The Scaries!!!

LesboMom

CHOSEN BY YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD CONFESSIONAL MANAGERS

This week was full of GREAT confessions. Keep 'em coming, ladies. And remember....just because the confession doesn't show up immediately, doesn't mean it's been deleted!!!

These are the cream of the crop out of nearly 3,000 confessions that were posted

286277 Putting my 3 yr old to bed & I asked him to please not pee in his bed. He said, "Ok Mommy. And if I do you'll say 'freakin A!' right Mommy?"

286134 If I get pregnant ever again I'm going to make my OB test for Assholery in the baby. Not keeping it if it comes back positive.

285142 My 3 yr old keeps (literally) locking himself in his bedroom. I know he is safe, so I don't always rush to his aid because I enjoy the peace and quiet.

287111 I was in a dressing room and dd4 & DH were waiting. I could barely hear them talking & then I hear dd angrily "you're starting to piss me off!" Couldnt stop laughing. I know that feel bro.

287344 I just helped my 8 year old son dress up like a Zombie (on March 2nd) and stand on the corner to freak out people who drove by...It was hilarious! It was his "best day ever". Our neighbors probably hate us though lol

287175 I went to the gym to swim laps and the pool was closed. So I came home and ate 5 cookies.

287116 I tried & tried to get ds to eat what we were eating for dinner, he refused, so I tried cereal. He wouldn't touch it, wanted a bath. He had his bath & is now sitting naked eating his cereal. I'm not gonna fight it.

286725 Sometimes when I talk to certain in laws I can't hear what they are saying cuz I can't stop envisioning them scream when I knock their front teeth out...muahaha(evil laugh)

286038 DH uses the same towel for a week, I dry my ass and my crotch on it. Every. Single. Day.

285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

284898 Trying to read my trashy novel, but I catch myself watching Bob the Builder instead...It's so riveting!Yep I'm definitely a M.O.M. Lol

Gingersnap

285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

:))

Dovahkiin

What @Gingersnap said!
It's funny, but I gauge how religiously I've read the confessional over the week by how many of the Scaries I've already read. If that even makes sense lol

Dovahkiin

And @unforgiven and @LesboMom I never comment, but I read the Scaries every week :)

PurpleFlowers

These are all great again this week. The one about testing for assholery cracked me up!!!

LesboMom

@dovahkiin Thanks for the note!!!! It's nice to know that people ARE indeed reading these. :)

missbeing_a_deadhead

I look forward to the scaries every week! Always a good laugh :)

BellaBefana

284898 Trying to read my trashy novel, but I catch myself watching Bob the Builder instead...It's so riveting!Yep I'm definitely a M.O.M. Lol

Damn you, OC and @LesboMom...now I've got that frickin' song stuck in my head...just the first damn line. OVER AND OVER AND OVER!

LesboMom

@bellabefana the Bob the Builder song?? Hahaha

Come on ladies - step right up - claim your funny confessions!!!

TheHeadacheslayer

287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)

Tranquil

@LesboMom I read these every week! They're hilarious

#287116 I tried & tried to get ds to eat what we were eating for dinner, he refused, so I tried cereal. He wouldn't touch it, wanted a bath. He had his bath & is now sitting naked eating his cereal. I'm not gonna fight it

I could have written this, I swear this exact thing happened to me just a few days ago I'm SO glad I'm not alone

LesboMom

HA!!! @tranquil My wifey reads the confessions and will call me on some of them - or question whether I wrote them or not :)

Ashdawn684

I look forward to these every week!!

287116-totally with you! Pick your battles

Moomin

TheHeadacheslayer said:
287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)

Exactly this!

Dovahkiin

Definitely reading them @LesboMom sadly for me, normally minutes after they're posted lol

KrabbyKay

Moomin said:

TheHeadacheslayer said:
287344 letting your kid dress as a zombie to prank neighbors? SO MUCH AWESOME!!! You get parent of the year :)

Exactly this!

YEP!

And 287175 Knucks, sister!!!!!! You rock the catbox!!!

Calliopemarie

@Dolphinlover26

JustAConfusedMama

YAY! I made the scaries!

JustAConfusedMama

I was 287116

JustAConfusedMama

Gingersnap said:
285609 My husband said he wanted me to be less inhibited with my body, so I have started farting openly and often. I had never farted in front of him for the last 17 years. Be careful what you ask for, dickhead.

:))

lmao this is total awesomesauce!

JustAConfusedMama

286038 DH uses the same towel for a week, I dry my ass and my crotch on it. Every. Single. Day.

I should totally do this. DH is always getting on me about the amount of towels I use because I like a different one each time(don't want to be worried I am drying my hair with the part I last dried my ass with) and he only uses one a week or sometimes, two weeks(gross). This would be a great revenge. lol

LesboMom

@dolphinlover26 I invested in the turbie towel - lame I know - but it totally works. Now I never have to worry about rubbing my butt all over my hair :)

JustAConfusedMama

@Lesbomom, that isn't a bad Idea. I have seen those things I just always wondered if they were worth it, but it does beat rubbing my ass on my head. lol

LesboMom

@dolphinlover26 they totally work - they are not some miracle towel or anything - but my hair fits in there and it dries without the use of a big regular towel.