, but it changed it to “am I a fictional adult?”

And somehow, that feels more accurate.

  1. What does Baby Google call Daddy Google?

“Da-ta.”