Confessions of a Scary Mommy: Pre-Ordering Pays

Confession: I’ve never pre-ordered a book. Sadly, since I’ve had kids, I don’t read all that much and if I buy a book, it’s when I happen to be at a bookstore after at least five people have told me that I have to read that particular book. It then sits, unread, on my night table for months until I file it on a bookcase, never to pick it up again.

So, the fact that I am asking you to pre-order my book is rather unfair. I know. You could just as easily wait a month and deal with it then — what’s the point of ordering now? Well, funny you should ask! It’s how stores decide whether or not to carry it and it’s also how my publisher decides where to send me on my book tour (I’m hitting most of the East Coast, but would really like to get out west and to Texas. C’mon… I know you guys are reading!) Plus, it’s just ten bucks online and will be five dollars more in person and all pre-sales count towards the first week’s sales.

But, I know, it’s not all that convincing. Maybe this will help?

• If you pre-order the book before March 31, you are eligible for a hand-signed, limited edition bookplate and bookmark. (If you’ve already ordered the book, you’re eligible, too!) Just fill out this doc and expect your bookplate/bookmark in approximately eight weeks.

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• If you pre-order ten books for your book club (or group of friends or whatever) before March 31, you’ll get a Scary Mommy Book Club Pack. Included in the pack: 10 bookmarks, recipe cards for the Scary Mommy signature cocktail and dessert, 10 signed bookplates, 10 copies of the Scary Mommy Manifesto, 5 Scary Mommy cupcake toppers, and The Scary Mommy Confessions game. E-mail your receipt or screen shot of your order confirmation to confessionsofascarymommy@gmail.com

• If you pre-order 30 books before March 31, you’ll receive a Scary Mommy Party Pack. Use the pack for a kick ass baby shower, birthday party or girls night out. The party basket includes: The Scary Mommy Confessions game, 30 Scary Mommy cupcake toppers, recipe cards for the Scary Mommy signature cocktail and dessert, a Scary Mommy onsie, 30 signed bookplates, a shopping list of everything else you’ll need for the party, and a CD containing a downloadable invitation, door sign, place-cards and more. It’s the party I want to throw every single weekend and I think you’ll love it. E-mail your receipt or screen shot of your order confirmation to confessionsofascarymommy@gmail.com

I think even I would pre-order a book under these circumstances. There’s really just no reason not to… right?