Nailed It! Your Whole Family Will Dig These Construction Jokes

Kids are fascinated by construction work, similar to how they are with the police or with cowboys. It probably starts when those bright orange safety vests catch their attention. From there, it’s the giant orange and yellow equipment. Each machine does so many things that are interesting, weird, and fun, right? Then, of course, they realize how much construction involves “playing in the dirt.” From that moment on, their brains run on one track, and that track leads straight to the construction site. Or, ya know, the sandbox. Construction is loud and dirty and, at the end of the day, that’s what most toddlers want to be, too. (Note: That’s why they like farms, too.) So, given all of this, it should come as no surprise that kids love construction jokes and puns.

Of course, as adults, we know there’s more to construction than pushing around big piles of dirt. We know that not all construction is the same and that not everyone on a construction site falls under the same job title. It’s hard work! And it requires a lot of very smart people to make it all run smoothly and go from, say, a pit to a sky rise.

Still, your kiddo’s current fascination has brought you here — in need of some simple and funny jokes. Luckily for all of us, the internet is quite a resource. There’s literally nothing you can’t find jokes about (seriously, you can find funnies about fish, biology, pickles, IKEA, and more).

RELATED: 60+ Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes That Pack A Real Punch

Here you’ll even find that we’ve built up quite the collection of construction jokes.

Best Construction Jokes and Puns

1. The construction worker was discharged after being accused of murder.

There just wasn’t any concrete evidence.

1. What did the window glazier say when he cut himself on the window glass?

“This is extremely paneful!”

1. I have a friend who drives a steamroller.

He’s such a flatterer.

1. I just received “Employee of the Month” at my furniture construction company.

However, some people call me counterproductive.

1. What music do builders love listening to?

The Carpenters.

1. I have this great construction joke, but I’m still working on it.

I have to hammer out a few kinks and nail the delivery. I just don’t want to screw it up.

1. What do you hear if you take a construction worker’s hat off and hold it to your ear?

The OSHA.

1. I didn’t believe it when they told me my brother was a construction site thief.

But when I got home, the signs were there.

1. Which country has the best construction?

U-crane.

1. I used to be a drill operator…

But it was boring.

1. Last night, I watched a documentary about how they fix steel girders together.

Riveting!

1. My boss asked me to attach two pieces of wood together.

I nailed it!

1. My dad thought he made a good construction joke.

Unfortunately, there was absolutely no build-up.

1. I saw two construction workers having lunch together the other day. Do you know what they were building?

Friendship.

1. I just learned about the nonstop construction on Big Ben.

They really are working around the clock.

1. Did you hear the amazing story about the blind construction worker?

He picked up a hammer and saw.

1. After spending a semester of my engineering degree studying the construction of the channel tunnel…

I can reveal it was dug by a huge boring machine.

1. A construction worker walks into a bar, and orders a “stiff drink” after work.

Five minutes later, the bartender brings him a glass filled to the brim with cement.

1. How do you know if you have an issue with carpenter ants?

There are tiny cans scattered all over the site.

1. What do construction workers do at parties?

They raise the roof.

1. I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.

It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.

1. How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a construction worker?

Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

1. Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite.
2. The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge.

I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.

1. What is the tallest possible kind of building that man can build?

A library, because it easily has the most stories.

1. What is the lightest kind of building that you can construct?

A lighthouse.

1. Despite all these modern construction tools…

I think the shovel is the most groundbreaking.

1. Two dogs have a home construction business and work on the tops of houses together.

I guess you could say they work on woofs.

1. Why did the busybody roofer perform such a poor job on the building?

He was consistently eavesdropping.

1. Me: “I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.”

Friend: “Did you give them your too-weak notice?”

1. A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.

The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The construction worker replies, “One beer for me and one for the road.”

1. Why is Christmas day just like a day at a construction site?

You end up doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit takes all the credit.

1. I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning.

Turned out to be a pyramid scheme.

1. Today at the construction site we had an accident.

I was hit in the head by a can. Lucky for me, it was a soft drink.

1. Why did Santa get fired from his construction job? He kept coming down the chimney.
2. What do a construction worker and cheating spouse have in common? They’re both home wreckers.
3. Why did the construction worker dip his finger in blue ink?

To get a blueprint.

1. What type of construction are dogs good at?

Roofing.

1. What are the only two seasons in the Midwest?

Winter and construction.

1. Why do drills have no friends?

Because they’re always boring!