75 Funny And A-Glaze-Ing Donut Puns And Jokes For Your Sweet Tooth

Quick — name the best breakfast food! If you answered anything other than “donuts,” you’re wrong. Donuts are a fairly remarkable creation. This sweet treat started as just a yeasty pastry with the middle missing, a fried ring of dough. It’s evolved, though. When we were kids, the biggest question might have been whether we wanted chocolate icing or strawberry. Kids today have way more options. Do they want the sweet, sticky croissant hybrid, aka a “cronut” or “doughssant?”

So, yeah, you might say we love donuts a “hole” bunch! And, if you’re here, we’re guessing you do, too. While donuts are obviously scrumptious, it turns out that they’re also pretty silly. Or, well, at least donut fans are. Just like you can find jokes about everything from funny moms to Easter, the joke world is jam-packed (do you see what we did there?) with donut puns and jokes. These are our faves. In fact, the only thing more delicious than these treasures may just be donut puns (or maybe pizza puns, if you’re into savory food.)

Donut Jokes

1. What do you call a pastry that is a priest?

A Holy Donut!

1. What do you call a cute donut?

A-dough-able.

1. Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?

It always went back four seconds

1. What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?

“Donut hole me back.”

1. What do you call uncivilized donuts?

Bavarians.

1. I allow myself only one donut per year.

This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.

1. Why do golfers love donuts?

Always a hole-in-one!

1. What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?

Anecdoughtal evidence.

1. Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?

The Sahara dessert!

1. Knock Knock.

Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!

1. Ever heard of French Donuts?

They’re the Beigne of my existence.

1. Why did the donut go to the dentist?

To get a filling.

1. Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?

He was stuffed!

1. What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?

I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.

1. Why do donuts hate puns so much?

They donut like to joke around!

1. Why did the donut go to a therapist?

He felt empty inside.

1. Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?

They thought it would be fun for the hole family.

1. What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?

“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”

1. What’s the best thing to put in a donut?

Your teeth.

1. What did the donut say to the Munchkin?

You complete me!

1. What’s a basketball player’s favorite donut shop?

Dunkin’ Donuts.

1. What are strange donuts made out of?

Weird-doughs.

1. What’s the healthiest part of a donut?

The middle.

1. I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.

I’m calling it Hole Foods.

1. Why did the donut go to the doctor?

He was feeling crumby.

1. The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”

The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”

1. What kind of donuts can fly?

The plain ones.

1. What’s the National Donut Day theme song?

“Donut Stop Believing.”

1. When do bakers stop making donuts?

When they get tired of the hole thing.

1. A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.

It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.

1. How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi’ jam in.

1. What did an angry donut say to his wife?

Donut talk to me.

1. Where was the first donut cooked?

In Greece.

1. What do do-nuts wear to weddings?

Tuxedoughs!

1. Why do donuts hate puns so much?

They donut like to joke around!

1. Knock knock!

Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!

1. What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?

An antidought!

1. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?

Doughnut forget to do your homework or you will have to go to summer school!

1. Warning! Donuts will make your clothes shrink.
2. Knock Knock

Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!

1. Knock, knock

Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!

1. Why did the baker quit making donuts?

Because he was fed up with the hole business!

1. Which nut has a hole in it?

A donut.

1. What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?

Double glazed.

1. What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?

Frosty the Dough-Man!

1. What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?

The creme of the crop.

1. What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?

Fry-day.

1. What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?

A do-rut!

1. What happened to the renegade donuts?

They went down in a glaze of glory.

1. Why do donuts make terrible teachers?

They’re always glazing over the important stuff.

1. How can you spot a fashionista donut?

They’re into all the latest glazes.

1. What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?

“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”

Donut Puns and One-Liners

There’s nothing sweeter than the perfect donut pun. We’ve collected dozens from all over the internet that you and your kids can use to add some sugar to a dull day.

1. Donuts are happiness with sprinkles on top.
2. Donut give up.
3. You donut know how much I love you.
4. Donut kill my vibe.
5. Let’s go to Dunkin. We need more hole foods!
6. Donut be jelly.
7. Donut worry. Be happy.
8. Glazed and confused.
9. Let’s go glazy.
10. You drive me glazy.
11. Hold me closer, tiny donut.
12. You’ve really got a hole on me.
13. Do or donut, there is no try.
14. Donut disturb.
15. Donut enter.
16. Donut ever let me go.
17. Donut go breaking my heart.
18. Donut judge me.
19. Donut mind if I do.
20. Eat more hole foods.
21. It’s your birthday; let’s donuts!
22. Donut underestimate the power of baked goods.
23. Hole me closer, tiny donut.