I found this article at http://www.everydayfamily.com/the-beginning-signs-of-abuse/?utm_medium=rss&utm_source=outbrain&utm_campaign=articles&tc=120043&subid=articles&utm_term=foreign

and I know many ladies on here struggle or have struggled with difficult/abusive relationships, so I thought it might be useful here.

When we choose to be in a relationship with someone, it’s never because we’re attracted to a less-than-admirable quality; it’s because we see something that we value. But what happens when the time arrives where your partner’s true colors can no longer be hidden? What if your partner starts to demonstrate attributes that cause you to have reservations, or even fear?

We all have the right to be treated with respect and kindness. Whether you believe it or not, we do. No one has the right to belittle you with words, or bruise you with hands. No one has the right to use threats to get you to do what they want. If you’re in an abusive relationship, you might not even realize it. Sometimes someone has to point it out to you, and other times you might just realize it once you’re removed from the situation for a little while. If you lack self-esteem, ask yourself “why?” And if you constantly feel guilty, again, ask yourself “why?” Abusive people feel the need to gain complete control and they’ll intimidate you, threaten you, and make you afraid of them in order to gain it.

A child, woman, or man can all be subjected to abuse. It can happen to anyone. Abuse, whether it’s physical or emotional, all too often gets excused, especially the emotional kind. Because it only scars one’s insides and diminishes the spirit, it’s easier to dismiss.

The following questions are tell-tale signs of abusive relationships, from helpguide.org.

Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings
Do you:

• feel afraid of your partner most of the time?
• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
• feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• wonder if you’re the one that’s crazy?
• feel emotionally numb?
• you feel helpless?

Your Partner’s Belittling Behaviors
Does your partner:

• humiliate or yell at you?
• criticize or put you down?
• treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
• ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
• blame you for their abusive behavior?
• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Threats or Behavior
Does your partner:

• have a bad, unpredictable temper?
• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
• threaten to take your children away or harm them?
• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
• force you to have sex?
• destroy your belongings?

Your Partner’s Controlling Actions
Does your partner:

• act excessively jealous and possessive?
• ontrol where you go or what you do?
• keep you from seeing your friends or family?
• limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
• constantly check up on you?

Normal, healthy relationships are what we all want. If any of these questions can be answered with a “yes,” it may be time to rethink your relationship. We need our partners to lift us up, not physically or emotionally beat us down. Healthy relationships are full of love, respect, value, consideration for each other, equal compromises, and general happiness. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. It just might save a life or a spirit.