#BoycottKeurig May Be The Most Ridiculous Protest Yet

This comes after Keurig pulled ads from Sean Hannity’s FOX News show

Members of the more conservative arm of the Republican party sure do like their boycotts. They have put together a #Boycott for, among others: Target, Nordstrom, Amazon, and the entire state of Hawaii. These boycotts have been incredibly effective, as you know, with Nordstrom going bankrupt, Amazon vanishing from the web, and every island in Hawaii sinking into the sea (or none of the above). But they are going for it again, asking the more delusional part of the American public to boycott Keurig, the coffee maker company.

The outrage over Keurig began when the company decided yesterday to pull their ads from Sean Hannity’s show Hannity, which airs on Fox News. Last week, Hannity made excuses for Roy Moore, the Republican candidate for Senator from Alabama, who has been accused of making sexual advances toward children as young as 14 when he was in his early thirties. Moore has denied the allegations, calling The Washington Post story “an intentional act to stop a campaign.” And it is. Because most people don’t want to elect a pedophile to the Senate.

Sean Hannity decided to defend Moore, and it’s going just as well as you’d think. First, Hannity got into hot water for referring to Moore’s conduct with the teens “consensual,” though he later clarified that he talking about Moore’s relationships (when he was over 30, remember) with a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old, not the 14-year-old. Because that’s a lesser pedophilia offense, apparently.

Hannity, who seems to love playing Russian Roulette with morality, then interviewed Moore on his show to ask him about the allegations. Moore did a bang-up job defending himself, saying, when asked by Hannity if he remembers dating teenagers when he was past the age of 30: “Not generally, no.”

Great job, Grandpa. Now let’s find your pants and take you home.

At any rate, all of this “pro-men-over-30-dating-high-school-students” content has driven away some advertisers, including Keurig.

Boy oh boy, does the far-right hate this. They immediately took to Twitter, where #BoycottKeurig became the top trending hashtag on the site.

Ugh! I hate coffee that hates America.

The best tweets, however, came from those who encouraged Moore supporters to destroy their Keurig coffeemakers:

Now, we are all for people making their voices heard, but we’re not sure that these particular people understand that Keurig already has their money, and this not only doesn’t hurt the company but also leaves them without coffee until they shell out more money for a new coffeemaker.

Realtor.com also pulled their advertising from Hannity, so we suspect these same people will soon be burning down their houses in protest. Take that, real estate.

But never fear, good guys who don’t support pedophilia! There are just as many people out there celebrating Keurig in response to the boycott.

Attention Keurig boycotters: you might want some ice for that burn.

And then, of course, there’s this amazing final point:

Right?! There’s no doubt the latest “boycott” will be as ineffective as it is ridiculous.