my daughter's periods are going to be the death of one of us
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    i have the SWEETEST, NICEST, LOVING, thoughtful, artist, hardworking, sincere, intellegent and beautiful 17 YO daughter........except for 9 days a month. she drives me CRAZY. i don't know WTF i'm going to do. 99% of the problems i have with her those 9 freakin' days didn't even START until she started birth control last year. she tried 2 different pills (one was yaz) and we finally settled on neuvoring because it had such a low dose of hormones. i don't want to get her an IUD because i had so many problems with mine---i don't want her to have them. genetically, the kid's almost my mini-me......she has sperm donor's coloring, but my features, interests, build, etc.

    taking her off all birth control is NOT an option. i'm at the point that I want to have my own appointment with our OB-GYN and talk to him, and THEN we both go in together......

    those 9 days, she goes from incredibly irritable & rude, anxious, teary, angry, (and weird cravings, water-weight, etc DO NOT help!)..asks me questions about stuff, interrupts me up 14 times (i counted), and then when i finally get to spit out the answer, she ARGUES WITH ME! so.......if you don't like the answer, why the hell did you ask?!?!? everything makes her mad, or makes her cry, or both! slamming doors, when i ask her to do one stupid little thing for me----gets mad and asks me why can't i do it, since i'm on the computer all day..................................................excuse me, little girl?

    if i was on the computer all day, how did i manage to do 4 loads of laundry, do most of the cleaning in your room, your brother's room, pick you up at one school at 9 every day,, take you to the other school (every day), clean the kitchen 4 times, sweep the house, be at my friend's house an hour a day (the one that broke her hip last year) clean up YOUR shit you leave lying around more than twice a day, take your lunch to school that you forgot, make sure your uniform was clean, take you to work, make dinner every night, clean the kitchen AGAIN every night--------------in the last 2 fucking days? and by the way, who the hell do you think you're talking to? you aren't too big for me to whack your ass right now! you will NOT speak to your mother that way. next time you do, find YOUR OWN ride to work! after i whack you!      and truly, if she's not PMSing or on her period, i don't have this crap! she's an angel! (other than destryoing the kitchen, and leaving a path of all her crap like a little snail or something)

    and she starts sobbing................................oh....my....GOD.......i'm having a drink right now.....and almost regretting throwing away some of my FIL's meds!

    WTF? and this shit is ONLY those 9 days a month..................anyone have any suggestions? i'm pretty sure it's the birth control. there HAS TO BE something else, with a very low dose of hormones................because i'm tellinng you right now, she won't live to see menopause if i have to keep dealing with this shit....................because i am going to LOSE IT. and go postal on my precious and sweet little bunny rabbit.

  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    Disclaimer: I don't have a teenage daughter.

    Videotape her and play it back when she's not PMSing? Talk to her when she's not PMSing? Tell her your concerns (without the death threat).
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    Have you ever heard of PMDD? It's a severe form of PMS. From what you describe, that's not what she has. She doesn't fit all the symptoms by any means, but it could just be that her PMS is more extreme than most. Each woman's body responds differently to the change in hormones and such that accompanies their period. That's why some women note zero change in their behavior and some women have EXTREME PMS. I would definitely make an appt with the OB/GYN. Make a list of her symptoms. Explain to him exactly when they start and subside, etc. Maybe they will change her BC? I'm not really sure what route they would take, but it is most definitely worth a visit for BOTH of your safety ;)

    community-manager


  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    well, the thing is, i can make her even more self-concious--which would be a bad thing---but it's not going to help the hormones......if it's consistently just those 9 days (which i've charted), and never any other time, it has to be hormonal......i don't think this is behavioral. this isn't just "she's a kid & hasn't figured out how to behave" she is a COMPLETELY different person..............and, i have no problems sharing death threats. they're teenagers.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    there HAS to be a form of birth control she can tolerate......................................it's like being on birth control has TRIGGERED PMDD........................
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    I didn't mean to imply that it's a behavioral problem. Just that she might want to know your concerns about her PMS/hormone issue.
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator
    That CAN happen @mammatroll. Each type of BC reacts differently with each woman. Sometimes certain BC will make someone's non-existent PMS turn into PMDD. Or someone with terrible PMS switches BC and notes a drastic change in symptoms. It definitely sounds like that is the case here. You have it pinpointed around her cycle, so it is definitely hormonal.

    community-manager


  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    @gingersnap----oh, i know. i know what you meant. and i think if she wasn't already so self-concious, it would be helpful. but she would be SO embarassed and horrified it would do more harm than good. we have "stress phrases"

    ex: get a hold of yourself right now or i am going to beat you with packages of chocolate chips and potato chips until you come to your senses----------------yes, that actually came out of my mouth.

    no, i would never mistreat chocolate that way.

  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 10,374Administrator, Moderator
    Have you tried Midol, or Tylenol Menstrual? I don't know how but it totally helps me, no mood swings, I seldom have cramps, it's amazing! 

    Totally feel for you!!!! I grew up in a house with four girls (myself, two sisters and my mom). My dad and brother would HIDE during "that time of the month"! I could hardly stand myself when I was my PMS'ing! 

    community-manager


  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member

    Yaz did the same thing to me...All birth control does but Yaz as BAD! I told my doc and she said it was suppose to do the opposite...blah, blah, blah. I just quit taking birth control altogether but previously one that worked for me was the patch. I don't know why that one never messed with me like the rest but it was litterally the only one i could handle for more than 2 months.


    And I agree with @CanadianMama Midol works like a champ. There is also this lotion that is homeopathic (sp?) that is suppose to help and a tea. B vitamins help with mood and energy levels.


    my dd is totally pms-y and has 0 energy but cant stand to be around any of us so she hangs out in her room...thank God!

  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    i have all of that stuff. we have midol, tylenol menstrual, presym, and another one.......which worked just fine until she started her birth control. i'm considering sedatives, chocolate ice cream and a large rubber mallet.
  • breezybreezy
    Posts: 3,465Member
    Lol! Put a t.v. in her room maybe she will hid.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    she's @ work (her internship)........................i will let the heavily tatooed ex-con mexican chef deal with her.....(he's actually a great guy and has taught her a lot. with my luck, he's terribly frightened.) and then spending the night with her BFF.

    the worst part i guess i can chalk up to empathy, because we are really close, and very much alike.....when she's like that, i start feeling angry and moody and irrational and anxious, and i'm the one who has to be in control, calm, the grown-up, etc---but jeez, she broadcasts like a damn radio tower!

    ex: not 10 minutes ago i was listening to shinedown "crow and the butterfly" and about to start bawling over every damn pet i ever had (and the neighbor's late dog).......................keep your damn estrogen to yerself, young 'un!

  • AnonUser37
    Posts: 1,741Member
    I thoughts my organic homeopathic best friends mom was nuts, but she suggested taking fish oil (omega 3) supplements because my birth control made my pms so terrible and NOT taking it was not an option for me. It worked. I still got cramps and a bit bloated (but way less that before) but the mood swings, anger, tears, uncontrollable emotions were gone.
    I used to scare my coworkers so badly I think they may have charted t out in the men's locker room so they'd know when to avoid me lol pmsing and a gun.....scary shit lol
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member

    @MommaCop, you just reminded me of another (natural) PMS remedy. Actually, two: one is evening primrose oil, which if I'm not mistaken also has a lot of omega 3s in it; the other is calcium. Take 1,000 mg of calcium a day (preferably with vitamin D) and you should see an improvement in PMS symptoms within 6-8 weeks. (Two cycles, in other words). I did the calcium thing and it really worked for me.


    And yeah, PMS and a gun can't end well!

    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    well, i'll try both those suggestions..........and, hopefully we'll both survive that long.
  • fatchickonabikefatchickonabike
    Posts: 6,590Member
    Oh, yeah, and I just remembered something else: one year, I ran out of calcium supplements in mid-December and was too busy with the holiday prep to buy more. I got my period on Christmas Eve. I had the worst PMS symptoms EVER. So if you put your daughter on it, make sure she keeps taking it or there will be hell to pay. (That was a really fun Christmas).
    Part of growing up is learning to forgive your parents for being human.
  • lissalou
    Posts: 38Member

    My daughter is only six but I can tell you from my view when I was a teen. My mom didnt understand, she had perfect 3-5 day periods with almost no symptoms. I however went anywhere from 9-14 days, had to use those stayfree overnight diaper sized pads and OMG my emotions were all over the place. I was argumentive, then felt like she was being mean. I bloated and nothing fit right and went to school so embarassed about it, etc etc.

    I was on several different B/C pills trying to just control my periods. Finally my aunt took me to the GYN. I cant remember the brand name, but he did finally find a pill that helped. I know, im not really helping, but definately a trip to the dr would be in order. If she doesnt want you in the room with her, ask the dr for some time before the appt so you can explain all the symptoms to him ahead of time. (((hugs))

  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    around the holidays, DH gets his period......generally by christmas eve night he's sulking or passed out, i'm pissed, and have one eye closed while i wrap the presents all by myself and muttering about taking a couple of those tamales i spent all day making & "shovin' up yer f..........................."
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @lisalou---no, it is helpful......and i have a secret DD period journal she doesn't know about, with pages and dates marked on the bad days that i'm taking to the doctor with me......wish all the other chuckleheaded doctors were 1/2 as good as my ob gyn.....
  • lissalou
    Posts: 38Member
    The journal sounds like an awesome idea. He will be able to see her cycle lengths, note anything that might point to depression, PMDD, anything. Have an extra glass of wine tonight, you deserve it. =D>
  • emmaoremmyemmaoremmy
    Posts: 1,313Member
    @mamatroll  Have you thought about one of those bc pills that makes you get your period only 4 times a year?  seasonale I think it's called?  I took the pill for several years, but it was only to regular my menstrual cycle because I was overweight at the time and wasn't having regular periods.  I think it was Orthotricyclin?  This has been probably 20 years ago, so I can't be sure.  I don't mean to sound nosey, but is she on bc because she's sexually active, or is it for other medical reasons?  If it's to prevent pregnancy, can't her boyfriend use condoms instead?  And good thinking on not going the IUD route.  They're great, but not recommended for women who haven't had kids yet because they're more likely to perforate the uterus.  :( 
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    orthotricyclin was the 1st one she tried. she gained 8 lbs of water weight in 2 days--freaked me out because it's really bad for your body & your heart to gain or lose weight that quickly. also, it was scary how it affected her moods.  they market seasonale like it's a big thing, they just have fewer placebo pills. and my daughter is CONVINCED that she has to have a period every month, she thinks it'll "build up"--i've explained all that her, but she's convinced she has to have her period. hell, she could leave her neuvoring in for 4 weeks, and just put in a new one, but she won't.

    she's on birth control because her cycle is so wacky, and she's since become sexually active. there's no way i would trust a teenage boy to use condoms correctly every single time.......and i got pregnant with both my kids using condoms as birth control....he uses condoms anyway, but because i've threatened his life.

  • mericksmom
    Posts: 388Member
    Look into Vitex too.  I dont have the major mood swings but it help regulate the hormones and your cycle. 
  • sparkles2307sparkles2307
    Posts: 64Member
    My high school BFF told me that when I switched BC brands (doctor wanted to try it) I became an intollerable bitch.  He also noticed right away when I went on another brand that it mellowed me out beyond even my normal mellow behavior.  I stayed on that one for years. 
  • BookMum
    Posts: 711Member
    Dont let the low dose of NuvaRing trick you...its progesterone based and it made my body freak the hell out, emotionally and physically. I gained like 15 pounds.
    I have one daughter who is 7...thoughts of tne teen years scare me.
    Good luck!
    I shall futterwacken...vigorously*
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    I'm with everyone saying it's the BC method. I've been on different types and was depressed, suicidal, gained a ton of weight....awful. I was so glad when I didn't have to use it anymore.

    My DD is 17 and yeah when we are cycling together it is NOT PRETTY. Kinda like WWF and we have to stay away from each other. And she is an awesome wonderful girl too when she's not hormonal.

    Any way she can be on a non-hormonal BC like the sponge? Ugh I am dreading this myself because I want DD to be on BC before she goes to college but there are so many risks/side effects.

    I hope you find some answers *HUGS* mama!!
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    She broke up with her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, so she isn't using any birth control, and I am keeping red raspberry leaf tea and ginger tea in the house......i dont know....we are doing some research on things while her body is taking a break.
    i'm nekkid.
  • bombkittybombkitty
    Posts: 306Member
    Poor thing.  I had the WORST PMS and cramps, took me out of commission for 7-10 days a month.  I did get a bit of relief from Evening Primrose Oil and also took Black Cohosh.  She should definitely be able to try another BC pill with a different hormone lineup.  That OrthoTri was awful for me.  I also tried LoEstrin.  Depo Provera was awful.  
    What rotten luck.  I cringe to think of what my daughter is going to be like in 10 years or so...WWIII?
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    I am dreading when she gets back on birth control. She was like 6 different people....and 4 of them were bitches, and the 5th had to cry about it all the time.
    i'm nekkid.
  • mommy2brooklynmommy2brooklyn
    Posts: 103Member

    I don't have periods on my own. I have to take Prometrium for 2 weeks every 4 months in order to trigger a period. My OB GYN said that 3-4 periods a year is perfectly normal and safe. I've been doing this for 6-7 years with no issues. Maybe your OB GYN can talk to her personally and explain that it's totally ok? And yes, please talk to your Dr. Something has got to give. Imagine her in college with a crazy roommate and incredibly hard classes all while she's away from home. That will be just awful with those mood swings! Hopefully you can get it fixed soon!

  • Kenb
    Posts: 84Member
    WOW!!! ill keep you in my prayers. :(