Michelle Obama Admitted She “Couldn't Stand” Barack Obama For 10 Years Of Their Marriage
She explained that the high stress period happened when their daughters were little.
There’s no question that children, especially young children, can put a strain on a marriage. Parents are typically in survival mode for several years before finding their groove again as a married couple. It takes time and effort to maintain a healthy marriage while managing kids’ schedules, sleeping habits, and more or less, just keeping them alive.
Former First Lady Michelle Obama admitted that married life wasn’t exactly sunshine and roses for her and President Barack Obama for a good decade of their marriage. Her open and vulnerable take helps to normalize those stressful, tired years of having little kids.
In a roundtable conversation with Revolt TV, Obama, 58, said there was a decade in her relationship with Barack Obama, 61, when “she couldn't stand” him.
“People think I'm being catty by saying this — it's like, there were 10 years where I couldn't stand my husband,” she said. “And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
On top of the the everyday stressors of having little kids, she went on to explain that not only were they in the midst of early parenthood, but President Obama was extremely focused on his political career, leaving Michelle to be the primary caretaker of their daughters, Malia, now 24, and Sasha, now 21.
And as any mom knows, kids can be really, really draining, and when kids are that small, they’re blameless, so that frustration and anger heads directly for our spouse.
Michelle recalled that little kids “have demands. They don't talk. They're poor communicators. They cry all the time. They're irrational. They're needy. And you love them more than anything. And so you can't blame them.”
“So you turn that ire on each other,” she said.
“And for 10 years while we’re trying to build our careers and, you know, worrying about school and who’s doing what and what, I was like, ‘Ugh, this isn’t even,’” The Light We Carry author said. “And guess what? Marriage isn’t 50/50, ever, ever.”
She then explained that in their marriage, sometimes she is taking the bigger load and, at times, Barack steps in to manage the majority of the household. The author also noted that while 10 years of hard marriage might seem like a lot, she’d take 10 bad years over 30 bad years. The couple met in 1989 and got married in 1992.
She continued, “There are times I'm 70, he's 30. There are times he's 60, 40, but guess what? 10 years — we've been married 30. I would take 10 bad years over 30 — it's just how you look at it. And people give up ... ‘Five years; I can't take it.’”
The former President and First Lady recently celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary with adorable social media tributes to each other. The 44th president shared a slideshow of photos of the couple including and a black-and-white wedding photo.
“After 30 years, I'm not sure why you look exactly the same and I don't. I do know that I won the lottery that day—that I couldn't have asked for a better life partner. Happy anniversary, sweetheart!” he wrote in the caption.
Michelle responded in kind, noting that their 30 year marriage has been one for the books and looked forward to many more. “Happy anniversary to the man I love!” she wrote. “These last 30 years have been an adventure, and I'm grateful to have you by my side. Here's to a lifetime together. I love you @BarackObama.”
