'How Do You Like Them Apples?' 50+ Smart, Funny Good Will Hunting Quotes

When you think back to the year 1997, lots of things probably flood your mind. MTV introduced our favorite sardonic animated ’90s heroine with Daria, the Spice Girls were zig-a-zig-ah’ing all over the radio, and Brad and Gwynnie broke up. Plus, a new catchphrase became part of the pop culture zeitgeist: “How do you like them apples?” The iconic line came courtesy of Matt Damon as the title character in the film Good Will Hunting, and it turned out to be just one of a whole slew of Good Will Hunting quotes that older millennial kids continue to echo today.

Who can blame us? The movie is a cinematic treasure. You remember the heartbreaking yet life-affirming plot, right? The film follows a 20-year-old janitor named Will Hunting, who secretly solves practically unsolvable math equations left on a blackboard at prestigious MIT. After it becomes evident that Will is behind the complex combinatorial mathematics solutions, Professor Gerald Lambeau (Stellan Skarsgård) intervenes when Will ends up on the brink of being arrested. As part of the court arrangement, Will must agree to study mathematics under Lambeau — and participate in therapy sessions. So, Lambeau calls on his old college buddy, psychologist Dr. Sean Maguire (played by the inimitable Robin Williams). Along the way, Sean helps Will battle the demons that jeopardize his new relationship with Stanford student Skylar and keep him from embracing his true potential.

All of that, and Damon and costar-slash-real-life-BFF Ben Affleck wrote it? A treasure, we tell you — a treasure. So, grab a handful of caramels and enjoy these timeless Good Will Hunting quotes.

Best Good Will Hunting Quotes

1. “People call those imperfections, but no, that’s the good stuff.” — Sean
2. “I can be in the NBA. I’m tall; I like to wear shorts. Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I’m all about three points.” — Skylar
3. “Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?” — Will
4. “Every day, I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it’s great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about 10 seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, ’cause I think maybe I’ll get up there and I’ll knock on the door and you won’t be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don’t know much, but I know that.” — Chuckie
5. “I’m pumped! Let the healing begin!” — Will
6. “Disrespect my wife again and I will end you.” — Sean
7. “F*cking people baffle me.” — Will
8. “Nail them while they’re vulnerable; that’s my motto.” — Sean
9. “That’s why I’m not talkin’ right now about some girl I saw at a bar 20 years ago, and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don’t regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don’t regret the six years I have to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don’t regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don’t regret missin’ the damn game.” — Sean
10. “My boy’s wicked smart.” — Morgan
11. “Look, if you’re gonna jerk off, why don’t you do it at home with a moist towel?” — Sean
12. “Most days I wish I’d never met you, ’cause then I could sleep at night. I didn’t have to walk around with the knowledge that there was someone like you out there. I didn’t have to watch you throw it all away.” — Professor Lambeau
13. “Excuse me, I’m afforded the right to speak in my own defense by The Constitution of the United States. This is the same document which guarantees my liberty, and liberty — in case you’ve forgotten — is a soul’s right to breathe. And when I cannot take a long breath, laws are girdled too tight.” — Will
14. “Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you’ll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. I ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right? ‘Once more into the breach, dear friends.’ But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap and watch him gasp his last breath, lookin’ to you for help. If I asked you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet, but you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin’ like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleepin’ sittin’ up in a hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes — that the terms ‘visiting hours’ don’t apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, ’cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.” — Sean
15. “Now, no more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo.” — Henry Lipkin
16. Skylar: (to Will after they meet) “Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?”

Will: “Great, or maybe we could get together and just eat a bunch of caramels.” Skylar: “What?” Will: “When you think about it, it’s just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.” Skylar: (laughs) “OK, sounds good.”

1. “I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did you work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole f*cking world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people’s formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? ‘Cause I don’t see a lot of honor in that, Will.” — Sean
2. “You’re an idiot. I’ve been sitting there all night waiting for you to come over and talk to me. But I’m tired now, and I have to go home and couldn’t just keep sitting there waiting.” — Skylar
3. Sean: “You know what? You can shove your medal up your f*cking ass! I don’t give a sh*t about your medal. Because I knew you before you were a mathematical god. When you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn’t know which side of the bed to piss on.”

Professor Lambeau: “Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you’re smarter than me now, so don’t blame me for how your life turned out. It’s not my fault.” Sean: “I don’t blame you! It’s not about you, you mathematical dick!”

1. (During his first therapy session) “Do you buy all these books retail, or do you send away for, like, a shrink kit that comes with all these volumes included?” — Will
2. “One day, I’m going to wake up and I’m gonna be 50. And I’ll still be doing this sh*t.” — Chuckie
3. (To Gerald about Will) “He pushes people away before they get a chance to leave him. It’s a defense mechanism. And for 20 years, he’s been alone because of that. And if you push him right now, it’s gonna be the same thing all over again, and I’m not gonna let that happen to him.” — Sean
4. “I look at you, I don’t see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared sh*tless kid. But you’re a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depth of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mind, and you ripped my f*cking life apart.” — Sean
5. Will: “He used to put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, ‘Choose.'”

Sean: “Well, I gotta go with the belt there.” Will: “I used to go with the wrench.” Sean: “Why?” Will: “‘Cause f*ck him, that’s why.”

1. “You have a bullsh*t answer for everything.” — Sean
2. (During a therapy session) “You know, I was on this plane once. And I’m sittin’ there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, ‘We’ll be cruising at 35,000 feet,’ then he puts the mic down but forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, ‘You know, all I could go for right now is a f*ckin’ blow job and a cup of coffee.’ So, the stewardess goes bombin’ up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic’s still on, and this guy behind me goes, ‘Hey, hon, don’t forget the coffee!'” — Will
3. Skylar: “What if I said I wouldn’t have sex with you again ’til I got to meet your friends; what would you say?”

Will: “I’d say it’s 4:30 in the morning; they’re probably up.” (picks up Skylar’s phone and begins dialing) Skylar: (laughing) “Men are shameless. If you’re not thinking with your wiener, then you’re acting directly on its behalf.”

1. Sean: “My wife used to fart in her sleep. One night, her fart was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and said, ‘Was that you?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ I didn’t have the heart to tell her.”

Will: (laughing) “So, she woke herself up?” Sean: (laughing) “Yeah, she’s been dead two years, and that’s the sh*t I remember.”

1. “So, this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there’d be equations and sh*t on the wall.” — Chuckie
2. “You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense: This girl you’ve met, she’s not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other.” — Sean
3. “See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you’re gonna start doin’ some thinkin’ on your own, and you’re gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don’t do that. And two, you dropped a 150 grand on a f*ckin’ education you coulda got for $1.5o in change at the public library.” — Will
4. Sean: “It’s not your fault.”

Will: “I know that.” Sean: “Look at me, son. It’s not your fault.” Will: “I know.” Sean: “No. No, you don’t. It’s not your fault.” Will: “Alright.” Sean: “It’s not your fault… it’s not your fault.” Will: “Don’t f*ck with me.” Sean: “It’s not your fault.” Will: “Don’t f*ck with me. Don’t f*ck with me, Sean. Not you!” Sean: “It’s not your fault.” Will: (crying) “Oh, God! I’m so sorry.” Sean: “F*ck them, OK?”

1. “I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. I figure f*ck it. While I’m at it, why don’t just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe, and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.” — Will
2. Sean: “Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me… fell into a deep peaceful sleep and haven’t thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?”

Will: “No.” Sean: “You’re just a kid — you don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talkin’ about.”

1. Will: “What do I wanna way outta here for? I’m gonna live here the rest of my f*ckin’ life. We’ll be neighbors, have little kids, take ’em to Little League up at Foley Field.”

Chuckie: “Look, you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way. But in 20 years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house, watchin’ the Patriots games, workin’ construction, I’ll f*ckin’ kill ya. That’s not a threat; that’s a fact. I’ll f*ckin’ kill ya.”

1. “I’ve got to get up in the morning and spend some more money on my overpriced education.” — Skylar
2. “You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.” — Sean
3. “Yeah, maybe. But at least I won’t be unoriginal.” — Will
4. Will: (after his last therapy session, when they’re hugging) “Does this violate the doctor-patient relationship?”

Sean: “Not unless you grab my ass.”

1. (Impersonating Will at a job interview) “You’re suspect. Yeah, you! I don’t know what your reputation is in this town, but after the sh*t you tried to pull today, you can bet I’ll be looking into you. Now the business we have, heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day, gentleman; and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.” — Chuckie
2. “You’ll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you’re afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing 10 miles down the road.” — Sean
3. “I teach this sh*t; I didn’t say I know how to do it.” — Sean
4. “What is your obsession with money? My father died when I was 13, and I inherited this money. You don’t think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can’t, and that’s my life and I deal with it. So, don’t put your sh*t on me when you’re the one that’s afraid.” — Skylar
5. “You’re legally allowed to drink now, so we figured the best thing for you was a car.” — Billy
6. Will: “I read your book last night.”

Sean: “So, you’re the one.”

1. “See you Monday. We’ll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse.” — Sean
2. Skylar: “So, what are you saying? You play the piano?”

Will: “No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn’t paint you a picture. I probably can’t hit a ball out of Fenway. And I can’t play the piano.” Skylar: “But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.” Will: “Right. Well, I mean, when it came to stuff like that… I could always just play.”

1. Morgan: “Man, I can’t believe you brought Skylar in here when we’re all f*cking bombed and been drinking. What the f*ck is she gonna think about us?”

Will: (sarcastically) “Yeah, Morgan, it’s a real rarity that we’d be out drinking.”

1. Chuckie: “Hey, asshole.”

Will: “What, bitch?” Chuckie: “Happy birthday.”

1. “Son of a bitch… he stole my line.” — Sean
2. “And right now you’re perfect too. Maybe you don’t want to ruin that. Well, I think that’s a great philosophy Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody. My wife used to turn the alarm clock off in her sleep. I was late for work all the time because in the middle of the night, she’d roll over and turn the damn thing off. Eventually, I got a second clock and put it under my side of the bed, but it got to where she was gettin’ to that one too.” — Sean
3. Will: “I’m afraid? What am I afraid of? What the f*ck am I afraid of?”

Skylar: “You’re afraid of me! You’re afraid that I won’t love you back! F*ck it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I’m honest with you.”

1. Will: “Do you play the piano?”

Skylar: “A bit.” Will: “OK, when you look at a piano, you see Mozart, right?” Skylar: “I see ‘Chopsticks.'”

1. “You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a sh*t about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some f*ckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are, then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that, do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.” — Sean