Imponderables
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member

    There are small mysteries in this world that I encounter frequently and wonder about but will never solve, such as:

    When you put six socks in the wash and only five come out of the dryer, where does the sixth one go? Is there some sort of black hole in my dryer that only swallows socks? And does that mean that somewhere in the universe there is a white hole spewing non-matching foot coverings?


    Also: We have a half-dozen boxes of kleenex scattered all over the house in rooms where we don't spend equal amounts of time and don't do equal amounts of sneezing. How do they always manage to empty out at the same time?  


    So, ladies, what mysteries do you ponder?

    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
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  • How your favorite plate/serving dish breaks but the one you got from great aunt so and so that is ugly as hell and you hate it never gets a scratch.
  • NoMoreMonkeysNoMoreMonkeys
    Posts: 533Member
    Why can't I poop alone?
  • why do light bulbs burn out when the stores are closed?
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    @shitdoesstink, you got that right! "If you love something, let it go." Why? It's going to get taken away from me regardless!
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    Why no one else can change out the trash bag...

    Where the fuck all my spoons disappear to...

    Ditto on the socks !

    Ditto on the kids acting like wild animals, but "Oh your kids mind so WELL"

    My oldest son says "I love you Momma" EVERY time he enters the room. My BFF says that's because he's afraid NOT to :D  I wonder if that's true...

    I wonder why DH only realizes he needs a towel, and that there aren't any, AFTER he's already in the shower... EVERY time.




    community-manager


  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    Oh my gosh @love, your son really does that? That seriously melts my heart. What a sweet boy!

    My DH also calls for towels and TP AFTER the fact.

    I want to know 'Where are all of our GD coffee mugs and drinking glasses?' I'm going to start watching DH leave for work to see if he has one in hand. He swears he doesn't, yet he drinks coffee in the morning and there isn't a cup in the sink and we have NO cups. GRRRR!!

    Why my keys are NEVER where I left them? I swear they have legs.

    community-manager


  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Why is it that whenever I can't find something, it's always right where it should be? Maybe because I just assume it can't possibly be where it belongs, so I don't even check there before I start ransacking the place.
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • monstamomonstamo
    Posts: 486Member
    The remote control disappears hourly and reappears under my ass!
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    Why do my kids never need anything until I am busy?

    Why does my son feel the need to jump on the trampoline naked?

    How is it that my child can remember exactly where in the yard he hid the charger but has no clue where he put his shoes?
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @Love  For spoons, check between the stove and fridge/counter.  Also, are your kids getting themselves snacks and then accidentally throwing them away?  Mine do that occasionally without thinking.  They're tossing the pudding cup (or whatever) away, so the spoon goes with it. 

    I'd like to know everyone in my house has perfect hearing, but as soon as the TV is turned on they have to turn the volume way up?

    I'd also like to know why my Halloween candy has been opened and some of it is missing.  I sure as hell didn't do it, and I can't get a straight answer from anyone.  I even made them breathe on me to check for a whiff of peanut butter, and they all passed the test.  Little farts.  Now since it's opened, I have to have one.  Or 5.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Why do they stop making every product I fall in love with?

    Why does my toddler poop the moment I a) put a new diaper on her or b) put her in the tub?

    Why do I always wake up feeling like shit on days when I have a to-do list a mile long?

    Why do kids always sustain some sort of facial injury right before school picture day?

     
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    is there some kind of force field around my hamper that only i can penetrate with dirty laundry? dh and sometimes kids seem to only be able to get clothes on the floor right next to it, but somehow, i always manage to get them in the hamper........

    how come no matter what time of day it is, i end up with a lukewarm borderline cool shower, while dh has a hot, steamy experience everytime he gets in there? same with kids, their baths are always "too hot! turn it cooler!"  no matter if i get in first, at 2am, it never fails...

    why am i the only one who can think of a idea for dinner? i hear all kinds of complaints, but never any suggestions...

    do i really and truly have extra super hearing abilities, or is dh just really fucking deaf? i can hear the kids breathing while they sleep 3 rooms away, yet they can be fighting/screaming/yelling right next to dh and he is completely oblivious to it

    how come i'm always the one to step on that gosh dang toy in the middle of the floor at night or trips over dh's shoes the one friggin day I don't move the crap out of the way?

    why is it that i have sub

     

  • ScaryMommyScaryMommy
    Posts: 4,481Administrator
    Why does it seem like the days last forFREAKINGever, but the years fly by?
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Why do bra designs change so frequently (in only minute ways) so that I can't get the same design and fit I did the last time I had to buy one?


    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    Why is it that I fill my gas tank on my way home and then the next time I go to drive it I'm out of gas?

    How is it possible that I can try on a dress in the store and think I look pretty cute, then get home, put it on to wear somewhere and realize I look down right ridiculous?

    Seriously. Where do those damn socks disappear to in the wash?

    Why does it take my husband 45 minutes to take a crap and me only about 2?




  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    My mother drives me crazy, so how the hell did I end up exactly like her?
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @Gingersnap  Isn't that annoying about the bras??  I usually buy one new one a year (a cheap one from Walmart, but I've been wearing the same style for several years).  The last one I bought, I already knew the design and size, so I just bought it.  I got home and they've changed the material on it and it's not nearly supportive enough.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    @emmaoremmy - I have a new method. I buy one, wear it for a week, and if I like it, I buy three or four more. Problem is finding the three or four more. I sometimes have to buy via the internet. I can rarely find the exact same thing a few years later.

    Yes. I am old and a creature of habit. I don't want new and different. I want reliable and proven. sigh
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Why is it that unexpected large expenses happen concurrently? Or does it just seem that way?

    Examples: the car breaks down and the septic tank needs to be replaced. The sump pump dies and the furnace needs repairs. 
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    how is it that i painstakingly read minds to deduce what it is people in my house MIGHT want to eat before i go grocery shopping every week, and after i put away $200 of food away "there's nothing to eat!"          
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    Why is it that I always have too many lids but can't find a bowl to go with the lid?
    Why is it we save money and something goes wrong and ta da it cost the exact amount of money we saved?
    not my chair, not my problem
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    @onmylastnerve

    oh, good, i'm not the only one with a shelf full of tupperware lids to bowls that i can't find. or lids that fit nothing.

  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    @Onmylastnerve and @Mammatroll SAME HERE. I have a cabinet full of lids. I have no clue what they go to.

    community-manager


  • jeorgee
    Posts: 7Member
    Why everyone takes their shit out on me! Whenever my kids have had a bad day they come home and grump the day out of me!
    -also no one else changes the toilet paper roll!
    -no one else takes clothes, and shit up the stairs--it could be sitting there for weeks!
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @jeorgee  I feel your pain with the clothes.  I'll put my husband's clothes on his computer chair, thinking he HAS to put them away if he wants to sit down.  He'll take the whole pile and put it on the floor next to his desk and when he needs something to wear, he'll get it from the pile.  The closet is 15 feet away!!!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Why is it that the person who stirs up a shitstorm gets all the attention, when those who really need it are ignored?

    Why is it that *just* when ive finished doing laundry, 10mins later, theres 6 more loads to do?

    Ditto on the lids, abso-freakin-lutely. Bf keeps trying to throw them out, and i wont let him, i will find the tubs if it kills me lol

    Also what happened today- why is it that i make a batch of cupcakes every few days, or at least once a week and when i tried to make some to bring to a playdate yesterday, they didnt rise, then when i tried to bring some to a harvest festival this morning? they didnt rise. I get home and make some for having at home over the weekend? they rise perfectly! It was the EXACT same recipe, same eggs, same flour, same butter, all of it.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @irishlass  Did you forget and leave out the leavening by mistake?  That's the only thing I can think! 
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Nope! i was so careful, because they were for an occassion!! I distinctly remember putting every single thing in. and i didnt even put in choc chips or anything, i know that makes the mixture heavier! it was just one of those freakish events.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    That's really weird!  Did you use old eggs maybe, and then open a fresh dozen for the batch you made at home?
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    Nope, exact same ingredients!! Same stick of butter, same dozen eggs, absolutely everything lol I think the ones i made earlier, the eggs were a little on the larger side and i thought that might have been it? but i compensated by putting a touch extra flour and everything! Seriously, lifes great mysteries...
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    @irishlass, I read something once about a baker in Paris who swore that once or twice a year, even though he didn't do anything different to his bread, it just wouldn't rise. His theory was barometric pressure or something.

    Here's one from my days as a student: how come when you've got a ton of work to do and absolutely need to be studying, there will be literally dozens of fascinating programs on TV, yet when you've finally written your last exam and can relax, guilt-free, in front of the TV, there's nothing but stupid shit on?
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @fatchickonabike  That makes sense.  I know when I bake any type of yeast bread when it's humid outside, I always end up using a little more flour.  Was it really rainy/humid that day, @irishlass?
  • mommyofjs
    Posts: 22Member
    Why am I the only one to pick up the small broken pieces of soap out the shower .

    I'm the only one to change a roll of tissue, refill soap dispensers, and the papertowels!

    A mysterious pile of clothes appears AFTER I've done all the laundry?
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Why is it that when I put two weeks worth of towels and washcloths in the bathroom, they are all dirty after four days?
  • UrJokinMeRight
    Posts: 36Member
    How is it that I have so much energy when I'm not at home but when I come home I have no energy to do anything that really needs doing but I can save the world just by sitting at my computer.


  • How is it that I never have enough time to get everything done on a long weekend, but on a short weekend, I can get all of my chores done PLUS dh's chores?

    Why is it that DH is great at remodeling, up to the finishing touches? For instance painting a room, but not putting the light switch plates back on...

    Why is my dd always naked, even though I KNOW I dressed her?

    How did ds wear socks every day this week, yet I only had 2 pairs of his socks in the wash?

    Why does the dog chew up diapers when he is mad at me? What, a dh and 2 kids tempers arent enough?

    Why did i quit my job to stay home more, only to end up with a job with more hours?
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    @emmaoremmy, its Ireland, its always rainy lol it has been particularly rainy for a few days, but its cold and rainy, as per usual, and they worked later in the day!

    I would like to know why it is that *just* after ive hoovered, somebody drops a bit of biscuit and stands in it and walks it all round the house?
    Also why when there is one single programme on tv that i want to watch, the only one aaallll week, B decides to refuse to go to sleep and call 'muuummmmmmmeeeeeeeee, muuuuuuummmmmmeeeee' like a foghorn for 20mins so i miss the programme?
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • Abila83
    Posts: 82Member
    Where do all the damn puzzle pieces go?! There is a piece missing out of nearly every single puzzle.

    Why will my boys not eat the extremely tasty peanut butter play dough I make them ("no mommy, it's too weird.") but they'd chow down on regular store bought play dough if I didn't stop them. It's disgusting!

    Ditto on the facial injuries before pictures. They aren't in school yet but seriously, the second I make an appointment, *BAM* one of them falls on the concrete or slams their face into something. Geez.

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  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    I'd like to know why the hell as soon as I'm looking for even the most mundane product, every single one of whatever it is will instantly disappear out of every store on the face of the earth?
    I'm trying to find a new boot tray (see the Spam thread if you're interested in why). I have been to two stores so far. If I wanted a mat, I could have them coming out my ass, but a frigging tray? No such animal all of a sudden.

    And this happens to me ALL THE TIME!
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    Why is it that no matter what I'm looking for (pen, business card, keys, shopping list) it's ALWAYS in the bottom of my purse, buried under everything else?
  • @fatchickonabike  Did you try Can Tire?  If not I know a lot of dollar stores have them too.


    Why is it the minute I get ready to leave there are a million things to do before I leave.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Yes, Wal-Mart and Can Tire are the two I've hit so far. I thought for sure I'd find something at Can Tire, but no dice. Grumble grumble bitch piss moan
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    Why am I the only person that knows where "it" is?

    Where are those socks at?!

    Who did it?! If it wasn't any of you who the fuck was it?!

    You're to tired for the bath but you have been terrorizing my house like a monkey with rabies for the last hour?!

    Where are my tweezers, buckets, sissors, or scotch tape?!

  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    How can I be too tired to go to bed?
    deus ex machina
  • sanityseekersanityseeker
    Posts: 3,404Member
    @ImWendy AMEN to that please let me know if you figure it out lol
    "If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear?" -Castiel
    "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.” -Dobby
    Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.
  • Momoftheyear
    Posts: 7Member
    Why is it that everytime I need to be away from home on the weekend, DH calls his mommy to babysit? Man up and take care of your own kids!


  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Why do i always find more dirty dishes after i have already started the dishwasher? could have sworn I checked every room  but a glass or bowl magically appears only after the machine is humming along in it's wash cycle.
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @idcwife  I know, right?!  I can *scour* the house for missing cups, bowls, etc. and the second I push the start button, the magically appear on the counter.