Hear Me Out: Chocolate Chip Cookies, But With Fritos In Them

Last weekend I had PMS, which for a perimenopausal woman is quite the accomplishment to survive if I do say so myself. It’s a PMS so bad you can’t imagine it unless you’ve been through it. You are exhausted but can’t sleep. You could be standing in a cooler, and still be sweating. You hate everyone one minute, then want to smother them with love the next. Until they open their mouth or move the wrong way, then you hate them again.

So, while I was sitting on my swamp ass hating the world and pinning on Pinterest like it would save the planet, I came across a recipe for Frito Chocolate Chip Cookies. Suddenly the clouds parted, I could hear harps playing in the background, and I somehow felt if I could get those salty chips and chocolate nuggets held together by creamy butter and sugar with a splash of vanilla, I could be saved.

I masked up and took myself to the store to get everything I needed — those cookies were happening, and I didn’t care if it was 90 degrees outside and my leather seats held the heat of one thousand suns. My kids told me they looked disgusting and they wouldn’t be having any. I was actually happy because that meant I could have them all to myself and they wouldn’t be asking me ten times when the damn cookies would be ready.

I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long-ass time since I bought Fritos. I don’t know why. I used to eat them all the time growing up in the ‘80s and ’90s (before you got food-shamed for doing such things). They go great with queso, onion dip, and hot dogs. We’d always bring them to the beach and you bet your ass a bag or two would always make an appearance at a barbecue. I love how salty, oily, and substantial they are. Ain’t no ingredients gonna make those babies soggy. Now that I think about it, I’m so sad Fritos have been replaced by organic, blue corn chips. Let’s bring back the Fritos, people!

Anyway, this is my way of letting you know if you are going to make these cookies (please do), you must buy the real deal. Do not try and substitute some other kind of corn chip. It will not be the same.

The first (very fun) step to making these treats is you get to smash the chips. Smashing things is always good. I used a spoon and a bowl because I was feeling aggressive, but you can also put the chips in a food processor, or put them in a sandwich bag and roll them out with a rolling pin.

You must also remember that it’s really fun to munch on things while you are baking so do yourself a favor and leave the bag of Fritos out. I’ve also heard they are sturdy enough to scoop and shove some dough into your mouth before you bake the cookies off. But I didn’t try it so I wouldn’t know. Ahem.

As they were in the oven, you could smell the Fritos slightly and I started to panic a bit, wondering what I was doing with my life. Did I really just smash up Fritos while holding a spoon so tightly I could have bent it in half so I could put them in chocolate chip cookies and eat them?

But as soon as they came out of the oven, I forgave myself and took a large bite, and it was worth all the self loathing in the world. The chips do something magical while baking in the cookie dough. They gave them texture, and you only taste a bit of salt at the end of your bite, which is perfection. My son couldn’t help himself and had to try one and said, “Mom, the Fritos taste like toffee.”

And he is exactly right! I couldn’t think of what they reminded me of, but that’s it — toffee. They get stuck in your teeth the same way toffee does too, but they are so damn good I allowed it and ate another. Then another.

If you love chocolate chip cookies but are looking to spice them up a bit, I recommend crushing some Fritos into the cookie dough. Even if you aren’t, I recommend crushing up the Fritos and adding them in the cookie dough.

If you don’t think you will like this twist on the classic chocolate chip cookie, you will probably be wrong. I say live dangerously and go for it.

We are all looking for ways to mix up our days and this can be a great way to bring back the damn Frito. If this doesn’t speak to the versatility of Fritos, I don’t know what the hell does.

Here’s the full recipe I used. You are welcome. Now, what are you waiting for?