If Giving Blowjobs Is Your Jam, Here Are Ways To Make Them Amazing

Some like oral sex, some don’t. Some like giving and not receiving, some like both, and there are those who want to reserve all their oral skills for food.

However, if you are someone who enjoys giving a blowjob because it makes your partner happy or makes you feel powerful, we’ve got some ways to make your next blowjob straight fire. (Not literally, because ouch, but you know what I’m saying).

I’ve always enjoyed giving a good blowie and honestly, I can be a bit competitive so I like to see how fast I can get my partner to climax. I mean, this is work, people — and if you ask me, the sooner your partner has their rise to crescendo, the better.

But I want to make it count. I want my man to feel the love and energy I’m putting into the intimacy part of our relationship, or what’s the point?

I don’t want him going down on me like he’s being forced to eat something he hates. I want to have an orgasm and feel like he’s putting effort into my honey pot because it’s beautiful and delicious, so I want to give him the same feelings I want when it comes to oral sex.

Scary Mommy talked with Gigi Engle, SKYN Sex & Intimacy Expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author, via email. She gave some amazing tips on the subject, my favorite being to get some before you give some.

Can I get an amen?

Engle says before you even get started giving a nice hummer, make sure you’ve gotten your lady parts taken care of. “Have your partner go down on you or manually stimulate you to climax. Women have a shorter refractory period than men.” Engle suggests doing this because when we are feeling fulfilled and sexually satisfied, we are in a better head space to give a blowjob (then we can take another turn). Aren’t multiple orgasms great?

Relax and remember, you don’t have to be a porn star.

Make sure you’re in a comfortable position. Keep yourself balanced well on your knees (whether you’re kneeling on the ground or on a bed or sofa) and come at your man from between his legs, or his side. Making sure you are steady on your knees will allow you to use one hand if you’d like. You can stroke the shaft on his penis up and down in rhythm with your mouth.

Engle says, “You do not need to deep throat the entire time you’re giving head. That is a jaw cramp waiting to happen.” This isn’t a performance; your partner doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable. It should be fun not just for your partner, but for you as well. Authenticity is going to make the experience better for both of you.

You don’t have to bring them to climax this way, either. It’s always a good way to get them really excited for sex.

Kiss their stomach, tease their penis and balls by giving them a few light kisses as well, then start stroking and cover the tip of the penis with your mouth increasing the speed and intensity.

Ask for feedback.

Ask your man to moan or groan if you are doing something he likes. Maybe he can tell you what feels good in the moment, or ask you to go faster or slower. Remember, we want them to do what feels good to us as well. If they ask you to speed up or slow down, this isn’t criticism. This is a great way for us to learn what feels good to them so we can pleasure them more efficiently — it’s a win-win for both people.

Don’t forget about the balls.

Engle says the balls often get neglected and they are a key part of a great blowjob. “Simultaneously massaging the balls while giving head enhances the experience (and shortens the ‘job’).” The balls are a very sensitive area.

“This is a great technique for when your jaw gets tired,” says Engle, “Focus on the head of the penis and rub the balls. You can also lick the balls while using your hand on the shaft to change it up.”

Use some products.

Get some lube! Lubes actually take taste into account now, which is great.

A vibrator is a great way to get the balls in on the action, and your arms a bit of a rest. Any handheld vibrator with vibrations or sucking will get the job done. “You can also press it into the perineum, the patch of skin between the balls and anus, a nerve-rich pleasure center,” says Engle.

Again, ask your partner if this is something they’d be into. Sex toys up the sense of eroticism, and during oral sex it can be extremely intense (in a good way), but don’t just surprise them with it.

Giving a blowjob can be a way to spice things up and something that can make your partner really happy and feel cared for. Communication and talking about what you both like is a big part of having a healthy sex life, but remember, you should be enjoying it as well.