kids caught us having sex
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    There have been a lot of confessions about this lately. Some of us think it's weird, some of us think it's no big deal. 
    My personal opinion is this: What kind of message do you think it sends to a child, when they walk into the room or wake up or whatever the situation may be, and witness their parents having sex, and both adults freak out, trying desperately to cover themselves? Shouldn't we be teaching our children to love their bodies, and not be ashamed of this beautiful act that our bodies were MADE FOR? Shouldn't we explain to our children that mommy and daddy love each other, and this is the way they show it? Shouldn't we celebrate ourselves, not hide in shame? 
    Because I think that's where dangerous taboos come in. What happens to the little girl who is taught to be ashamed of being curious about her body, that these curiosities are wrong instead of COMPLETELY NATURAL? Isn't she going to end up with messed up body image and have sex too early (like many of us did, weren't we just talking about that too?) and all manner of issues later on in life? 
    Why are we all so scared of sex and our bodies and what it means to be these sexual beings? What would happen if our children were taught to celebrate instead of hide? What would happen if we told them it was okay to explore their own bodies, instead of telling them that touching is wrong? Why can't sex be a beautiful expression of love instead of something we have to hide from our kids for fear of TRAUMATIZING them?
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    Agreed.
    deus ex machina
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    Agreed.

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,718Confessional Manager
    You make a good point @four_winds

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I think they're LESS likely to have sex young if some of the mystery is taken out, just about their own bodies. isn't it the children who are uneducated and susceptible to peer pressure that have sex too early? it's like alcohol, I think. the more mystery, the more curiosity, the more propensity to experiment and the less open and communicative the parents are, the earlier the kid will do it, and LIE about it. don't you think? 
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,529Member
    I agree with anon whoever. A lot of it is the mystery of it all. The other part is hormones. Hormones happen and teenagers will have sex no matter how much we try to stop them
    deus ex machina
  • AnonUser24
    Posts: 2,594Guest
    Yes @anon!!! Excellent point. I will totally keep that in mind when my daughter is old enough to notice what we are doing if she walks in.
  • MazzyMazzy
    Posts: 130Member
    I know here in Maryland they start the basics of sex ed in 5th grade, mostly about hygiene and what happens to the body during puberty.  I dont think the real stuff starts until middle school..which are ages 10/11,11/12, 12/13.

    I have to think that maturity is also a big part in understanding sex. 
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    I agree with the OP. I don't think its a troll. BTW we never had the SEX talk at school (and I never had it at home either). Just talk about getting your period.
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 7,953Member
    We started with the discussion of puberty in 6th grade when I was in school...and learned the biology of how a baby is made. We didn't get into sex ed until 9th grade Health class.
    As for my parents having the talk...my mom tried to have that chat with me in 7th or 8th grade and I laughed. I asked if had ever read the permission slips she signed for class trips and she replied that didn't 't really. We used to go to one of the bigger local hospitals to learn more about puberty, our bodies during it and how pregnancies happen (all of which was very clinical and not very snicker worthy at all). She was off the hook on that one! LOL
    "I don't poop. I create magic."- ABC

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

    For every loser there's one that has to win. So bite your tongue, grit your teeth and grin...
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    i don't think it's a bad thing to cover yourself if a kid walked walked in--just explain that it's a private thing that grown-ups do. i don't think it has to be a "shame" issue, but it ISN'T a spectator sport. i don't think it's a good thing to expose kids to sexual things, they don't have the emotional maturity to sort that stuff out. nudity and sex are different things. nudity? sure. but not any more.

    that was DEFINATELY not me.

    as far as masturbation, i told my kids they have to wash their hands before & after, and it's a PRIVATE thing. i don't want to see it. (and to the boy, you clean up after yourself)

  • NoMoreMonkeysNoMoreMonkeys
    Posts: 533Member
    I have to agree with @mammatroll.  It's a private thing, not a shameful thing.  Kids do need a better talk than "do you have any questions?"....but they don't need to watch mom and dad.  We fixed the problem by installing a slide lock on the inside of our bedroom door.  It's really a non issue in my house right now as SO is not putting out very often, but it's there just in case.  It's a far cry from the days when he would try to molest me while I was breastfeeding.....
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074

    i definately don't think little kids should be learning about sex by watching it. it's not appropriate, and not good for them. i think the 60's and 70's proved that. 

    i think what you are talking about are 2 different issues (body shame and healthy sexuality), because i'm pretty sure you don't mean performing sex in front of your kids.......sex IS a beautiful expression of love, but it definately does not need to be tied up with feelings about your parents. that's just a psychological recipie for disaster.