5 Things I Learned Rewatching Full House As A Parent For The First Time
Not me bawling at the life lesson in every episode.
I was a '90s kid. I was also a loyal fan of Full House, which means that growing up, catchphrases like "You got it, dude" and "have mercy" were basically part of my DNA (along with "Did I do thaaaat?" — IYKYK). I vividly remember sitting on the sofa in my living room as a kid and looking forward to my daily dose of Full House. Back then, I resonated a lot with Michelle's character — partially because we share the same name, and partially because she's the youngest of three girls (like I am).
Full House always had a special place in my heart, but because I watched it as a kid, I saw it through the lens of a kid. Now that I'm in my 30s and have three young children of my own, I decided to rewatch my favorite childhood show (that, admittedly, I hadn't seen in 25 years).
When I sat down to start my rewatching binge and singer Jesse Frederick's raspy voice came on, a smile immediately imprinted on my face. No matter how long it's been since I've seen the show, its theme song is a tune that will live rent-free in my head as a reminder of the warm and fuzzy feeling I get when I watch a show as wholesome as this one.
Here are a few things I've learned while rewatching the first season that I have come to appreciate.
Asking for help is OK.
Being a parent is hard work, and some parents feel they need to be strong, self-reliant, or have all the answers for their children, making it hard for them to admit when they need a helping hand (hi, that was me with my first kid).
But asking for help is not an indicator of incompetence. In fact, it's a sign of resourcefulness, self-awareness, and a commitment to doing what's best for your child. The show highlights this in a beautiful way — most obviously, when Uncle Jesse and Joey move into the Tanner house to help raise the girls, and even when Grandma returns to "check in" on the family and see how things are going. Sometimes, it takes a village, and if you're privileged enough to have that village around you, it's OK to use it.
Danny's mom is unexpectedly relatable.
Danny's mom makes a short appearance in the show, but her presence in the opening scene of episode one makes her an unexpectedly relatable character. The scene shows her saying goodbye to Danny, DJ, and Stephanie after a three-month-long stay in which she helped out the family after Danny's wife's death. She's reluctant to leave, Danny's all too ready for her to leave, and the grandchildren are begging her not to leave.
This hammers home a thought I have often: There comes a time when you must trust that you've taught your kids well and let them spread their wings, even when they're put in such an unfathomable position as becoming widowed.
As my kids are inching toward becoming big kids, teenagers, and, eventually, grown adults, I know that one day I'll have to throw them into the world and hope for the best, and I bet this is exactly what Grandma is doing in this moment.
Managing different kids' needs — all at the same time — is truly a herculean effort.
It's an all-too-familiar scene when Danny tries to console DJ about having to share her room with her sister, all while Michelle is crying for milk and Stephanie, the middle child, is just going along for the ride. As a parent of multiple children, it's a constant battle trying to manage the physical and emotional needs of everyone... not to mention yourself. (PSA: You're doing great!).
The show highlighted a few different strategies when it came to managing the children's needs: Danny was able to tailor his approach according to birth order and age (for instance, DJ's troubles are different from Stephanie's, which are different from Michelle's), the adults were pro's at dividing and conquering (Danny's structure balanced out Uncle Jesse's emotional availability, which balanced out Joey's humor and comic relief), and the shared family values were ever-so-present in every episode (the adults always reinforced the values of kindness, honesty, and mutual respect).
Danny's parenting style strikes a healthy balance.
Throughout the season, Danny flip-flops between authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles. While he craves a sense of order and obedience from his kids, he also very much fosters a nurturing and responsive environment that allows them to make mistakes without judgment.
This is evident in pretty much every episode: when DJ "moves out" of her room and into the garage, when Stephanie tries to ditch school on the first day, when the girls lose Bubba the turtle.
Watching back, it's interesting to note that his parenting style also translates into his problem-solving tactics with Uncle Jesse and Joey. Case in point? While he's livid that Uncle Jesse throws a party at the house when he's meant to be babysitting, he's also quick to show empathy and compassion for him, knowing that the rockstar is on a journey of growth and transformation.
This is actually so inspiring, and something I think we all strive for, no matter what our parenting styles are. We want our kids to feel comfortable coming to us for problems versus bottling them in. Danny takes their feelings seriously, encourages communication, and, most of all, respects their opinions.
The show doesn't underestimate the bond of sibling-hood.
The bond between the sisters, particularly DJ and Stephanie in the first season, is one of the most heartwarming parts of the show for me. On more than one occasion, we see DJ putting on a brave face for her little sister, often to her own detriment (like when she's upset Danny has to go to work instead of taking them to the mall, but suppresses her feelings to spare Stephanie's).
Then there are the cute scenes of the duo getting up to mischief — like when they sneak out of bed and raid the freezer for ice cream. Watching scenes like that was relatable because my children engage in sibling conflict more often than not, so anytime I notice that they're collaborating on something, even when it involves a little mischief (within reasonable and safe constructs, of course — like making a "science experiment" of condiments in the fridge), I try to let it go. Yes, this may delay bedtime a little. But I believe that the camaraderie, teamwork, and memories they develop during these small shared experiences deepen their connection and encourage problem-solving skills — just like it does in Full House.