10 Thoughts I Have While I Make My Kids’ Lunch

Presented by Mini Babybel^®

Packing lunches is right up there with bedtime when it comes to least favorite parenting chores. I’m sure I’m not alone with this. When I add up the approximately 6,472 lunches I will make throughout my kids’ childhoods, I seriously wonder what I was thinking having three children—especially when I have to make said lunches before the life-giving coffee kicks in. When my head isn’t pounding, there is a voice in my head that haunts me with thoughts about the lunch I am about to make. Here is what the voice says:

1. You should have done this last night. Why didn’t you do this last night?

2. How long has that bag of crackers been in there? *smell test* Perfectly good.

3. Is the slime on that turkey slice “going bad” turkey slime or normal turkey slime?

4. Does mustard count as a vegetable? Anything naturally yellow should count for at least half a vegetable.

5. They’re not going to eat the lettuce on the sandwich. You know they’re not going to eat the lettuce on the sandwich. They’re just going to pick the lettuce off of the sandwich, but put the lettuce on the sandwich anyway because vegetables.

6. Note to self: Don’t let mac and cheese sit in the Thermos overnight. Holy.

7. Protein? Check. Carbs? Check. Veggies? Check. Prepackaged cookies that will negate all of the healthy food and probably be the only thing they actually finish? Check.

8. Use-by date, sell-by date, best-by date—those are all just suggestions, right?

9. That dad who makes all of his kids’ bento box lunches look like elaborate scenes from the coolest kids’ movies? Yeah, that’s not me.

10. I should be that mom who leaves loving, handwritten notes in her kids’ lunches. Here’s what mine will say: “Darling child—I adore you more than you will ever know. Now eat your freaking lettuce. Love, Mom.”

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