The Scaries!!!
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    image

    CHOSEN BY YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD CONFESSIONAL MANAGERS

    This week was full of GREAT confessions. Keep 'em coming, ladies. And remember....just because the confession doesn't show up immediately, doesn't mean it's been deleted!!! 

    These are the cream of the crop out of nearly 3,000 confessions that were posted

    286277 Putting my 3 yr old to bed & I asked him to please not pee in his bed. He said, "Ok Mommy. And if I do you'll say 'freakin A!' right Mommy?"

    286134 If I get pregnant ever again I'm going to make my OB test for Assholery in the baby. Not keeping it if it comes back positive.

    285142 My 3 yr old keeps (literally) locking himself in his bedroom. I know he is safe, so I don't always rush to his aid because I enjoy the peace and quiet.

    287111 I was in a dressing room and dd4 & DH were waiting. I could barely hear them talking & then I hear dd angrily "you're starting to piss me off!" Couldnt stop laughing. I know that feel bro.

    287344 I just helped my 8 year old son dress up like a Zombie (on March 2nd) and stand on the corner to freak out people who drove by...It was hilarious! It was his "best day ever". Our neighbors probably hate us though lol

    287175 I went to the gym to swim laps and the pool was closed. So I came home and ate 5 cookies.

    287116 I tried & tried to get ds to eat what we were eating for dinner, he refused, so I tried cereal. He wouldn't touch it, wanted a bath. He had his bath & is now sitting naked eating his cereal. I'm not gonna fight it.

    286725 Sometimes when I talk to certain in laws I can't hear what they are saying cuz I can't stop envisioning them scream when I knock their front teeth out...muahaha(evil laugh)

    286038 DH uses the same towel for a week, I dry my ass and my crotch on it. Every. Single. Day.

    285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

    284898 Trying to read my trashy novel, but I catch myself watching Bob the Builder instead...It's so riveting!Yep I'm definitely a M.O.M. Lol

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • GingersnapGingersnap
    Posts: 9,696Member
    285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

    :))
    image
    “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ― Joseph Campbell
  • DovahkiinDovahkiin
    Posts: 1,223Member
    What @Gingersnap said!
    It's funny, but I gauge how religiously I've read the confessional over the week by how many of the Scaries I've already read. If that even makes sense lol
    Stroke the furry wall
  • DovahkiinDovahkiin
    Posts: 1,223Member
    And @unforgiven and @LesboMom I never comment, but I read the Scaries every week :)
    Stroke the furry wall
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 6,043Member
    These are all great again this week. The one about testing for assholery cracked me up!!!
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    @dovahkiin Thanks for the note!!!! It's nice to know that people ARE indeed reading these. :) 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • missbeing_a_deadheadmissbeing_a_deadhead
    Posts: 265Member
    I look forward to the scaries every week! Always a good laugh :)
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    284898 Trying to read my trashy novel, but I catch myself watching Bob the Builder instead...It's so riveting!Yep I'm definitely a M.O.M. Lol


    Damn you, OC and @LesboMom...now I've got that frickin' song stuck in my head...just the first damn line.  OVER AND OVER AND OVER!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    @bellabefana the Bob the Builder song?? Hahaha 


    Come on ladies - step right up - claim your funny confessions!!! 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • TheHeadacheslayer
    Posts: 2,472Member
    287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)
  • Tranquil
    Posts: 616Member

    @LesboMom  I read these every week!  They're hilarious

     #287116 I tried & tried to get ds to eat what we were eating for dinner, he refused, so I tried cereal. He wouldn't touch it, wanted a bath. He had his bath & is now sitting naked eating his cereal. I'm not gonna fight it

    I could have written this, I swear this exact thing happened to me just a few days ago I'm SO glad I'm not alone

  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    HA!!! @tranquil My wifey reads the confessions and will call me on some of them - or question whether I wrote them or not :) 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 979Member
    I look forward to these every week!!

    287116-totally with you! Pick your battles
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • Moomin
    Posts: 649Member

    287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)


    Exactly this!
    It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.

    I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.
  • DovahkiinDovahkiin
    Posts: 1,223Member
    Definitely reading them @LesboMom sadly for me, normally minutes after they're posted lol
    Stroke the furry wall
  • KrabbyKay
    Posts: 5,914Member
    Moomin said:

    287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)


    Exactly this!


    YEP!

    And 287175 Knucks, sister!!!!!! You rock the catbox!!!
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    YAY! I made the scaries!
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    I was 287116
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member

    285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

    :))



    lmao this is total awesomesauce!
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    286038 DH uses the same towel for a week, I dry my ass and my crotch on it. Every. Single. Day.
    I should totally do this.  DH is always getting on me about the amount of towels I use because I like a different one each time(don't want to be worried I am drying my hair with the part I last dried my ass with) and he only uses one a week or sometimes, two weeks(gross).  This would be a great revenge.  lol
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    @dolphinlover26 I invested in the turbie towel - lame I know - but it totally works. Now I never have to worry about rubbing my butt all over my hair :) 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • JustAConfusedMamaJustAConfusedMama
    Posts: 4,527Member
    @Lesbomom, that isn't a bad Idea.  I have seen those things I just always wondered if they were worth it, but it does beat rubbing my ass on my head.  lol
    If you would like to sponsor me for the Imagine Walk for Autism in April, for my friend's son please click the below link and donate.
    http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/sfamily/12th-imagine-walk-and-family-fun-day-for-autism
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 3,812Confessional Manager
    @dolphinlover26 they totally work - they are not some miracle towel or anything - but my hair fits in there and it dries without the use of a big regular towel. 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • undercoverbanana
    Posts: 12,609Member
    omg...the farting in front of your hubs.......that goes both ways, dude.......lol!
    i'm nekkid.
  • WhoDatIsWhoDatIs
    Posts: 1,453Member
    Turbie Twist all the fuckin way!!!! knucklefuckinbump!!
    You and me, we go way back.
  • Anonymous39
    Posts: 172Member
    286038 DH uses the same towel for a week, I dry my ass and my crotch on it. Every. Single. Day.

    Omg!! Haha!!
    It's nunnya... Nunnya yo business..