These Donkey Jokes And Puns Are A Real Kick

You probably already know a few donkey jokes that are super-funny. Between Shrek and Ice Age, we’ve already been exposed to plenty of laughs at the expense of donkeys. You’ve gotta admit — something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. Coupled with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well, they’re veritable laugh factories. And we’ve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. It doesn’t hurt that these equines are also pretty interesting animals.

For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren’t exactly the same? Donkeys come from two donkey parents. Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. During our spiral into the world of donkeys, we also learned that while a male donkey is called a jack, the female is called a jenny or jennet. Just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules are called foals. Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. Just ask a farmer!

Despite differences in the creatures’ breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably can’t tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. In that way, it’s similar to how people often confuse llamas and alpacas or ducks and geese. Another point of confusion? Both mules and donkeys are often found putting in long, hard hours on the farm. While real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree. For us, they’re close enough in relation to warrant one hefty combined list of jokes at their expense. It’s all in good fun, of course.

RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad They’re Actually Good

Read at your own risk: These jokes pack quite a kick. Ready to laugh your… er, butt off?

Best Mule and Donkey Jokes

1. What do you call a baby donkey?

A burrito.

1. What do you call a frightened baby donkey?

A chicken burrito.

1. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail?

A man sitting on a donkey.

1. What’s a donkey’s favorite party game?

Pin the tail on the human.

1. What does a donkey do when you tell him a joke?

He-ha’s.

1. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off?

Hee-Hawnked.

1. Who is the most famous donkey in history?

Donkey-ottie.

1. When do donkeys have six legs?

When they’re being ridden!

1. Why didn’t the donkey cross the road?

He saw what happened with the zebra.

1. What do donkeys send out near Christmas?

Mule-tide greetings.

1. When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles?

When you’re only five miles from home.

1. Why are donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys similar?

They all have keys.

1. What did the donkey say to the couch?

Nothing, because donkeys can’t speak.

1. What’s the difference between a teeter-totter on a ranch and a donkey’s grandpa?

One’s a yee-haw seesaw and the other is a hee-haw pee-paw.

1. What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonkey donkey.

1. How does Winnie the Pooh‘s friend paddle his boat?

Eeyores it!

1. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs?

Anything you like; he can’t hear you.

1. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle?

A Yam-Hee-Haw.

1. What’s the hardest key to turn?

A donkey.

1. What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye?

A winky wonky donkey.

1. What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind?

A stinky winky wonky donkey.

1. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic?

Lost.

1. The donkey once asked the Persian horse, “Do you play any instruments?”

The horse replied, “Nay.”

1. What’s a donkey’s favorite show?

Bray Watch.

1. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra?

Debra.

1. A man loads a burden onto his donkey and says…

“Eukaryote.”

1. What do Bruce Lee and the donkey from Shrek have in common?

They have both entered the dragon.

1. Patient: “Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.”

Doctor: “Take these pills, and your dreams will go away.” Patient: “Can I start taking them tomorrow?” Doctor: “Why?” Patient: “Because I’m scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight.”

Donkey Jokes Using Their “Other” Name

1. What happens when you’re carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him?

You’re laughing your ass off.

1. What do you call a man with two donkeys?

Biased.

1. What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys?

An assassination.

1. What happens when you buy a mini-donkey?

You’re getting a little ass!

1. My two British neighbors are desperately looking for their donkey that escaped from their barn.

They are assless chaps.

1. What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?

An ass throw nut (astronaut).

1. How do you compliment a donkey?

“Hey, nice ass!”

1. What do you get when you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction?

Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

1. What do you call a donkey that keeps time?

Hourgl-ass.

1. What do you call a donkey with a doctorate?

A smart ass.

1. What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?

A pain in the ass.

1. What do you get when you have Avogadro’s number of donkeys?

Molasses.

1. What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?

A kick-ass.

1. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys.

It’s called “peace of ass.”

1. I told my friend that I shot a donkey.

“You’re lying,” he said. I replied, “No, deadass!”

1. What do you call a donkey with a banjo?

Bluegr-ass.

1. A man fell in love with his faithful female donkey and married her.

At the wedding, the priest said, “Well, this is refreshing. It’s usually the woman who’s marrying the ass.”

1. What happens when you buy a mini donkey?

You get a little ass.

1. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball,

I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it.

1. What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS?

Comp-ass.

1. Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey?

His friends called him underp-ass.