Can We Talk About The One Christmas Movie From Childhood That Traumatized Us All?

There have been many adaptations of Charles Dickens’ 1843 novel A Christmas Carol throughout the years. Some have proven to be better than others — the Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell-led comedy musical Spirited certainly had a unique take and some catchy songs — but as a society, I think we can all agree that there’s one iteration that has proven to be far superior to all the others and that’s the 1992 classic The Muppet Christmas Carol. Starring Michael Caine in the titular role of Ebenezer Scrooge (and one of the few actual human actors in the cast), the film follows Scrooge’s typical redemption journey from miserable miser to generous man of the people — all of which gets narrated by Gonzo, who is playing the part of Charles Dickens himself. (Genius, right?) It’s like the saying goes: If you want something done right, call in the muppets.

But while this film has become a must-see for both kids and adults alike during the holiday season, a recent rewatch of The Muppet Christmas Carol made me realize just how scary some of these scenes actually are, even now through the eyes of a fully grown adult. True, the fun musical numbers and general presence of adorable, beloved muppets does a great job of distracting you from fully absorbing some of the darker moments throughout the story. But when you really stop and think about it, there’s a seedy underbelly to this children’s flick that I feel very rarely ever gets talked about. Does that stop me from loving it in any way, shape, or form? Absolutely not! But upon closer inspection, I think you, too, will realize that this muppet family favorite is a lot scarier than you remember.

Knock, knock

After a long day of bah-humbugging and tossing muppets out into the snow, Scrooge heads home for the night. Just as he goes to open his front door, the door knocker transforms into the head of one of his now-deceased business partners, Jacob Marley. That may not sound all that terrifying in theory, but in practice, it proved to be quite unsettling, especially after the giant head proceeds to let out a loud, eerie shriek. Not exactly the ideal way to kick off your evening! Though arguably Scrooge probably deserved it, but Young Kelly sure didn’t.

With friends like these

Shortly afterward, Scrooge gets a visit from his first ghosts of the evening in the form of both of his former (now deceased) business partners, Jacob and Robert Marley. Now donned in shackles and chains, they explain that if Scrooge's greed and selfishness continue, he could find himself facing some serious consequences in the afterlife, which is what's happened to them.

They then launch into a chilling song titled "Marley and Marley" that warns Scrooge to change his ways before it's too late. "Doomed, Scrooge! You're doomed for all time. Your future is a horror story, written by your crime," they sing to their former friend. “Your chains are forged by what you say and do, so have your fun. When life is done, a nightmare waits for you."

It paints a powerful picture, for sure, particularly when their chains and shackles start to wrap around and strangle them while dragging the two ghostly figures away as the music fades out. Talk about creepy! That alone should've been enough to convince Scrooge to turn over a new leaf. But alas, there was more terror in store for him (and us).

Hello, Dolly

Porcelain dolls are spooky on a regular day, but when they appear in your bedroom in the middle of the night in ghost form, they are downright terrifying. For some reason, Scrooge honestly didn't seem all that bothered by them, but to this day, I still can't look at dolls the same way. Anything with glass eyes is an immediate no for me, thank you very much.

Digging your own grave

The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come proves to be a ghost of few words (OK, fine, zero words), but that only enhances his scare factor. Well, that and the fact that he looks like he was the inspiration for Azkaban’s Dementors. As a kid, I always wondered what it looked like underneath that hood, but as an adult, I realize I never want to find out. Even Gonzo, the narrator of the film, didn’t want to stick around for these scenes. It was enough to scare the meanness right out of Scrooge, so I guess it worked, but at what cost to my sanity? This dude will haunt my nightmares for many more years yet to come. (See what I did there?)

Every year, we all spend so much time debating whether or not The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween or Christmas movie. But, if you think about it, the same argument could be made for The Muppet Christmas Carol. On the surface, it simply looks like a heart-warming Christmas movie, and in many ways, it is. But those darker moments have more than earned it a spot in the Halloween/Christmas debate, no ifs, ands, or bah humbugs.