We're Not Kidding: These 40+ Goat Puns And Jokes Are Hilarious

Is there another animal that has cornered the silliness market better than goats? From goat yoga (beware the poop!) to the Goat Simulator game, goats have infiltrated every corner of the suburban world. Why? How? Because they’re freaking goofy. Did you know that a group of goats is called a “trip”? Even that name seems to fit their weird personalities. As kids (no pun intended), we were probably most familiar with goats in terms of the concept that they liked to headbutt people with their horns. From there, we were exposed to the fact that they will eat literally anything. Sure, you were butted by a goat at the zoo and knocked to the ground just last year. Yes, you were hurt and embarrassed. But, how can you stop yourself from laughing at a kooky old goat chewing its way through a fence post, its wiry goatee wiggling through the entire meal? Goats are impossibly funny, no matter what angle you come at. Perhaps that’s why it’s so easy to find hilarious goat puns and jokes in circulation.

Want jokes about some of your other favorite animals? All gravy, Mama. Giraffes and snakes are also pretty absurd looking and great sources for good, clean jokes. And if you’re raising a little sports nut? There are jokes for pretty much any athletic pastime in existence, from basketball to tennis. So, if you need a laugh, you’ve certainly come to the right corner of the internet. Let’s start with goat puns and jokes — they’re so baaaaaa-d, they’re good.

Best Goat Puns And Jokes

1. What do you call a baby goat that’s sleeping?

A kid-napper.

1. What’s a goat’s favorite drink?

Goat-arade.

1. What did the sheep say when the billy ate her dinner?

“You have goat to be kidding me!”

1. What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a goat?

You get a hare in your milk.

1. Why is it so hard to have a good conversation with a goat?

Because they’re always butting in.

1. What do you call a goat swimming really fast in a lake?

A motor goat.

1. What’s a kid’s favorite nursery rhyme?

“Row, row, row your goat.”

1. Where do you find a goat with no legs?

Right where you left it.

1. What do billies like to eat for breakfast?

Goatmeal.

1. Where does an angry goat write down its problems?

On the ram-page.

1. Why are goats from France so musical?

Because they have French horns.

1. What do you call a South American, goat-killing monster with a cold?

Achoopacabra.

1. What do you call a mountain goat?

A hillbilly.

1. A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff…

Baa dum ssss.

1. Why did the goat run off a cliff?

Because it didn’t see the ewe-turn.

1. As two hungry goats were eating movie film stock, one turned to the other and said,

“I don’t know about you, but I thought the book was better.”

1. What do you call a goat who works in a donut shop?

A battering ram.

1. What do you call a goat dressed up as a clown?

A silly billy.

1. What did the goat who was very bored, say?

“Meh!”

1. What did the goat say when her kids were being naughty?

“I need a good nanny.”

1. What was the movie about the baby goat who learned martial arts called?

The Karate Kid.

1. What did the goat say when he had an argument with his friend?

“I don’t want to butt heads with you.”

1. How do you stop a goat from charging?

Unplug it.

1. What’s the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

1. What do you call a beard on a billy?

A goatee.

1. What did Scrooge see when he spent the festive season on the farm?

The goats of Christmas past.

1. What farm animal is always in trouble?

The scapegoat.

1. How does a goat sign his Christmas cards?

Season’s bleatings.

1. Where do goat journalists usually work?

Bleat Street.

1. What did Bill Murray say when he visited the haunted farm?

“I ain’t afraid of no goats.”

1. What do you get when you ask a goat to DJ at your party?

A sick bleat.

1. Patient: “Doctor, I keep thinking that I’m a goat.”

Doctor: “How long have you felt like this?” Patient: “Ever since I was a kid.”

1. How do you stop a goat from charging?

You take away its credit card.

1. What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?

Goat stories.

1. What did the young goats say to the farmer when they were caught playing a prank?

“Sorry, we were just kidding!”

1. What do you call a goat who paints pictures?

Vincent Van Goat.

1. I saw a cartoon portraying a politician as a goat…

It was satyr.

1. A goat walks into a post office and says to the postmaster, “I need to send a telegram.”

The postmaster replies, “OK, what is it?” The goat says, “I need it to say, ‘Maa maa maa maa maa maa maa.'” Counting the words, the postmaster tells the goat, “Well, for the same price, I can put four more ‘maas’ for you.” The goat looks at him and scoffs, “But then it wouldn’t make any sense!”

1. What do you call a goat that enjoys cleaning?

A room-baaaaa.

1. Why did the farmer stop stuffing goats into his truck?

There was no more ruminant.

1. Billy is the perfect name for a newborn goat.

As a child, it’ll be “Billy the Kid.” As an adult, it’ll be “Billy Goat.”

1. I let my goats get whatever they want; I spoil them rotten.

I guess you could say I have a bleeting heart.