Savage Grandmother Goes Viral For Her Grandkid Ranking Board
Tiktok comedian Dan Lamorte’s grandmother has a homemade system for ranking her favorite grandkids that has the entire internet LOLing.
If your grandparents tell you they don’t have favorites, they might just be lying. Comedian and TikToker Dan Lamorte shared his own family tea: Grandma not only has favorites, but she also ranks them accordingly on a homemade magnetic board, so they know exactly where they stand with her. In a reel posted in 2021, Dan is showing a wooden board that hangs in his grandmother's home, which has face magnets of all ten grandkids alongside numbers 1 through 10.
The board says FAMILY at the top.
“So at my grandma’s house, she has a board of the ten grandchildren's faces on magnets, and she ranks us from one to ten. I’m eight,” he shares in the video. With 1.2M views, it prompted Lamorte to provide updates on the board, with a part two this past March.
In his update, he shares, “Here’s an update on my grandmother's leaderboard [of the] grandchildren from one to ten. I have risen to sixth. There we go. Number one, it’s invalid. She lives next door [and] moves herself. Number two and three doctors, he’s a dentist, so I don’t know why he’s two, he should be three, and everything else, those are stories for a later day.”
This prompted a lot of questions about the grandkid in 10th place, wondering what she could have done to be put in last place, with Dan explaining, “Some family drama is best left unaired. I live out of state, next time we’re together, I’ll interview her, lol.”
The ongoing family saga even caught the attention of the local Chicago news station WGN News, which interviewed the pair and gave the world the answers they’d been waiting for.
Mary Francis says she didn’t come up with the leaderboard, but that it was an idea from one of her grandsons (not Dan). When asked if it was the grandson sitting at number one, she laughed, saying, “No, that would make sense, but no.”
Brutal.
So is this a joke for TikTok, or is she for real? Mary says there's “a little bit or maybe more than a little bit” of truth to it. Dan jokes that while some thought the leaderboard was wholesome, others were a bit offended, coining her “the savage grandma.”
That’s pretty awesome if you ask me.
Mary admits there are no consequences for being demoted, joking, “I don’t think I’d lock the door on them or anything,” but that certain achievements, such as getting married or having a baby, does move them up to number one on the board.
And if you’re wondering about dear granddaughter Ariana, who sits in last place, Francis says, “She doesn’t call nanny and grandpa, and she doesn’t come to visit too often, but she works hard.”
What do the top two grandkids do to get their spots?
“Number One happens to live right across the road from me and she comes every day and we do Wordle together,” Grandma explained. “She’s a sweetheart. And number Two is her sister. And she’s a vet. I love animals and I love her.”
As for Dan, he hopes this contribution to grandma’s stardom counts for something and shares that he is currently at number three.
The most important fact to emerge from this interview is even when they visit and rearrange the board, she corrects it after they leave — this is serious business.
