50+ Stampede-Causing, Crazy-Funny Cowboy Jokes And Puns

Howdy, partners! When you think of cowboys, you probably think of roping steer or blazing a trail through a rattlesnake-infested desert. While we doubt life on the range in the Wild West was full of fun and laughs, the word “cowboy” and the various accouterments they traveled with tend to make for some pretty hilarious cowboy jokes and puns. And knowing a little more history about these rugged ranch types gives the laughs a little more depth. So, we decided to wrangle up a few interesting facts for you.

Did you know that many cowboys were actually former Civil War soldiers from both sides of the war? It’s true. Unlike many westerns, cowboys weren’t solitary creatures, either. Nope. Instead, they traveled in groups of three to five, working together to herd cattle across whatever terrain they encountered. They took a cook with them, and each night that cook was in charge of turning the wagon toward the north star so they’d know which way to head out in the morning. Because cooks kept their cowboys fed and going in the right direction, most cowboys considered the cooks to be the real heroes. And those cowboy hats? They didn’t just protect our horsemen from the sun. Those hats were also used to scoop water from streams so that they could water their horses and grab a drink for themselves. From their chaps to their kerchiefs, nothing a cowboy wore was just for decoration: Everything served a purpose.

So, you see? There’s a lot more to cowboys than boots and spurs. Whether you’re on the farm, dreaming of the more nomadic life on the range, or simply entertaining your own little cowpoke around the dinner table, these cowboy jokes are sure to help you get along (little doggy).

Best Cowboy Jokes and Puns

1. I’m making a new cowboy film called The Sun.

It’s set in the west!

1. Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side?

So they can fit three in the pickup.

1. What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?

Hopalong Cassidy.

1. What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat?

Time to get a new cowboy hat!

1. What do cowboys call midnight?

High moon.

1. Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on?

He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

1. What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon?

“Yeet haw!”

1. How do you warm up a frozen cowboy? Yee thaw!
2. What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

1. What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe?

His horse is walking around in his socks.

1. What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy?

A saddle light dish.

1. Why do cowboys always ride horses?

Because they’re far too heavy to carry!

1. Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?

Just aboot.

1. What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

1. How do German cowboys greet each other?

“Audi, partner!”

1. How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?

A tractor beam.

1. Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?

Because he was always horsing around.

1. What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument?

“Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!”

1. A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.

I said, “Sure, that’s 20 cows.”

1. How did the cowboy save so much money?

His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.

1. Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?

Goth Brooks.

1. What do ghost cowboys wear?

BOO-ts!

1. Where do cowboys cook their beans?

On the range.

1. How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without turning around?

He herd them!

1. Why did the cowboy want to buy a dachshund?

To git along little doggie.

1. What did the young cowboy say when his sweet little dog went missing?

“Doggone!”

1. What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of farting?

“Darn tootin’.”

1. What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon?

A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

1. Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck?

He needed a pick up line.

1. If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?

The horse’s name is Friday!

1. What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car?

A cattle-lack.

1. Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who is the smartest?

The one in the middle because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.

1. How do cowboys keep their cattle quiet?

Press the moooote button!

1. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

“This ain’t my first rodeo.”

1. What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?

Reintarnation.

1. Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class?

Because they’re always rounding things up.

1. What illness can cowboys catch from their horses?

Bronc-itis.

1. What do you call a retired old cowboy?

De-ranged.

1. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?

He has got no beef.

1. Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple stirrups.

1. Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!”

He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a hambush.

1. A cowboy is riding on his horse in a desert. Suddenly, he sees a man lying down with his ear to the ground.

The man: “A carriage. Six horses. Three black, two brown, and one white.” The cowboy: “Wow! You can hear all of that?!” The man: “No, they just ran me over.”

1. What do you call a cowboy who works in finance?

The loan arranger.

1. A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit and paper hat.

He wasn’t in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

1. Why was the cowboy sad?

He couldn’t giddy-up.

1. Cowboys don’t roll…

They tumble.

1. What do you call a cowboy’s outfit?

Ranch dressing.

Dallas Cowboys Jokes

1. How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

1. Did you hear the Cowboys had a touchdown in Philadelphia yesterday?

It was at the airport!

1. What do the Dallas Cowboys and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?

Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

1. What do the Cowboys and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

1. What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?

The Dallas Cowboys.

1. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common?

Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

1. My vacuum broke, so I put a Dallas Cowboys sticker on it.

It sucks again.

1. Tornado warning in Dallas? Head to the Cowboys’ stadium.

There are never any touchdowns there.

1. What is the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby?

The baby will stop whining after a while.

1. How do you keep the Dallas Cowboys out of your yard?

Put up goal posts.

1. Never buy a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys store.

They won’t cover anyone.