Saucy And Dirty Texts Guaranteed To Help You Get Lucky Tonight

Listen, initiating sex isn’t always easy, even in long-term relationships. You’re juggling work, kids, chores, and all of the other things life throws at you. Sometimes it’s extra hard to think of anything beyond saying, “I need to get laid.” To be fair, your partner is probably in a similar boat and will likely be cool with just that much openness.

Still. Maybe you’re already feeling like a nag with a long list of “needs.” Perhaps you just want to find a way to add a little spice to your regular Wednesday night routine. Sending sexy messages or dirty pick-up lines are great ways to easily ask for what you need. You don’t have to wait for your SO to answer your call or whisper your request to your co-parent. You can literally send a flirty text (or downright dirty text) while sitting across from each other at the breakfast table. As a matter of fact, we guarantee that sending proper dirty texts to your significant other while in eye-contact range will be one of the most satisfying experiences you’ll have — outside of the actual sex, of course.

Whether you’re stealing glances over Raisin Bran or looking for attention while separated, these dirty texts ought to help you get lucky. Interested in more flirty ideas to send your lover? Check out our dirty would you rather questions, dirty riddles, and more.

Dirty Texts to Send When One of You Is Working

1. How much trouble do you think we’d get into if I were your co-worker?

2. I’m questioning the structural integrity of this desk. We should test it out sometime. 3. Water Cooler Gossip: I’m not wearing any panties. 4. Wanna meet in the parking lot on our lunch breaks? 5. If I were your boss, I’d definitely make you work late. 6. You’re in finance. What are the odds of us multiplying tonight? 7. Betcha I can make your day more interesting. (When they text back, tell them to name a body part and you’ll send a picture.) 8. I’m not saying you should sneak to the bathroom and FaceTime me, but I’m definitely saying you’ll like what you see if you do. 9. I loved seeing you in that shirt/jeans/top/briefs last night. 10. Do you think I would look better in a skirt or tight jeans? 11. Did I tell you what I call my boobs? 12. I’m so excited about our date tonight. If you play your cards right, then you’re going to love what I’ve got planned for later. 13. Tonight, I want to slowly kiss my way from your lips down. The only question is, how far down will I go? 14. If I could only wear three items of clothing or less tonight, what would you choose for me? 15. I just laid in bed for the last hour thinking about you. Guess what I was doing? 16. I just thought of a new position I really want to try with you. 17. You have a choice tonight: Anal or oral. So what’s it gonna be? 18. I had a naughty dream last night, and guess who was in it? I’ll give you a hint. I’m texting him right now. 19. Lying in bed and bored. Wish you were here to play with me. 20. I feel like something’s missing in my life. Namely you. Between my legs. 21. If I were with you right now, where would you want me to touch you? 22. I want to get naked with you right now. 23. Confession: I’ve been naughty today and probably deserve a spanking. If only there were someone to do it. 24. I’m listening to a song that makes me think totally dirty thoughts about you! If you were here, we’d probably make some of them a reality.

“Dirty” Texts That Get Straight to the Point

25. I’ve decided what I’m doing tonight. (You.)

26. If you can guess what I’m doing, I’ll send you a picture. 27. Come to bed. 28. What part of my body do you secretly hope other people appreciate? 29. Who needs sleep when there are other fun things to do? 30. What do your lips taste like? 31. How many licks till I get to the center of it? 32. I’m ready to play. 33. Just the thought of tonight gives me goosebumps. 34. Thinking of you is burning me up. 35. Come. Here. Now. 36. Let’s take this convo off-line and to my room. 37. Oh, so this is what butterflies feel like! 38. I can’t get you out of my mind, and I don’t even want to. 39. You better be at my door in less than 30 minutes! 40. How would you like me to open the door? 41. Guess who shaved today? 42. I bought new lingerie. Wanna see? 43. So, I’m thinking about the last time we were together. I think we should try to top that.

Dirty Texts That Are Actually Just Pics

Giving a little warning before sending a risqué picture might be appreciated if your partner is at work. However, we promise that they always want to see you and what you’re wearing (or not wearing). If you’ve been asked for sexy pics, or if you’re just feeling yourself, here are a few ways to initiate the pic-sending.

44. I’m in a dressing room right now. Help me decide on a new bra?

45. I’m trying on lingerie. Want to make the final decision? 46. Is this skirt too short? Is this top too low?

One final tip: Nervous about sending pictures? Try Snapchat. Your partner won’t even notice the puppy ears in the pic, but it will take some of the edge off for you. You can also make loops of things like bra straps sliding down, or knees opening and closing quickly. They won’t have time to see anything, but the cheeky flirtiness will make it fun for all.

Dirty Texts to Send When You’re Really Far Away

47. Going out tonight. Wish you were here to sneak in the bathroom with me.

48. I really miss your magic touch. Ever see those vibrators you can control from your partner’s app? 49. I’m air drying in bed and having a little “me time” but I’m definitely thinking about the last time we were together. 50. How many more days until we’re in bed together, again? 51. We really dropped the ball on this trip. If you’d come, we could have joined the mile-high club. 52. I’m all by myself, reading some erotica and imagining it’s about us. 53. Next time, we’re escaping to a hotel room together. 54. Had a dirty dream about us last night. No worries, took down notes, will replicate them. 55. I’m exploring the city today and I’ve found all kinds of cool spots for you to take me in. 56. The shower in my hotel room is gigantic! Perfect for shower sex. 57. Check out this fancy box of condoms in the amenities tray at my hotel. Should I bring them home?

Extra Naughty Texts That Double As Dirty Research

58. Do you think there’s such a thing as too loud in bed, or the louder the better?

59. If we were to try role play, who would you want to be first? 60. What movie always puts you in the mood? 61. Should we buy a few new toys to use together? 62. Do you know all of my most erogenous zones? Wanna find ’em? 63. Where do you want to do it the next time I see you? 64. What kind of dirty talk do you like? 65. What’s something we haven’t done yet that you still want to try? 66. Would you mind if I practice my dirty dancing skills for you? 67. What food do you want to eat off my body tonight? 68. Do you prefer quickies or all-nighters? 69. If I could only wear one item of clothing tonight, what would you pick for me? 70. Do you want to try to sleep our way through the Kama Sutra? 71. How many times can you go in one night? 72. Do you have dirty dreams about us? 73. Would you rather go at it every day, or have one explosive night a week? 74. What’s the wildest place you’d like to do it with me? 75. What did you think after our first night together? 76. What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve ever had? 77. What’s your favorite sex memory of us? 78. Going commando: Yes or no?

Dirty Texts for When They’re More Interested in “the Game”

79. Wanna score on me tonight?

80. I wouldn’t mind being tackled by you. 81. That was a great play, but I know a few better ones we can make later. 82. If you come upstairs, I’ll let you skip first and go straight for a home run. 83. What’s the bedroom equivalent of a three-pointer? 84. Think you can score a triple-double tonight?

Dirty Texts to Send After You Have Kids

85. The kids are asleep. 😉

86. The kids are staying with friends tonight. 87. Wanna lock the bedroom door tonight? 88. How about we go to bed and fire up a movie you can’t find on Disney+? 90. Wanna put on “Moana” and then sneak into the bathroom together? 91. Let’s name our next kid Towne and Country. (Or Tiguan, CRV, etc. The idea is that you’re initiating a quick vehicular getaway.) 92. Wanna extend the kids’ screen time tonight? (Pair this with a flirty emoji.) 93. After we put the kids to bed, can we *talk* about the way you looked in those jeans last night? 94. Let’s get a babysitter for the night. (Definitely feel free to drop a peach and/or eggplant emoji here.) 95. It’s been a long time since I had the chance to wear my favorite f*ck-me heels. Should I break them out tonight after the kids are asleep? 96. Quickie in the morning, quickie in the evening, quickie at supper time. Get my drift? 97. All these “Aladdin” viewings have me thinking about what happens when I rub your lamp. 98. Let’s “play.” 99. Meet you in the master closet in five? 100. Might need your help in the shower after the kids go to sleep tonight. 101. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away while you’re vacuuming. 102. Let’s make another baby. *wink* 103. We’re not in the Titanic, baby. I’m never letting go of your body. 104. Hands, shoulders, knees, and blows. Knees and blows.

Yep, Even More Dirty Texts

105. Ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey? Want to act out a few scenes?

106. I think I have a fever. I need you to touch me to see how hot I am. 107. I’m only wearing one article of clothing. Can you guess what it is? 108. What are you wearing right now? I miss seeing your hot bod naked. How about a little preview? 109. You must’ve done something to me. I can’t stop thinking and craving you all over my body. I want you on top of me right now. 110. Save some energy for me tonight. 111. I’ve been naughty with my workload/school today. Do you think I deserve to be punished? 112. Can you guess the color of my bra? If you get it right you can have anything you want. 113. After tonight, you’re not going to be able to move. 114. How come I’m always horny when you’re not around. Grrr! 115. If you were here right now, I would give you the *BLANK* of your life!