Dino in the butt.
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    Okay, so I decided to venture over to the confessional to read for a little bit. I needed a break. 

    HOLY BALLS, LADIES! It is freaking nuts over there today....but there were a few confessions that struck me as absolutely, positively, gut busting hilarious. I realize that some of them are reactions that should have been posted here, but STILL. HYSTERICAL!! 

    Ok, so here it goes:

    What started it all was this, I think:
    #97946: I let my husband put our son's plastic dinosaur in my ass. Ouch. Never again.

    Then they proceed to discuss the difference in a dino and a beer bottle in the bunghole...and hilarity ensues.
    #97955: A plastic dinosuar trumps a beer bottle. Everyone and their mother has heard the beer bottle in ass story. 
    #97956: The beer bottles in my fridge are sobbing and hugging one another.
    #97967: Hmmm I WAS in the mood for a beer, now I can't stomach the thought. Wonder why??????
    #97976: I confess...I am still dumbfounded about where a beer bottle supposedly went. I am apparently the 1% on this particular story. Speechless.

    Now I know that I may just have a sick and twisted sense of humor, but OMFG I am rolling over here. I needed a good laugh. Thanks scary mommies!! I know a lot of us don't venture over to the confessional much and these were just too good not to share. :) Enjoy!


    community-manager


  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    LOL Theres another thread on the dino butt thing. I never go in the confessional so this is interesting, to say the least. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    lol. I needed that laugh!

    Also, I can get on board with lots of things as sex toys, but my kids toys are just off limits. lol. Ew. What do you do with it once it's over?
    deus ex machina
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    Hahahaha, the confessional totally killed my productivity this evening.  There were more, too.  Maybe they got flagged before you saw them...  #97955 was a reaction to someone saying something to the effect of "yeah well, I took a beer bottle up the ass, beat that!"  or something.  That's where the whole beer discussion came in.  It was too funny, the whole thing.  
    Usually I can't stand when people have conversations on the confessional, but today I couldn't look away.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    How does that even happen? You all were just doin stuff and saw the dino on the floor and said... hmmmm I wonder. BAM!

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    @ImWendy - someone said they hoped to god she threw it out.  I think it got flagged pretty quickly but I OMG Me Too'd the shit out of that one.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    I wanna know if he roared while he did it...
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I'm just DYING. I can't get over how hilarious I think this is. 

    I'm seriously staring at a grey, plastic t-rex right now and let me tell you...I'm not sure HOW that thing went up there, but OWIE. Those little stumpy arms? They must have tore that ass up. :/ 

    @MommyDearest, I had a feeling that's what happened based on the other reactions. I gotta say that a dinosaur beats a beer bottle, in my opinion. At least a beer bottle has a skinny, smooth neck. Still not putting one in my booty shoot though.

    community-manager


  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    OMG @mommydearest LMBO

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I dunno, but I bet she roared after he shoved that bastard up there. I mean honestly, OWWW. She's lucky she didn't end up in the ER having a doctor pull that sucker out with some sort of excavation tool. My butt hurts just thinking about this.

    community-manager


  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    You ladies are killing me! LOL

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I'm crying right now. My poor hubs is going to think I've totally lost my shit.

    community-manager


  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    #98023: I hope you threw away that dinosaur I would hate for your kid to play with it. 

    This one @mommydearest

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  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    I know, @Sammie, that's what I was thinking, we've all heard the story about the beer bottle and having to go the ER to get it pulled out, can you imagine a kid's dinosaur?!?  Lol, I'm sure she did roar, by the sounds of her confession she didn't like it one bit.

    I don't know if it was that one, is that all it said?  The one I OMG Me Too'd also called the lady a pig and I remember it because I wouldn't normally OMG Me Too something insulting, but it was that she said she hoped she threw it out that I was agreeing with. 
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I was REALLY hoping that was fake!  But I can't help but wonder - what kind of dinosaur?  I mean, a triceratops or a stegosaurus could do some serious damage!  LOL
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Extinction already killed off the dinosaurs in a pretty embarrassing fashion. Haven't they been through enough?
  • Just the thought of a toy Dino in my butt makes my butt hurt!!
    And a beer bottle too?

    I could never do anal (go ahead, call me a prude!) there ARE toys for your booty hole but are normally made by Adam & Eve... Not Fisher Price!!
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    I confessed the one about throwing it away I mean really could any decent human let their child play with it afterwards?
    not my chair, not my problem
  • TypoFaeryTypoFaery
    Posts: 1,936Member
    o.k ewww on it being the kids TOY. I couldnt even have sex in my kids ROOM let alone defile one of their toys. And can you imagine if she just cleaned it and there is Jr playing with it, possibly putting it in his mouth... O.k I need to go get the brain bleach to scrub that image from my head....

    Edit: I just told my husband about this thread and the look he just threw me was very akin to dramatic squirrel meets cannot unsee cat. I am dying over here.
  • I hope it was not a triceratops. 
  • SingleMomAgainSingleMomAgain
    Posts: 114Member
    I just peed all over myself laughing at this thread. And I was wearing a Poise! This is too funny!!!!
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    @typofaery, I told my husband and he was like 'You need to find new friends.' like it was my damn BFF shoving Toys R Us up her rump. Then he walked by me with Natalie's dino held to his butt saying 'Help me!' He's nuts!!

    @singlemomagain, sorry about the wet poise! This is hilarious though. :)

    community-manager


  • TypoFaeryTypoFaery
    Posts: 1,936Member
    @Sammie that sounds like something mine would do lol
  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    I always miss the good stuff! But seriously I don't know why everyone is so uptight about it. I have a small collection of stolen kid toys that I stick up my ass. What's the big deal????? lmao;)
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    @typofaery, I'm glad someone understands me. And him. ;) 

    @handtowellady, admit it. You're the dino lady huh? ;) Just kidding!! 

    community-manager


  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    No @Sammie I am more of a matchbox kind of gal!
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    OMG! LMFAO! You're killing me @handtowellady!

    Well since we are confessing...I've got my eye on ol' Thomas the Train. Chugga chugga choo chooooo! 

    community-manager


  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    This thread reminded me of an old Eddie Murphy bit...

  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    So I just went to the confessional to try and find these awesome confessions and all I saw was an argument about gays and the bible. I am NEVER around for the good stuff! I wanted to read about dino ass sex and beer bottles damnit!!
  • SingleMomAgainSingleMomAgain
    Posts: 114Member
    They've moved on to gays and the bible??? That is never going to end well.
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    Oh no. I'm glad you gave me the warning because I want NOTHING to do with that bullshit. See, I'm already getting worked up over here.

    EQUALITY FOR ALL!!! :)

    Now back to our regular scheduled programming...

    community-manager


  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    I just told my dh about it. Why should I be the only one going to bed with the visions of a t-rex up someones asshole?? Have a great night girls and thanks for the laughs!!!
  • I confess that #98100 is me :)
  • Messy_Hair_MommyMessy_Hair_Mommy
    Posts: 182Member
    Don't know if I could get turned on by something that I knew belongs to my child...that's yucky... Anal is fun...but not with yucky stuff...like children's toys...
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I think last night on the confessional is proof this place needs its own chatroom!

    ;))
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    I will never look at Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs in quite the same way again...
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 5,920Member
    This thread got even funnier overnight.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    Why would he even want to do that to her with a toy dino... And why the hell would she let him? U had to know it would hurt. All those spikes and arms and legs and tails. Was there absolutely nothing else around the house except a freakin dinosaur toy? Just trying to find the logic although I'm sure there is none. Pretty freakin funny though.
    ~slim shady~
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    LOL... I love how we think these things through, down the it's limbs and tail. 

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    I never even thought about the spikes @shadylane. I'd think that could cause some puncture wounds. Not good.

    community-manager


  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    You know that saying "sounds about as fun as a hole in the head." or "a Sharp stick in the eye."

    mine is now and forever "a dino in the butt."

    see SM has changed my life.
  • SingleMomAgainSingleMomAgain
    Posts: 114Member
    HAHAHAHA!  That made me chuckle @breezy  I'm soooo going to get caught reading SM at work!
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    Social research! @singlemomagain .. that's what I tell 'em. ;)
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    Ex: the gay argument thread is about as fun as a dino in the butt.

    @shitdoesstink @singlemomagain lol.
  • I say there are at least 3 polly pockets in there
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    Lmao
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    If you're facebook pals with me, you will crack up at my recent pic. Bug wanted to give her dinos a sink bath today. So we did. I knew all the SM's would have their mind in the gutter when they saw it. Lol. I sent the pic to Hubby and he said 'Oh no. Should I even ask?' The 'butt dino' is a household name! Maybe we need to market a booty friendly dino? We'll be rich!! Lmao

    community-manager


  • AnonUser23
    Posts: 2,270Guest
    If you have a daughter - littlest pet shops? zoobles? you could start of with squinkies? those are small and soft! I have to be fb friends with you @Sammie lol how do I find you???
  • AnonUser24
    Posts: 2,594Guest
    You guys! Maybe it was a long neck! Its smooth and narrow...
  • TypoFaeryTypoFaery
    Posts: 1,936Member
    O.k my brain just went into zuzu pet country, we now have an old gerbil up the butt joke and a new one with toys.. we have come full circle...