30 Years Later, The Father Of The Bride 2’s Portrayal Of Being In Your 40s Is Honestly Jarring

As a kid growing up in the '90s, there was one feel-good movie I remember watching over and over again: Father of the Bride. I couldn't get enough of the 1991 film starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton. That was until I discovered Father of the Bride Part II, which was released in 1995. Not only did it have the same '90s charm and lovable characters as the first one, but it added an entertaining plotline about the daughter and mother getting pregnant at the same time. It became my new go-to movie to watch on repeat whenever I needed a mood boost.

It's been almost 30 years since Father of the Bride Part II came out, and I recently rewatched it after not seeing it for ~years~. As an adult, I noticed a few surprising revelations that went way over my head as a kid.

As a millennial mom, I was shocked to see how the movie depicts being in your 40s.

The movie hints that George and Nina Banks (played by Martin and Keaton) are in their 40s. For instance, when George finds out Nina's pregnant, he says, "Between us, we are almost 100 years old," and "We're gonna be in our 50s when [our baby is] in preschool." But their style in the movie looks much older than how we often picture 40-somethings today.

In fact, a couple of years ago, a tweet went viral that showed a photo of Geroge and Nina, saying it's "unbelievable" that this is what the 40s was supposed to look like in 1995.

In the photo, Nina wears a set of pearls, a cardigan, and a blouse, while George sports a baggy suit, tie, and white hair. Yet this is how Hollywood commonly portrayed this age group in the '80s and '90s. Look at The Golden Girls, for example. The women were supposed to be in their 50s when the show started, another tweet pointed out.

This is a stark difference from women in Hollywood who are in their 40s and 50s today, such as Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Aniston, and Anne Hathaway.

The movie doesn't give a realistic look at pregnancy and the postpartum period.

While the movie briefly mentions some common pregnancy symptoms, such as experiencing leg cramps, mood swings, and hot flashes, it mostly focuses on the glamorous parts of expecting a baby. Case in point? George hires event planner Franck (played by Martin Short) to arrange an extravagant double baby shower for Nina and his daughter Annie (played by Kimberly Williams-Paisley). Another scene is dedicated to Franck showing off the newly remodeled and pristinely decorated baby suite.

Of course, expecting a new baby is an exciting time, but it's not just all about the baby shower and decorating the nursery. Many women also experience pregnancy complications and feel sick, exhausted, and overwhelmed with juggling day-to-day responsibilities while preparing for a newborn.

The movie also fails to portray what the postpartum period is truly like. After Nina and Annie give birth, the next scene skips to a couple months later. Both women look well-rested, put together, and exactly the same size as before they had kids. There is no mention of sleep deprivation, recovering from birth (even for Nina, who had an emergency C-section), the challenges of breastfeeding, or postpartum mental health.

While I know showing real, tough moments isn't typical for a rom-com, more accurate portrayals of birth and postpartum in movies and shows, in general, would help parents have more realistic expectations.

There is one significant parenting moment in the movie that I didn't even remember when watching as a kid.

This scene left me in tears as an adult, yet I barely even noticed it as a kid. When Annie arrives unexpectedly at her parents' house, she tells her dad she's been offered a work opportunity in Boston. She and her husband Bryan (played by George Newbern) are in a fight because he is hesitant about them moving across the country with a new baby. Earlier in the movie, George tells Nina how much he doesn't want their daughter to move far away. In this moment, though, when he sees how excited she is about this opportunity, he says, "Ann, you have to go." As he watches her drive away, he narrates, "I got a ... pain in my gut, the one I always got when I did something for one of the kids that fell under the heading of, 'I did it for their own good.'"

As a kid, I had no idea how heartbreaking a moment like that can be for a parent. As a mom, even though my daughter is young, I already know this feeling all too well. From your kid's first day of preschool to when they move out of the house and start their own adult life, being able to let go when it's best for your kid — even when you want to hold on forever — is one of the most challenging parts of parenting.

The verdict: I love the movie even more as a millennial mom.

Although it had been years since I watched Father of the Bride Part II, it is now back on my list of feel-good movies to rewatch when I need a mental break. Not only does it bring back nostalgia for growing up in the '90s, but I now see it from the perspective of a millennial mom and appreciate it so much more.